b3ta.com user sailorspoon
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Profile for sailorspoon:
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I'm made of bacon!

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» Customers from Hell

Grumpy old man
Before I sacrificied looking beautiful for looking more masculine via getting rid of my shoulder length hair I had to wear it in a pony tail at my oh so interesting job at a supermarket.

Now sometimes the obvious gender mistake would be made by a customer but I wasn't too fussed by it and neither were the customers. Except one;

To set the scene I was kneeling on the floor tidying the blocks of cheese when I hear an elderly man speak to me;
"Excuse me sweetheart, where is the cream?". Now I couldn't help but be amused by being called sweetheart and was probably cheekily smiling when I got up.
"Are you a man?" He questioned, his tone slightly aggravated.
I replied with a simple "yes" to be snapped back at with "You bloody fool! Get your hair cut!"
(in hindsight I should have replied no and acted offended)
I simply countered that I was getting my hair cut in a few days (which I actually was) and pointed him to the cream which was no more than 3 feet away from him.
Humourless old bugger.
(Thu 4th Sep 2008, 18:29, More)

» Body Mods

Mum paid for my first one
Yeah she bought me a pair of those trainers that light up, it was like having my own neon under-lighting... of course I should have realised it was a mistake getting them when I was 14.

My second body mod was when some pikey chav kids beat me up for having the trainers of a six year-old, painted me bright yellow and nailed a plank of wood to my back as a 'spoiler'.

I now have alloy wheels and I'm saving up for a bangin' sound system.
(Sat 2nd Dec 2006, 20:53, More)

» B3TA fixes the world

The legal right
to push any cyclist (aged 11+ or not accompanying such) who sounds their bell at people whilst on the pavement, into traffic. If there's a cycle lane they should have been using, you're allowed to then spit/urinate on their mangled body.

And for christ's sake, if you've got a group of children with you on bikes, scooters, skates etc. form a single-file line! Then nobody has to jump into a bush to avoiding being crushed by your clan.
(Thu 22nd Sep 2011, 17:00, More)

» The B3TA Detective Agency

Fucking magnets
how do they work?
(Fri 14th Oct 2011, 16:28, More)

» First World Problems

How exactly is you having no self control technology's fault?
this article: www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-17226643

Which is, in summary:
"Wah wah, I went somewhere really nice, but ignored it completely just because I had an internet connection."

"All the poor people of the world are getting internet, ruining my holiday!"
(Mon 5th Mar 2012, 0:41, More)
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