» Messing with the Dark Side

A Halloween remembered
1974 and its Halloween in a small village in the Cotswolds, the moons up and the stars are out. An intrepid gang of 12 year olds are in the kitchen planning a trip across the fields to visit the graveyard of the local church in search of the supernatural. Mischievous father is ear wigging. Armed only with the latest Pifco torches and the compasses in the soles of their Clarks Commandos, the gang set off in to the dark in search of adventure. Mischievous father meantime grabs bed sheet and heads round the road way to the Church. As the lights of the gangs torches approach he leaps over wall of graveyard covered in the bed sheet and making appropriate wooing noises.

I have never been so scared before or since.
(Tue 25th Apr 2006, 11:21, More)

» Mistaken Identity

American Idle ...
It seems I bear a passing resemblance to winner of American Idol from a couple of years ago, Taylor Hicks (Old, overweight, grey, stupid).

It was mentioned by a couple of sad arses who were watching it over here at the time. This in itself was not a problem until I was in the states on holiday a short time after. I first noticed something was wrong when people started shouting 'Soul Patrol' at me in the street. After telling the 100th person "no, I just look a bit like him. No, honestly I am not him. No, I can't sing that for you. No, I can't sign your book/receipt/tits. No, just f*%£ off you stupid c*^+" I was ready to crack. Will the Americans ever learn to take no for an answer ?

....and then of course I realised the potential. Two weeks later, after many free drinks, tit signing, grapples with yankee ladies and general misbehaviour it was time to head back to blighty.

God bless America ! God bless stupid Americans !


(Apologies to all non-stupid Americans)
(Wed 6th Jun 2007, 14:58, More)