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» Teenage Parties
3/4
Tenuous link to house party theme, but we were teenagers (19) and it did start as an innocent enough Uni house party:
Then 4 of us decided to go to VodBull in the Birmingham Academy. We'll call them mates #1, #2 and #3 to protect the innocent.
We get there and each consume an equal amount (?8 doubles) of vodka.
Story of Mate #1:
I'm called outside by security guards to find mate #1 leaning against the wall, vomiting. He's being consoled by two members of the homeless community. Well, one's consoling, one's stealing his wallet.
I spirit him back to his gaff in a taxi with ALL windows wound FULLY down and him sticking his head out one vomiting. Put him to bed, as he settles the phone at the end of his be rings. Who could this be?
Story of Mate #2:
"Hello there, this is Officer X of the West Midlands Police. Do you know a [name of Mate #2]"
"Er, yes"
"We've found him slumped on the ring road [very busy road in Birmingham] near Snobs nightclub"
"Oh ok, shall I come and get him"
"yes please"
[those of you who know Birmingham will know it's a long way from the Academy to Snobs when you can't walk]
I engage the same taxi driver to return to town . Find Officer X and mate #2 in a doorway, crying his eyes out. Cajole him into taxi, journey proceeds as with mate #1. return him to his bed. He confesses on the way that he accused officer X of stealing his phone, and, when it was returned, throwing the phone across the ring road: "didn't want it anyway"
Return to the academy (why the hell not?) and stand at the bar idly wondering about mate #3
Story of Mate #3:
When, out of the corner of my eye, I spot mild-mannered, bookish mate #3 snogging a girl. "Oh, I didn't realise mate #3's GF was here" thinks I.
[bear in mind mate#3 and his gf were, and still are, THE REAL THING. They were and are very much in love. They are ever faithul to one another]
The snogging couple turn around. It is immediatley clear that the snogee is not mate#3's gf of 2 years, but some entirely random female.
To this day, the GF in question has no idea of the events that transpired.
Sequel #1: The next day, a colleague in the lab tells of seeing a bloke fitting the discription of mate #2 weaving his way over the ASTON EXPRESSWAY.
Sequel #2: The next day, mate #2 is shopping for a new phone. Who should he run into but officer X? Oh how they laughed.
Apols for length and tenuous link to original question.
(Tue 18th Apr 2006, 23:50, More)
3/4
Tenuous link to house party theme, but we were teenagers (19) and it did start as an innocent enough Uni house party:
Then 4 of us decided to go to VodBull in the Birmingham Academy. We'll call them mates #1, #2 and #3 to protect the innocent.
We get there and each consume an equal amount (?8 doubles) of vodka.
Story of Mate #1:
I'm called outside by security guards to find mate #1 leaning against the wall, vomiting. He's being consoled by two members of the homeless community. Well, one's consoling, one's stealing his wallet.
I spirit him back to his gaff in a taxi with ALL windows wound FULLY down and him sticking his head out one vomiting. Put him to bed, as he settles the phone at the end of his be rings. Who could this be?
Story of Mate #2:
"Hello there, this is Officer X of the West Midlands Police. Do you know a [name of Mate #2]"
"Er, yes"
"We've found him slumped on the ring road [very busy road in Birmingham] near Snobs nightclub"
"Oh ok, shall I come and get him"
"yes please"
[those of you who know Birmingham will know it's a long way from the Academy to Snobs when you can't walk]
I engage the same taxi driver to return to town . Find Officer X and mate #2 in a doorway, crying his eyes out. Cajole him into taxi, journey proceeds as with mate #1. return him to his bed. He confesses on the way that he accused officer X of stealing his phone, and, when it was returned, throwing the phone across the ring road: "didn't want it anyway"
Return to the academy (why the hell not?) and stand at the bar idly wondering about mate #3
Story of Mate #3:
When, out of the corner of my eye, I spot mild-mannered, bookish mate #3 snogging a girl. "Oh, I didn't realise mate #3's GF was here" thinks I.
[bear in mind mate#3 and his gf were, and still are, THE REAL THING. They were and are very much in love. They are ever faithul to one another]
The snogging couple turn around. It is immediatley clear that the snogee is not mate#3's gf of 2 years, but some entirely random female.
To this day, the GF in question has no idea of the events that transpired.
