b3ta.com user Bob the Scutter
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Profile for Bob the Scutter:
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Longtime lurker, regular browser, now registered I am an occasional poster. Londoner but living and working in Beijing as a scientist. Thats about it really.

If you like biology, palaeonbtology or any of the life sciences check out my website: www.askabiologist.org.uk

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Recent front page messages:


(Thu 19th Mar 2020, 18:38, More)

Best answers to questions:

» The Dark

No lights!
I live in Beijing where, rather coolly, they have sound activated lights in public places like stairwells, bike sheds and the like. As such I have become habituated to walking into a dark room and clapping my hands to turn on the lights.

This was fine until I was recently staying in a friend's house in Mexico. Taking a late night preambulation to drain off the excess tequila I stepped out into the pitch black hallway from my darkened room. I knew I had to negotiate the stairs so as I stepped forward I clapped my hands. You can see where this is heading, can't you?

From the bottom of the stairs I calculated that a) I should have clapped *before* I stepped and that b) this was irrelevant as I was on the wrong continent for this to work.

Length? Only about 4 feet, but made of granite.
(Fri 24th Jul 2009, 7:40, More)

» Accidental innuendo

Quite an offer...
I was in a market in beijing last night and several different girls asked me if I wanted to give my girlfriend a pearl necklace. Seemed like a good deal all round...
(Sun 15th Jun 2008, 4:50, More)

» Accidental innuendo

No, we're just friends
While in a nice country pub a couple of years back with a good mate, I ordered some traditional English meat-based fare for lunch. The two of us sat chatting and supping, when a waitress approached and asked: "Faggots?".

There was much spluttering and mirth.
(Mon 16th Jun 2008, 2:16, More)

» Cheap Tat

in Kenya for my torch.

Put them in, tuend it on, it went off.

2 seconds use, 10p.
(Fri 4th Jan 2008, 14:18, More)

» When Animals Attack

I got clawed by a tiger once. Really. But it was just a tiny 12 week old cub at London zoo, so I am not entirely sure it counts. Bloody hurt though, they might be cute and fluffy but have evil claws even at that stage that go through thick trousers and skin too.

Humerously it then bit my friend and she had to have a tetanus shot in the arse as a result, so all was well ;-)
(Sat 26th Apr 2008, 10:42, More)
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