» Mistaken Identity

Tallest man in britian
I remember when i was younger, i was knocking about with my best mate richard and his cousin neil just in the back street havin a kick about. Anway this particually day this bloke came to neil's house that mustve been about 7 foot tall, while where fannying about not from from him. I proclaimed to neil while winking at richard on the sly "Christ! i know him, he was on the telly last nite, its the tallest bloke in britain!" Neil bein neil ran in the door before him, grabbed a pen a bit of paper and says "excuse can i have your autograph please, ave never met the tallest bloke in britain before!" The bloke replied quite sheepishly " neither have i, ave came to check your electric meter!"
Was funnier at the time :P
(Thu 31st May 2007, 18:52, More)

» Bizarre habits

wires on show
just recently moved in with the furher, and she hates wires being on show. Phone charger wires, tv, pc, toaster etc..... drives me round the bend. So i bought a 25 metre ethernet cable from downstairs to upstairs instead of a wireless router.
That'll teach her!
(Thu 1st Jul 2010, 13:43, More)

» Council Cunts

South tyneside homes(cunts)
where to start? Stupid as i am, i moved in with then g/f bout last feb (she lived 30 miles away aswell). i wasnt registered living there until we thought it was right to, luckily for me i was never registered living there because the relationship went tits up last september. anyways, wen i came back to south tyneside, my sis had moved out of her flat and took my room, thinkin i'd be living down there for good. Ave been waitng since last september for a flat, put my name down for loads, and watchin other ppl get them. Am on the sick aswell, numerous appointments with the local homeless team, which is a piss take, i'd rather be sleepin on me mates setees then sleep in sum of the smack-rat infested b&b's i was offered like. Fuckin sick! :( still waiting....... never move in with a slut
(Fri 27th Jul 2007, 10:46, More)

» Mistaken Identity

andre agussi
When i was in hollywood in november 05, i was ova there with me mate and me da. anyways goes into a mcdonalds just near the chinese theater thing where the handprints are and me and me mate are sitting down 2 sum scran wen this little bloke walks upto me mate and asks "Excuse sir, are you Andre agussi?" i was rolling about the floor pissin myself laughin lol i'd get a pic of me mate on 2 show ya but i dunno how :(
(Sat 2nd Jun 2007, 17:57, More)

» Personal Hygiene

First day the lift opened
I live in south tyneside, and in doing so benefit greatly from the Metro service, not! lol anyways..

At this perticular metro station which was bout 2 secs away from my old house, it had lifts aswell as stairs from the bottom to the top.

The day before this the station opened, my mate or should i say someone i knew decided to get in the lift right at the end of the night and leave a lovely turd for the passengers in the morning to get a waft of lol.

I was up early myself for work the next day and obviously knew not to get the lift up, the faces of the people that did get the lift up where the funniest thing ive ever seen in my life, one women was wreching and being sick on the platform!

That'll teach people that decide not to use the stairs the lazy bastards! :)
(Wed 28th Mar 2007, 22:59, More)