Sequel #1: The next day, a colleague in the lab tells of seeing a bloke fitting the discription of mate #2 weaving his way over the ASTON EXPRESSWAY.
Sequel #2: The next day, mate #2 is shopping for a new phone. Who should he run into but officer X? Oh how they laughed.
Apols for length and tenuous link to original question.
(Tue 18th Apr 2006, 23:50, More)
» Mugged
Barcelona II
Funny you should mention the barcelona underground system.
Was interrailing with 5 mates & ended up in Barcelona underground. They're all sitting down while I'm holding onto the bars near the doors. A young man on my left (with a plaster cast on his arm - still not sure why) grabs my left arm in a joking way to steady himself because the train is swaying so much.
As the train is barely swaying at all, I thought it was a bit strange. Then I feel something about my right hip and an older man is using a newspaper as cover for pickpocketing me!
Having never been pickpocketed before, I was unsure of the ettiquite, so I said firmly (in English) "could you please take your hand out of my pocket?"
He seemed to get the message and they both got out at the next stop. I hasten to add that I am very much of the 'take what you want and don't hurt me' school of thought, and I still have no idea what possessed me to confront this guy.
I think it was the fact I was bewildered by the most amateur pickpocketing attempt ever! I could easily feel his hand, ffs!
(btw he wouldn't have found much any way as we were down to our last couple of pesos and I (like every good interrailer) had all me valuables in a sweaty pocket next to my belly!)
Agreed though, Baracelona is a beautiful place and beautiful women do tend to walk on the beach sans tops, which, when you're seventeen, well...you can imagine.
(Fri 16th Jun 2006, 0:39, More)
Barcelona II
Funny you should mention the barcelona underground system.
Was interrailing with 5 mates & ended up in Barcelona underground. They're all sitting down while I'm holding onto the bars near the doors. A young man on my left (with a plaster cast on his arm - still not sure why) grabs my left arm in a joking way to steady himself because the train is swaying so much.
As the train is barely swaying at all, I thought it was a bit strange. Then I feel something about my right hip and an older man is using a newspaper as cover for pickpocketing me!
Having never been pickpocketed before, I was unsure of the ettiquite, so I said firmly (in English) "could you please take your hand out of my pocket?"
He seemed to get the message and they both got out at the next stop. I hasten to add that I am very much of the 'take what you want and don't hurt me' school of thought, and I still have no idea what possessed me to confront this guy.
I think it was the fact I was bewildered by the most amateur pickpocketing attempt ever! I could easily feel his hand, ffs!
(btw he wouldn't have found much any way as we were down to our last couple of pesos and I (like every good interrailer) had all me valuables in a sweaty pocket next to my belly!)
Agreed though, Baracelona is a beautiful place and beautiful women do tend to walk on the beach sans tops, which, when you're seventeen, well...you can imagine.
(Fri 16th Jun 2006, 0:39, More)
» Rock and Roll Stories
Moby - not really rock and roll!
This isn't that interesting a story but...me and some mates are on our way to see Moby in Birmingham. Walking to McD's for a bit of sustenance first (up the ramp) when a feller walking down the ramp whacks my friend over the back of the head with his umbrella.
He hits her so hard that the umbrella handle BREAKS OFF and is tangled in her hair!
I have never wanted to beat someone up so much in all my generally pacifistic days. He runs off so all I can do is yell 'CNUT!!!' at him at the top of my voice. We make it to the gig and sort of enjoy it - not my best Moby gig (the best one being at the Red Box in Dublin, 1999, as he was on the crest of fame - front row, feeling pretty good)
(Tue 4th Jul 2006, 0:10, More)
Moby - not really rock and roll!
This isn't that interesting a story but...me and some mates are on our way to see Moby in Birmingham. Walking to McD's for a bit of sustenance first (up the ramp) when a feller walking down the ramp whacks my friend over the back of the head with his umbrella.
He hits her so hard that the umbrella handle BREAKS OFF and is tangled in her hair!
I have never wanted to beat someone up so much in all my generally pacifistic days. He runs off so all I can do is yell 'CNUT!!!' at him at the top of my voice. We make it to the gig and sort of enjoy it - not my best Moby gig (the best one being at the Red Box in Dublin, 1999, as he was on the crest of fame - front row, feeling pretty good)
(Tue 4th Jul 2006, 0:10, More)