b3ta.com user pseudomonkey
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» Housemates from hell

Not his only effot but the one worth mentioning the most.
My old flatmate was a right tight bastard. Being a student, we all were but he took it to extremes. It wasn't uncommon to go into the kitchen of a morning and find that he had washed his used condoms and left them in the dish drainer to dry overnight.
(Thu 12th Apr 2007, 1:44, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

This little gem is seen all around trains in Sydney
tinyurl.com/37yql2

Cracks me up every time.
(Fri 4th May 2007, 4:07, More)

» Schadenfreude

How a boy earned the nickname Queef
Strolling between classes at school one day a lad who felt himself a lot cooler than he was deemed by his peers (not me, I'm a straight up dork) farted as he reached the top of a nice big flight of stairs. This was amongst a fair crowd of people so he got a fair number of peoples attention with this. His downfall was to then fall over backwards down the stairs just as he did this.

The noise, combined with the sure knowledge that the propulsion from a botty burp would not allow you to fall backwards led to the obvious conclusion, it must have come from his front bum. Queef was forever tarred with his name from that point. I even bumped into him at the shops a couple of months back and stopped to say hi. Had to call him Queef the whole time because after 15 years I can't remember his name but I sure remember that.
(Tue 22nd Dec 2009, 8:26, More)

» My Arch-nemesis

My arch nemesis
It has to be the QOTW. Every second week, about 5 min after it closes I remember an awesome story that would have won if only it was posted. Instead I sit there and read through as much as I can, lol'ing and thinking to myself "wouldn't it just be super if I could post a story that didn't suck"

Now if you'll excuse me it's time I put my pants on the outside of my tights and run around the room with a cape on.
(Sat 1st May 2010, 17:19, More)

» Rubbish Towns

I live in Sydney
Up until somewhat recently I lived in one of the more dodgy areas, in fact I used to live on the street that had this happen. Never once did I truely feel unsafe (there were quite a number of dodgy people around but just stepping up and saying "You don't really want my wallet" was enough to get them to back down). I also grew up around where this took place

Now I've moved with the little woman to a nice suburban flat (suburb is called Ashfield), lots of great neighbours and a decent way from the city, that turns out is a hotbed for police activity. As I write this there are police officers in the hallway trying to bash down the door on the appartment above me because the guy up there has a habbit of smacking his wife around a little more than she likes (after last weeks QOTW I've downgraded that from a 'lot more'). I've been warned by police *in my security locked building* to not wander around as much with my black gear on with my hat pulled down (I've not got much style so that is what I look like) as it makes them think I'm up to no good. 3 different appartments have been broken into with no apparent entry method, the current theory is that someone has a master key.

So this current place I'm in is a lot worse as far as everything goes. It's got a lovely veneer of safe and nice going on but as it turns out is a whole lot worse than areas that get there own wikipedia pages due to riots and large amounts of hard core violence.

No funnies here for you, there isn't much funny about smacking a chick around who isn't into that sort of stuff. I just wish it I could move back to the safe violent areas of town tonight to make it easier to sleep.
(Fri 30th Oct 2009, 9:57, More)
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