b3ta.com user lestergunn
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» Pathological Liars

Walking down the corridor of my old secondary school I overheard this conversation. This was the day after Back To Teh Future II was aired on TV.

Boy 1: I've got a hover-board.
Boy 2: You can't have.
B1: Erm...
B2: As you can only get them in America.
B1: My brother got it for me on import.

Another thorny issue satisfactorily tackled.
(Sun 2nd Dec 2007, 22:06, More)

» Winning


I’ve won loads of stuff.

I won a signed photo of everyone's favourite breathing Beatle, Ringo. At bingo.

I also won a waffle in a raffle.

And some pottery (in a lottery).

I won a biography of Godsmack guitarist Tony Rombola in a phoney tombola.

A reed for bassoon in the Egg & Spoon.

But lost it all on Spot the Ball.

And I’ve never won anything for my poetry.
(Fri 29th Apr 2011, 12:36, More)

» Shoplifting

Caught in the Acts
'A' Levels, little over a decade ago. Woke up behind the sofa. The last thing I remember was mixing JD with vodka, having run out of coke. As the mental haze lifted, I noticed a few trinkets and bibelots floating around the room. A decorated stick here, a gold (of colour, not the precious metal) plate there. A framed picture of a dozen white haired ladies touting both sweet and savoury preserves. A couple of candlesticks. Some dusty old books and a wooden box decorated with thick cord tassles. I'd broken into a Church.

Having re-read my post I now realise that this wasn't some humourous jolly but a proper criminal act. What next for QOTW, Your top 3 rapes?

God, if you're reading this (as many believe you do), I am very very sorry.
(Sat 12th Jan 2008, 12:18, More)

» Irrational Hatred

Say what you like about Hitler...
...he killed a lot of Jews.
(Sat 2nd Apr 2011, 0:36, More)

» Thrown away: The stuff you loved and lost.

Star Wars figures
I'm seeing a theme. Having moved to Cornwall as a child, my mother befriended some tramps and rather nonchalantly informed me that she'd given all my well maintained Star Wars collection to the dole-bludging family. X-Wing, Millenium Falcon, At-At, Rancor Monster, Jabba and his warty plinth (with the most salacious Crumb), about 40 figures and a few more odds and sods. Oh, and the out of production 7" of Sex Pistols God Save the Queen amongst a stack of other vinyl that had once belonged to my father. And is now in the possession of the tramps.
(Fri 15th Aug 2008, 16:10, More)
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