b3ta.com user SoneMe
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18, male, lurker
Haven't really had anything to say for the last 3 or so years. Once I finally got a life I thought I would, but ho hum.

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» Teenage Crushes - Part Two

Tricia Helfer
Of Battlestar Galactica fame. I first saw it about a year ago, when I was 16...
I dare you to disagree
(Sun 8th Nov 2009, 16:14, More)

» Guilty Pleasures, part 2

All the old favourites, really
I do love a good dig for green gold up my nasal cavity. Whenever I'm on the loo, or in bed, I'll stick the finger up there and have a lovely dig. Like someone else said, the feeling of yanking a biggie up from right up there is unsurpassed, sheer bliss.
I like the occasional wank in the bathroom sink, and Nigella Lawson. Sometimes I combine the two, that's lovely
Rihanna. The music and her, by god I'd like a ride on that
Quick thought, does anyone else have one specific finger hey use for nosepicking? For me it's the left index, but I've seen people using their little fingers, ring finges, never the middle finger (too girthsome)

Be nice ya'll, I'm new (longtime lurker)
(Sun 16th Mar 2008, 16:22, More)

» Bizarre habits

Loading the dishwasher. The cutlery in the cutlery tray have to be either symmetrical, or the opposite of symmetry, for example I'll put a spoon in the one side on the left, and on the other side, it'll go on the right.

This goes especially for the teaspoons.

If I'm reading something online, like b3ta, I find myself absent-mindedly highlighting then unhighlighting the text above or below the bit I'm reading. Also, I have to scroll down as I read so that the line I'm reading is always at the very top of the page, or at least the first line of the paragraph that I'm reading.

When walking down a road where there are lots of cars parked at the side, I have to try and make sure that I'm behind a parked car whenever a moving car drives by. If I can't make it at the pace I'm going, I shift into an undignified little sprint to make it to the safety of a parked car, and if I can't make it, I have to use mental powers to protect myself from whatever-the-fuck would happen to me if I'm caught exposed by the villainous moving car.

When having sex I like t- oh yes. I don't get laid.
(Fri 2nd Jul 2010, 16:29, More)

» Real-life slapstick

No brakes.
I liked nothing more in the summer holidays a few years back than riding my beat up old mountain bike around with my friend D.
One day though, my bike was fucked, so I borrowed my sister's. It was purple, with pink bits, and the brakes were shite.
I was riding up the road just going past D's house, when a car came up behind me, so I moved to one side, since it was a choice between getting run over or shifting ass. Heading straight towards D's dad's car, I braked. They didn't work.
Bear in mind I was travelling at about 3mph here, so when my front wheel hit the car's bumper, there was no dramatic buckling or crash; I simply slid over the handlebars and headbutted the car neatly in the centre of the bonnet.
D's dad drove around with an unexplainable dent in his bonnet for several years.
(Sat 23rd Jan 2010, 16:48, More)

» Vomit Pt2

Friend's house
Was handed a pretty vile brew of something like blackcurrant squash and red wine, which I downed like a trooper (may actually have sipped gingerly at it, finishing perhaps two-thirds of the glass before deciding that my innards would prefer me not to continue), accompanied by a hefty amount of lager, then staggered home an hour or so later.
By the time I got into bed I was already feeling considerably shaky, but I decided it was a case of mind over matter and I would CONQUER my errant guts.
That didn't work out.
However, instead of chundering into my bin, I hurled out of my window and down the wall, onto the porch roof. Treat for the neighbours. I was woken up by a fucking irate sister yelling at me to clean up the bathroom, which I must have reached at some point, and the porch roof as well.
Cue me, hungover, bleary and crusty-boxers clad, cleaning off the front of my house with a mop, flicking chunks into my face and trying not to add to my previous efforts.

Oh, and at Reading festival this year, I thew up Strongbow out of my nose then passed out on the last night
(Wed 13th Jan 2010, 20:57, More)
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