b3ta.com user BIV
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A sort of hemi-semi-demi God. Worship me. I am one of the twelve Gods of pointless arguments (you might not believe this it true, if so please feel free to message me and detail your reasons). I'm not planning to sacrifice my only son to redeem all the world's sinners but I'm not going to smite anyone either. Not quite as amazing as the christian God but not as vengeful either. And at least I exist. Unfortunately I'm a secular atheist and the resulting non self belief can lead to fairly severe metaphysical angst. I try to counter this through plenty of bed rest and self harm (of the Dominos variety) but still, from time to time, I am forced to resort to reality tv. Whilst not on God duties I can be found in Glasgow studying Philosophy - this particular academic discipline can be fairly characterised as one very long pointless argument and as such I enjoy it a lot.

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Best answers to questions:

» Messing with the Dark Side

very scary
I used to live in Newcastle and shared a flat with 6 other people. Anyway, two of the girls I shared with would often sit in the room next to mine and gossip. The walls were pretty thin so I could make out what they were saying. A few times in a row I heard them talking about me and making fun of me a bit (I was quite shy at the time). Anyway on one fateful day I heard them chuckling away and then I heard very distinctively one of the girls say - "How come you can still hear us even though there's nobody here?" and then lauging away in a very mocking tone. There was no mistaking the voice - it was definitely my flatmate's voice I could hear. So understandably shaken I went next door and indeed there was nobody there at all. So what were the voices I heard? Well turned out I was suffering from paranoid schizophrenia and I was having auditory hallucinations (although I didn't find that out until much later). Things got a lot worse - more voices, voices all the time, very scary - I was sectioned and put in a psychiatric ward and I am still taking medication today. Woo.
(Sun 23rd Apr 2006, 13:43, More)

» Mad Stuff You've Done To Get Someone To Sleep With You

Not so much mad just a pain in the arse really.
To get this one girl to have sex with me I had to:

- Learn how to use ridiculous and irritating text speak.
- Pretend I was a huge fan of Avril Lavigne.
- Lie about my age.
- Act as if I was a lot stupider than I really am.
- Pretend I hated my parents (I really dont we have a great relationship).
- Watch Hollyoaks every single day, even though I cant stand it, just so wed have something to talk about.
- Send photos of someone else just so shed agree to meet up with me.
- Arrange to meet up in secret because I knew other people might not approve.
- Stifle her screams of terror.


It was defintiely worth it though. :)
(Mon 16th Apr 2007, 14:34, More)

» We have to talk

Two weeks after my 30th birthday
and my parents sit me down and tell me we have to talk.

"Son, do you remember when you turned 13 and we told you all about Father Christmas and how he wasn't actually real and that it was just something you tell to children to make them happy and to put a bit of magic into their lives?"

"Yes indeed I do mother. I cried and cried and cried until I could cry no more."

"Well son, now that you've turned 30 we thought it was time we had another little chat. You know God...
(Mon 23rd Apr 2007, 1:33, More)

» Mad Stuff You've Done To Get Someone To Sleep With You

seriously
lowered my standards.
(Mon 16th Apr 2007, 14:09, More)

» When were you last really scared?

Clockwork Orange
Not the film but the shitty underground system in Glasgow where I reside.

For some reason, often when I'm standing on the tiny platform and I hear the rushing sound of the wind coming down the tunnel as the train arrives, I get this really strong and irrational fear that I might just jump off the platform and get crushed to death.

Partly I'm scared of the pain this would cause me, partly I'm scared of the fact that I would think about doing this dreadful act at all and partly I'm scared of the fact that hundreds of glaswegains would be slightly inconvenienced by my death and would therefore hate me in my passing.
(Sat 24th Feb 2007, 20:23, More)
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