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» World's Sickest Joke

On The Right Track?
While walking to work early one morning a man ran into an old buddy of his walking in the other direction. "What are you doing out so early in the day?" the man asked. "Oh dude you wouldn't believe what happened to me." his buddy replied. "Dude check this out." continued the man's buddy, "I got so fucked up at this bar last night, the asshole bartender took my car keys. So I had to walk home when the bar closed. So I started walking and decided I could save time if I cut down through the railroad train tracks. I get a little ways down the tracks when I see this bitch tied down to the train tracks. I looked around but there wasn't anybody else there. Just this girl all tied up across the rails. So I thought, hey ain't nobody around, this chick's all tied up. I'm gonna fuck her. Man I fucked her so good. Then I was gonna leave but I figured why rush off? This bitch ain't going nowhere. So I fucked her again and again. I spent the whole night fucking the shit outta that cunt. Then the sun started coming up, so before anybody came along and caught me I took off for home again and then I ran into you." "Holly Fuck!" the man exclaimed. "You gotta be a crazy fucker raping a poor girl like that." So shocked by what his buddy had told him the man was however still a little curious so he asked, "So during all that time you spent fucking her, did you get any head?" "Head ? " his buddy said "Naw, I never found no head."
(Fri 17th Feb 2006, 9:11, More)

» Singing the wrong words

Wrong words weply
Adam Ants, "Friend or Foe"
" I want those who get to know me,
To become admirers or my enemies."

Rewritten for the real life as...
" Said that she was gonna blow me.
I think i'd rather have a enema."

Sir Elton sings it real
" Cause losing everything.....
Is just like your son going down on me ...

How about a little Motown mandatory drug testing?......
" Cause if you want to know if he's doing blow....
It's in his piss."

Sammy Davis sing Candyman in a 9/11 tempo.......

" Who can jack some airplanes? ...Crash em in your town ?
Hide out in a cave and watch your buildings come down?"
" The Taliban can, The Taliban can."
" The Taliban can, cause they're fucked-up in the head,
and want us all to drop dead."

" Who can take some anthrax? ...and drop it in the post ?
And with a little luck from Allah you will soon become a ghost?"
" The Taliban can, The Taliban can. "
" The Taliban can, cause they hate the infidels.
and want us all to go to hell."

And instead of a scarecrow without a brain, What if Dorothy had met a white trash, trailer park, crack addict? The lyrics for the song
"If I Only had a Brain." would most likely be changed to something more like this......
" I raped my daughter, her name's Sally.
And I smoke crack in the alley.
And I talk shit cause I'm high.....
....da doo da doodley doo. "
" I'm unemployed like a negro.
I got Charlton Heston's ego."
" I'm a White Trash Trailer Guy. "

All in all I think Robert Palmer said it best when he sang.........
" You're gonna have to face it, You're A Dick Head in love."

(Fri 4th Feb 2005, 6:41, More)

» Childhood bad taste

Childhood Bad Taste
Ketchup & Marmalade Sandwiches
(Fri 10th Dec 2004, 23:00, More)