b3ta.com user Fwapper
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This, in case you have not already noticed, is my profile.

If I have any news, it goes here:


W/Y/H!!! I finally got something into the newsletter! :)


Excessively detailed train picture
Bert Monroy is a digital artist who slowly
and painstakingly creates extraordinarily
photorealistic scenes exclusively in Photoshop.
But what scenes! Frankly, this, which took 2000
hours and involved 15000 layers, is the most
banal and meaningless display of technical
genius we have seen all year. We fall at your
feet, Bert Monroy, as you obviously aren't even
trying that hard!

The Ginger Fuhrer forgot to mention that the finished flattened image takes up 1.7 gigabytes of space. omg!


Fauking ace music about Moobs by B3tans. Woo.

Sorry but I don't actually know the username of the author... oh well...


Apparently I'm going to spend eternity having...
Sex With Nuns
Are You Damned?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey
but if Jesus catches me at it, he'll pluck my pubes out.

You are .doc You change from year to year, just to make things tough on your competition.  Only your creator really has a handle on you.
Which File Extension are You?

You are miniclip.com You like to play games and entertain people. You have been known to shock and flash on occasion.
Which Website are You?

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Ninth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)Extreme
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Extreme
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Extreme
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Extreme
Level 7 (Violent)Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Extreme
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Extreme

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test


OK I can see you've all had enough now. That's because you've all gone to spam some more on the messageboard. I know you...

Free Hit Counter
Free Hit Counter
I got this on the 23rd November 2005
Just noticed, the colour of this^^ is #666666, must be my Satanic personality...


This is now very old

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» School fights

chav fights
I went to the local comp for a few years - and there were fights almost daily. One which sticks in my mind however went like this:

The school was out in the country, so the playgrond was surrounded by farmer's fields... and farmer's fields often have electric fences...

...and there was one boy who was a right cunt, and who had just thrown his packed lunch over some chav's cap. So the chav and his 'hood' picked him up and... *takes moment to steady myself* attached his bollocks to the wire.

I will never forget those screams...

Thank b3ta I left that school a year or so after.

For those sick people who want to know what he screamed, it went along the lines of: "AAAAAH Please stop! Aaaaa! No, No, No, NOO! Aaaaaah! Help!! Waaaaah! AaAAAAAAaaaAAh!" (and so on.) Right wailer he was.
(Sat 11th Mar 2006, 13:24, More)

» Shame

apart from accidentally farting loudly in public places,
I struggle to think of anything else...

*is ashamed*
(Thu 24th Nov 2005, 20:22, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

A man went to a local brothel to get some practice performing oral sex on his wife. The woman at the 'reception' (yeah, like brothels have receptions...) gave him a key (or keys!) and told him to go to room 314.

The man walked into the room and met the lady of the night. He told her why he was there, so she gave him a few tips and then told him to go for it.

So, the man began to perform the oral sex and he was, by her (typical ho) reaction, pretty good at it. But something funny happened: A little while into the deed, he discovered something in his mouth. He spat it into his palm and found a chunk of carrot.

"Oh god, that's horrible!" he thought, but he said nothing and continued.

A few seconds after that, he came out with a pea.

"Damn, I can't take much more of this. There's something wrong with this Ho." But once again, he said nothing and gave it another shot.

A few moments later, he came up with a bit of chicken. He just couldn't stand it any longer.

"I can't do this anymore! I'm gonna throw up!"

"That's odd," remarked the hooker, "that's what the last guy did."
(Mon 20th Mar 2006, 20:07, More)

» Your Weirdest Teacher

Mrs McColgan
My music teacher when I was 12.

She had a bell which always sat on the left hand side of her piano. It never moved. Ever. She used it to bring the class to attention, but she also used it to fill up tonnes of time with crap stories.

IF you were stupid enough to touch that bell, you would definately grow up to marry a bearded troll woman. And have children with six fingers.

Oh, and she was also married to eleven Italian football players.

Most disturbingly of all, she would regularly cackle on her way down the corridors.

In all the time she taught me, I don't think I actually ever touched a musical instrument.

Odd. Very odd.


And in German last year, we had an assistant teacher, who was actually German. Her name: Barbera. She was short, stocky and had a voice deep enough to attract whales. I have a dstinc memory of her entering the class for the first time, rolling up her sleeves, flexing her muscles and saying:
Most scary moment of my life.
(Tue 15th Nov 2005, 21:24, More)

» Have you ever paid for sex?

No I haven't you sad bastards

(Sun 22nd Jan 2006, 22:04, More)
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