» The worst sex I ever had

He really was a lovely guy
For three months last year I was going out with a lovely Chinese guy. He was quirky and funny in a broken english sweet way.

For the longest time i would tell myself that the sex, with the tiniest penis I have ever seen was just "different" but in reality it was actually just Bad.

Irony alert - the gentleman in question - his name was Long
(Sun 17th Jun 2007, 21:00, More)

» Hypocrisy

I could go on about this all day and night for a year
I won't though. My message is simple.

If you think people that work in fast food are stupid, or unwashed, or the scum of the earth, and you simply cannot keep that contempt inside, then the solution is simple - Do Not Buy Fast Food.

Do Not come into my workplace, and treat my staff, or myself with disrespect and rudness.
Make your own fucking pizza.
(Mon 23rd Feb 2009, 10:13, More)

» Cringe!

Oh dear god
I can remember that my parents have embarrassed me to death on a billion occasions but damned if I could think of an example. Until just now.

My dad was a teacher and worked with young people, from 15 to 25 years. Somehow, he caught worms from one of his students.

So mum, dad and I all take a worming tablet, yay combantrin, no more worms. I don't think of it again.

Until the next day. Like many 16 year olds I had a high school sweetheart. He came over my house for video games or what ever teenagers did in the late nineties.

My mum, with all the tact and sublety of a brick, pops out brandishing worming tablets saying 'You're here everyday you have to take this right now!!!!'

My mum De-Wormed my boyfriend. Mortified.
(Tue 2nd Dec 2008, 9:13, More)

» When were you last really scared?

Tiny Pizza Girl
When i was 19 and a very scrawny wee girl, i had a part time job delivering pizza.
So one shift I got robbed on a delivery by two young men armed with a fence paling. That was pretty terrifying. They got 2 pizzas and AUD$54.
Went back to base shaking and in tears only to have my manager say "I hope you didnt give them the hot bag". What a toad.

But at least ive never been scared of anal rape as my robbers must have been when they were sentanced to 18 months jail.
(Fri 23rd Feb 2007, 5:33, More)

» Pubs

My only Pub Story
I had nipped out the front for a cigarette and I was standing minding my own business when to the right of me there was a bit of a kerfuffle.

A young gentleman had tipped his drink right in his lap and was now proceeding to remove his jeans.
He was wearing cowboy boots, which amused me greatly. As he passed me to go into the pub in his underpants and cowboy boots, I gave him a wink and a grin and said 'Nice boots mate'. He grinned back at me and said 'cheers!'

I turned to go back inside half a minute later, gave a nod to the bouncer, who said to me "did that just happen?" At that moment he realised that he'd let a man with no trousers into the pub, and hurried off to find him. They take dress codes very seriously in Invercargill.
(Tue 10th Feb 2009, 20:52, More)