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I wish I was a fisherman :(

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» Heckles

Friendly Fire
Around the start of the year I went to a Rangers game and witnessed one fan heckle his own support and team.

Firstly just before half time and at full time he was heard to shout at some fans leaving early to avoid the queues "Oi, something exciting happening? where you all going?"

Secondly when the striker burst through and was heading to the goal one fan screamed "shoot" he then fluffed the shot, above fan shouts out "I would but I haven't a fucking gun!"
(Sat 8th Apr 2006, 17:43, More)

» School Sports Day

Tents and Injuries
In my 5th year of high school the Sports Day was held in pissing rain. So us seniors being crafty devils hid in the common room building tents. Twas good fun.

Also one year during the hurdles a girl fell akwardly, and since she was a skiving wee bitch, everyone ignored her believing her to be faking. So she was left for about 2 hours in the scorching sun, till the teacher/medic went up and turns out she had a torn ligament.

Hahaha well she deserved it, right little bitch she was. Also i almost hit her with a javelin, whilst she was lying down.
(Thu 30th Mar 2006, 23:14, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

Twin Towers
I heard this about 3 days after September the 11th.

Two blokes are standing at the water cooler on the 35th floor of one of the towers of the World Trade Centre on 11th of September 2001. They are discussing their favourite flavours of crisps. Bloke 1 goes "In all honesty I prefer salt and vinegar flavoured." Bloke 2 replies "well my favourite flavour is PLANE!"
(Tue 24th Jan 2006, 18:34, More)

» Child Labour

A life of work is fucking hard
In my fourth year of high school we were allowed out into the world of work for work experience. I ended up at a local fish selling company. Now i expected a easy life of stock taking in the company shop but it wasn't to be. Firstly myself and another member of my class at the smae company had to dispose of old company documents kept in a disused fishbox store. Now this was fucking like the victorian era building, infested with rats and virtually no light. Also the cunts gave us old coal bags to put the documents in so we were coated in coal dust and looked like chimney sweeps. I sneezed coal dust for a most of the cunting week.

Another time working down the local fish market I has the glamourous job of covering these big tubs (about 4ftx4ftx4ft) full of fish with ice. I did this for about four hours and twas fucking sore on me old back and being up to your elbows in ice isn't that much fun. Saying that I made £50 for this so was good money all you had to do was put up with the cold hard labour and scary fishermen :(
(Fri 17th Feb 2006, 20:56, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

Starvin' Africans, remember all the news coverage? add this to school boy humour!
Q) How do you get 50 ethiopians into a phonebox?
A) Throw in a can of beans.

Q) How do you get them out of the phonebox?
A) Run away with the tin opener!

Q) What do you call two ethiopians in a sleeping bag?
A) A Twix.
(Sun 29th Jan 2006, 20:47, More)
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