b3ta.com user barrythief
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Profile for barrythief:
Profile Info:

My name is Barry and I live in Bristol. I'm 24, have two legs, two arms, and slightly more than the usual allocation of hair.

This is me:

pretty eh?

and when I'm not lurking on b3ta I'm doing this; Oxygen Thief

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Heckles

D list celeb compere at Butlins Minehead
wish I could remember his name...I was about 9, on holiday with my parents and out for the evening at the Saturday night's entertainment at Butlins in Minehead.

The compere starts reading out the lottery results bingo-style

Him: "One and Four..."
Me: "FIVE!"

he he - I kept this up for all 6 numbers, and the bonus ball.
(Fri 7th Apr 2006, 17:02, More)

» Toilets

pizza hut poo stitch up...
After having overindulged at our local pizza hut, me and two other mates realized we all needed to drop the kids off at the pool and, anticipating a lack of cubicle facilities, promptly raced to the lavs.

On our arrival, Alex took the one solitary shitter, leaving myself and Dave to form an orderly queue.

Now...many people would just get on with their business and leave, allowing others full use of the facilities...
not our Alex - he decides that this is a good time to start telling jokes, recounting stories of poos from days gone by, and generally being a disgusting bastard.

during a pause for breath, a complete stranger enters and joins the queue, and with a quick conspiritorial glance Dave and I quietly leg it back to our table to muse on the possible consequences of Alex striking up a conversation with his new "friend".

About 10 minutes later, he emerges; face red with embarrassment and a look of pure hate in his eyes.

He'd been merrily chatting away the entire time, steadily lowering the tone to ever decreasing depths until he flushed and exited the cubicle with a climatic:

"It's a good job this toilet isn't full of blood now!"

oh how we laughed - the fool!


btw: on a side note, if listening to flowing water helps you make pee-pee, would the sounds of James Blunt help you poo?

He is such utter shite
(Mon 5th Sep 2005, 10:54, More)

» Join us... come join the cult

should've gone to specsavers
My mate "Mike The Midget" once disappeared into a cunt...
(Thu 26th Jan 2006, 18:30, More)

» Weird Traditions

Parents lie...
My flatmate once informed me of her father's insistance that playing with eggshells after eating boiled eggs would give you warts...

this is the man who also maintained that holding your earlobes after burning your fingers on something would soothe the pain...

Personally, I think he just couldn't be arsed with tidying away mashed up egg mess or bothering with proper first aid
(Fri 29th Jul 2005, 23:52, More)

» Singing the wrong words

ooh that reminds me
Drunken karaoke singalong favourites:

#1 The Divinyls "I don't want anybody else, when I think about you I fist myself"

#2, Elton John + George Michael's stunning duet:
"Don't let your son go down on me,
although I touch myself it's always someone else I see,
just allow a fragment of your wife to wonder freeeeeeeeeeee ohhhhh
cos losing everything is like your son going down on meeeeeeee"

£1 a pint skol lager is fantastic for getting the creative juices flowing
(Wed 2nd Feb 2005, 9:10, More)
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