Profile for Hairy_matt:
My profile is fairly ordinary, although my nose sticks out a bit..
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- a member for 18 years, 10 months and 22 days
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- has posted 4 messages on the talk board
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- has posted 5 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
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My profile is fairly ordinary, although my nose sticks out a bit..
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Now, there was no need for that...
NTHell
After struggling along in our old house for a year or so with NTLs frankly shocking levels of service, we take the opportunity when moving house to ditch the useless buggers. We firstly phoned them up to cancel the contract, then when a bill appeared a month later phoned them again. Another month later another bill arrives, so ring them again.. At this point it finally transpired that the first, or indeed second, muppet should have told us to cancel in writing, so we did. We are then informed that they require a months notice of cancellation...grrrr. So anyways, having now paid for 3 months cable TV for a house we don't live in anymore, we finally thought we'd escaped...
Fast forward 3 months and I get a forwarded bill at our new address for outstanding charges on our old account...apparantly we owed them 6 sodding pence. After all the arsing hassle the badger worrying bunch of cockgogglers put us through to cancel a service we weren't using, and after swindling us out of 3 months charges for providing fuck all, there was no need for that..
I paid it on my visa card though so the stupid cnuts had to pay the 50p visa handling fee..that made me feel slightly better..
No apologies, I'm following NTL's business model.
(Fri 17th Jun 2005, 10:44, More)
NTHell
After struggling along in our old house for a year or so with NTLs frankly shocking levels of service, we take the opportunity when moving house to ditch the useless buggers. We firstly phoned them up to cancel the contract, then when a bill appeared a month later phoned them again. Another month later another bill arrives, so ring them again.. At this point it finally transpired that the first, or indeed second, muppet should have told us to cancel in writing, so we did. We are then informed that they require a months notice of cancellation...grrrr. So anyways, having now paid for 3 months cable TV for a house we don't live in anymore, we finally thought we'd escaped...
Fast forward 3 months and I get a forwarded bill at our new address for outstanding charges on our old account...apparantly we owed them 6 sodding pence. After all the arsing hassle the badger worrying bunch of cockgogglers put us through to cancel a service we weren't using, and after swindling us out of 3 months charges for providing fuck all, there was no need for that..
I paid it on my visa card though so the stupid cnuts had to pay the 50p visa handling fee..that made me feel slightly better..
No apologies, I'm following NTL's business model.
(Fri 17th Jun 2005, 10:44, More)
» I was drunk when I bought this
Not exactly drunk as such, but...
..while clubbing, back in the day, I had a propensity for shiny glow in the dark things.. On more than one occasion I spotted some washed up hippy selling Clippers or other tat with a few blobs of UV paint daubed on them and immediately realised that I JUST HAD TO BUY THEM FOR EVERY ONE OF MY MATES...!! Needless to say, my more level headed friends were often underwhelmed by my thoughtful gifts. :-(
Still, at least it was always easy to find my lighter in a darkened room, bloody thing usually looked radioactive..
(Thu 9th Jun 2005, 20:00, More)
Not exactly drunk as such, but...
..while clubbing, back in the day, I had a propensity for shiny glow in the dark things.. On more than one occasion I spotted some washed up hippy selling Clippers or other tat with a few blobs of UV paint daubed on them and immediately realised that I JUST HAD TO BUY THEM FOR EVERY ONE OF MY MATES...!! Needless to say, my more level headed friends were often underwhelmed by my thoughtful gifts. :-(
Still, at least it was always easy to find my lighter in a darkened room, bloody thing usually looked radioactive..
(Thu 9th Jun 2005, 20:00, More)
» When animals attack...
Slanty eyed sideways walking bastards
I was a small boy, and as with many small boys I was regularly hauled round a variety of interesting locations by well meaning parents..
One of these locations was the infinitely terrifying FISH MARKET OF DOOM where they sold live crabs and lobsters.. Needless to say when the large crate of live crabs was knocked over, showering my 4 year old self with biting, snapping mobile canopes, I was thrilled and excited...and didn't at all break down in hysterical tears. It made such a lasting impact on me that as a 29 year old 6'2" bloke, the little slanty eyed sidweays walking bastards still give me the heeby jeebies.
Still, I've eaten enough of them over the years which is more than they managed, despite their best efforts, to do to me..
(Thu 2nd Jun 2005, 14:04, More)
Slanty eyed sideways walking bastards
I was a small boy, and as with many small boys I was regularly hauled round a variety of interesting locations by well meaning parents..
One of these locations was the infinitely terrifying FISH MARKET OF DOOM where they sold live crabs and lobsters.. Needless to say when the large crate of live crabs was knocked over, showering my 4 year old self with biting, snapping mobile canopes, I was thrilled and excited...and didn't at all break down in hysterical tears. It made such a lasting impact on me that as a 29 year old 6'2" bloke, the little slanty eyed sidweays walking bastards still give me the heeby jeebies.
Still, I've eaten enough of them over the years which is more than they managed, despite their best efforts, to do to me..
(Thu 2nd Jun 2005, 14:04, More)
» Useless advice
Painted on the the wall of a warehouse squat in Lancaster..
"Never eat anything larger than your head.."
Can't argue with that really..
(Fri 20th Oct 2006, 14:33, More)
Painted on the the wall of a warehouse squat in Lancaster..
"Never eat anything larger than your head.."
Can't argue with that really..
(Fri 20th Oct 2006, 14:33, More)
» Weddings
Just the usual..
..wedding of a family friend. Drank rather a lot of wine and got off with the bride's brother's (recently) ex girlfriend. Having failed to convince the bride's brother to lend us his hotel room for a few hours, I decided it was time to head home. Walked out of the front door of the hotel, sailed straight past the waiting taxi and proceeded to walk the 12 miles home in uncomfortable dress shoes, via the Kebab shop. :-) Had sodding blisters for weeks...
(Fri 15th Jul 2005, 10:52, More)
Just the usual..
..wedding of a family friend. Drank rather a lot of wine and got off with the bride's brother's (recently) ex girlfriend. Having failed to convince the bride's brother to lend us his hotel room for a few hours, I decided it was time to head home. Walked out of the front door of the hotel, sailed straight past the waiting taxi and proceeded to walk the 12 miles home in uncomfortable dress shoes, via the Kebab shop. :-) Had sodding blisters for weeks...
(Fri 15th Jul 2005, 10:52, More)