b3ta.com user jiva
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Profile for jiva:
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you asked for it:

I also met the love of my life on b3ta, its a beautiful and wonderful place!

Recent front page messages:

and you'd like a loan?

(Tue 31st Aug 2004, 22:52, More)


(Sun 28th Dec 2003, 21:39, More)


(Fri 29th Aug 2003, 15:12, More)

(Sat 26th Jul 2003, 18:02, More)

they love getting in to trouble

make em in to weapons testers.
(Fri 25th Jul 2003, 14:39, More)

never go out on a stag night with a bunch of gay hair dressers.

(Tue 22nd Jul 2003, 19:28, More)

get your beeker leeks here!

(Tue 15th Jul 2003, 17:32, More)


I wont be going back in to our bathroom in a hurry after seeing that.
(Sun 15th Jun 2003, 10:58, More)

his experement was working.....

(Mon 26th May 2003, 11:25, More)

I'd thought I'd ask the wig itself what it does when it has time off....

(Sat 24th May 2003, 13:12, More)


not realy shure if this worked.....
(Mon 19th May 2003, 23:16, More)

oh hello pretty! oh arn't you a nice iccle kitten.......... aaaahhhhhhhhhhhh

FUCK ME! he nearly had me hand off!
(Sun 18th May 2003, 18:01, More)

dave was confused....

(Sun 11th May 2003, 15:43, More)


(Sat 26th Apr 2003, 2:12, More)

they are still in training but hope to perform

at this years norfolk show.
(Tue 22nd Apr 2003, 21:57, More)

quick he's getting away!

(Sun 13th Apr 2003, 17:14, More)

(Wed 19th Mar 2003, 23:49, More)

play with me!

(Tue 18th Mar 2003, 21:19, More)

they never did fit quite right

(Wed 22nd Jan 2003, 14:34, More)

I've been lurking again

(Wed 22nd Jan 2003, 0:17, More)

you have to be realy careful picking these little buggers

(Mon 30th Dec 2002, 12:15, More)

*jingle bells jingle bells...*

(Mon 23rd Dec 2002, 11:36, More)

(Sat 7th Dec 2002, 15:04, More)

I just can't resist manking it all nice and fluffy

(Tue 3rd Dec 2002, 21:08, More)

probably the last tonight

(Tue 26th Nov 2002, 21:58, More)

I love my garden.

(Tue 26th Nov 2002, 21:47, More)

how rare!

(Tue 19th Nov 2002, 22:16, More)

Mrs Bear on washing day

(Tue 12th Nov 2002, 21:53, More)

just don't ask him to open his mouth.....

(Fri 8th Nov 2002, 11:15, More)

I managed to potatochop and post on my crapy home connection! not long till broadband. CANT WAIT CANT WAIT!

(Wed 6th Nov 2002, 21:20, More)

morning all
all a'rite then?

(Sun 20th Oct 2002, 9:22, More)

I look behind me and they were following....

(Fri 18th Oct 2002, 10:55, More)

well he is more prepared than I am

he's just licking his stamp.
and please don't be nasty because I mentioned *christmas*
(Thu 17th Oct 2002, 13:30, More)

looks like I will need to clean the sink again.

(Wed 9th Oct 2002, 21:41, More)


(Tue 8th Oct 2002, 21:16, More)

oh and seen as I poped in with a post, I will pop straight back out with one. coat please
meet Doris, she's waiting for her date.

(Sat 5th Oct 2002, 0:06, More)

Fred found out that if he held his breath
he could see in lots of different colours....

(Thu 3rd Oct 2002, 14:05, More)

well it's obvious isn't it?

(Sat 21st Sep 2002, 19:24, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Scary Neighbours

I live in a council block of flats
I know that at the end of our road one person was found dead due to an overdose. He was in the shed, his friends did not know where else to store him.
A long time back just after I moved in an upstairs neighbour stabbed his son in the leg with a fork. The son was seen pegging it across the other side of the road with just a blanket and his boxer shorts with the fork still in his leg. They used to throw used needles over their balcony. They left not long after.
Finally we have the old guy at the end of our block who used to be a prison warden. He struts down the street with his keys on a chain, topless and shouts at people. Thing is he's got a girl living with him he calls his "grand daughter" he must be 80 odd and she's just over 18 by now. We often hear them screaming down the street including jems like "i'm never giving you a blow job again you smelly old fucking bastard" I've also seen her parked up in a taxi paying for her ride with a blowjob before heading home. Council flats are classy.
(Wed 31st Aug 2005, 15:52, More)

» Happy 10th Birthday B3ta

Woo yay hoopla!
Well, I joined 9 years and one month ago. I think I found this through my brother working with nicey from a nicecupofteaandasitdown.com met, munkt0n on here, I hand sewed a fear doll and gave it to spacefish. The original creator of the fear. I took hand puppet shark and badger to our first bash in the time badger badger was new and the shark helicopter were new. Munk0n spawned 4rthur which did not survive. We moved in together and have seen jh4c and jeffna get married. Got married ourselves and seen bats girl marry evistevie too. I have never seen a place spawn so much happy.
(Mon 12th Sep 2011, 20:25, More)

» Guilty Pleasures

I noticed when my boyf went a way for a long weekend I had the house to myself. I figured no point in moping I'll just enjoy myself.It was the long bath with a magazine with chocolate followed by clean sheets in bed and spreading out over the whole bed. eating when I wanted, sleeping when I wanted, watching what I wanted on the telly and generally not cooking or cleaning or doing anything I didnt want to. It was fun, until I missed him but he came back. Now I know I can do all these things when he is here but I dont know why I dont. I think its cos I respect him and love him very much.
oh and thanks b3ta if it wernt for you we'd not have met.
(Mon 11th Apr 2005, 16:04, More)

» Best Comebacks

I love put downs
someone was rude to me over the phone so I replied.
I'm afraid I dont have enough time in my life to deal with fuckwits like you. you're a waste of time space and my breath. And if you dont get ----- sorted out now I'll be on to your manager and I can guarantee I will get you fired by the end of the day.
It got all my car insurance paid off when I wrote my car off.....
(Thu 29th Apr 2004, 15:12, More)

» Dad Jokes

my dad
is an ex teacher so the regular
*you'll have someones eye out with that*
*stop crying or I give you something to cry for* are old favourites.
(Fri 12th Dec 2003, 13:26, More)
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