» Road Rage

L plate rage
This happened to me about a year ago, on the mean streets of Bristol....

I was driving to work on my usual route, when i come to a normal roundabout which some people have a few 'issues' with. Basically its a two lane approach with left only and right only lanes. Easy enough for those in the know. However the problem occurs because the right only lane exits the roundabout onto a bit of dual carriageway, and its also the busiest lane. This means jumped up BMW drivers regularly skip down the left turn only lane but turning right.

I am pretty much used to all bristol drivers being twunts, so tend to just go along without a problem. Anyway, this day im in right hand lane, i turn right on the rounabout and start to move into the left lane of the dual carriageway. Cue someone who tried the skippy route beeping and flashing that i had cut him up. He then proceeds to pull out, bomb past me at speed to where the dual carriageway becomes 1 again and stops dead.

uh-oh. Out steps a mid 40's balding man, and i suddenly twig - a driving instructor. gobsmacked i was. But im a lover not a fighter, so i didnt get out. He proceeds to give me a volley through my windo about how i cut him up, nearly caused an accident, hes calling the police etc etc. I, quite calmly i thought, say to the chap 'excuse me mate, but i think as an instructor you should know what the markings on a road mean, or do you want me to ring them *points at MASSIVE number on back of car for lessons* and tell them about your lack of knowledge'.

He sulked off in his car. I then passed him about 50 metres down the road parked by a shop. what a right pillock.

I would say long time reader first time poster, but im not and it isnt. So check the girth.

p.s. i often wondered how people got the stories so long, well i just went on for ages without much of a point. yay me.
(Tue 17th Oct 2006, 15:43, More)

» This book changed my life

The book of Dave
did honestly make me look at my impact on life/the planet. It genuinly made me think what WOULD life be like in a few thousand years?

Also, Interesting Times by terry Pratchett. I know it is clichéd but it was my first discworld novel, and still my favourite. It showed me sci-fi/fantasy could be about the lolz.
(Fri 16th May 2008, 11:10, More)

» Cross Dressing

Sort of Hijack....
In response to Bulldog Ugly 'you'll never have more of a laff.'

Please take in to consideration i have seen a blind man walk into a lamp post. Actually properly walk into it, arms either side. i felt like i was going straight to hell for laughing so much. He was okay though, so no worries.

On the subject, I was pretty 'famous' in our household for wearing my mums shoes (im a chap) and lippy and all that gubbins. I must add that this was as a youngster, im not still doing it now..... honest.

Anyway, so i used to dress up in this garb, but some twunt once got a photo. That does the rounds when the laydeez pop in to meet the family - 'look at him, in those heels, what was he thinking.' I think that is the ONLY photo of me as a child that makes me cringe.
(Thu 15th Mar 2007, 16:57, More)

» Mad Stuff You've Done To Get Someone To Sleep With You

Citadels poem....
Is nobody going to comment on that? I mean, have i missed a really big joke in it? I couldnt see any hidden swears or anything.
(Wed 18th Apr 2007, 12:47, More)

» Going Too Far

Its like the racist thread
all over again :S

I thought this section was meant for the question entries only? (i see the irony in me putting this here, but I dont even have a story to add or an amusing anecdote about me travelling somewhere unintentionally).

Sorry.
(Fri 17th Nov 2006, 12:18, More)