b3ta.com user nickanytime
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» Scary Neighbours

Cousin's across the road weirdo
True story, my cousins across the road neighbour died, and as the freaky recluse had no living relatives his house was taken by the government or something. (not totally sure what happens in this situation) Anyway, they send a clean up crew around to make the house presentable, as he was living in total squalor. The proceeded to clean out his garden, where they found a volkswagen beetle buried in his fecking lawn. They dug the whole thing up and also found a nova and a bike. Turns out he was alot more of a nutter than the rumours has indicated.
(Fri 26th Aug 2005, 12:52, More)

» Near Death Experiences

When i was a nipper, i had incredible stomach pains during my P.E lesson. My teacher, being a cold hearted banshee, decided that i was fine and i kept running. Then, after i collapsed and a girl screamed, she sent me to the medical room. While there, the nurse asked how i was. Not being able to answer as i was in so much pain, she decided to send for my grand-dad. When he saw the look on my face, he took me straight down the hospital. He was a great man. As soon a we ran through the doors, a doctor saw to me and after checking me over said " We're going to take you to the operating theatre". I shit mself! And the last thing i remember about the experience was the doctor shouting " his appendix has ruptured!!". Then i woke up a day and a half later, right as rain! Hooray!
(Thu 25th Nov 2004, 18:26, More)

» Premonitions

Bear with me here.
I once had a dream about the demon headmaster tv series. Now, ive never read any books or such, but i had watched the first series with my little sister. Well anyway, in this dream i basically plotted out the whole new series of the show with no background knowledge of it, and scared the shit out of my sis. We looked in the paper and the shows werent repeats or anythings sinister. So i had had one of the shittest premonitions in the world that could no way benifit me!! Fucksocks!
(Sun 21st Nov 2004, 7:49, More)

» Toilets

Senior School Tales
Whilst in year 10 at school, i was busting for a piss, so i ran into the nearest bog which was used mainly by year 7's. This resulted in it always being a complete fucking mess, with piss on the floor etc. As i get stage fright, i tend to stick to the cubicles for my business, and did indeed use one this time. The first cubicle i walk into, i was greeted by the worst smell i had ever encountered in my young life, which made me gag. What was it you ask? Well someone had shat themselves quite forcefully inside there own trollies, and abandoned them inside the toilet, without even a courtesy flush. It really did put me off going in that toliet ever again. I then left and told everyone i met to take a look inside there for a surprise, in which one person actually visited the site and vomited in the toilet with the shitty pants. I do not envy the cleaner, i tell you!

No apologies for girth.
(Mon 5th Sep 2005, 9:57, More)

» Sleepwalking

sleepy sleepy
I've only ever slept walk once, as i tend to be a heavy sleeper. This is the event as my mum reported it. i went to sleep fairly early, and had a rough time nodding off. hours later, my mother comes up the stairs and see's me facing the door to my bedroom, which had been closed, like the ending of the "blair witch project" . she crept up to me and asked " what are you doing?" to which i replied " i'm queueing". when asked what for, i had no reply. she then told me to get in fucking bed. so i went through the door and went to bed like nothing happened. dont remember a thing.

length? no ones complained to me yet...
(Tue 28th Aug 2007, 17:55, More)
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