b3ta.com user the_spoon
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» Evil Pranks

So I'm in a Newquay caravan
with some mates just after first year of 6th form.

Wake up one morning, terrible hangover and surrounded by chaos from, night before.
Somewhat bewildered I look around at the trashed caravan and realise there is a strange ringing in my ears. 5 minutes of intense hungover concentration later and I realise why:

The bastards have duck-taped headphones into my ears and put MC Hammer- Cant touch this, on repeat...

It was still playing too, have strange memories whenever I hear that song now
(Sun 16th Dec 2007, 13:13, More)

» Restaurants, Kitchens and Bars... Oh my!

Oo another one,
my mate told me this about another pub.
All the staff suddenly began getting really bad sunburn and a few ended up in hospital. The pub was closed for 3 weeks before they worked out why.
The fly zapper (you know that thing with the blue light that kills insects) had been repaired recently, but for some reason the bloke had decided to replace the original light with a UV lamp from a sun bed...youch

*insert length joke*
(Tue 25th Jul 2006, 23:01, More)

» Restaurants, Kitchens and Bars... Oh my!

First Post!
Ive got loads of mildly interesting kitchen stories from working in my local pub, my favourite being the long and animated argument I had with my chefs and bosses that you couldn’t catch aids from camels, even if they are “dirty and spit” (they still don’t believe me)
Oo also just this week 2 polish people came to work with me. Trying to impress them with my worldly knowledge I text my mate to ask her for some polish phrases, unfortunately her reply was “er dunno, ‘magicky’ means ‘gay’ in Russian” which didn’t have quite the required affect. However one of them was very amused by the oddly shaped rolling pin and mimed fwapping with it while giggle insanely.

Its my first time so im sure length is the least of your worries
(Tue 25th Jul 2006, 22:52, More)

» Redundant technology

not that old really
when i stay at my parents house i still use the cassette player i got for christmas when i was a young'un to listen to old tapes of stuff like hitchhikers guide, lord of the rings, isihac etc, while i fall to sleep.
i have mp3s of most of them now, but it's not the same without the low hum of the cassette playing.
(Fri 5th Nov 2010, 18:00, More)

» Get Rich Quick

Simple but effective
Put cider in a whiskey bottle (in the dark they look similar enough) then wander round a campsite betting people you can down the bottle.

Tried and tested in Newquay and will easily pay for the next bottle.
(Mon 4th Aug 2008, 13:06, More)
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