b3ta.com user WholeGrain
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Failed lurker.

I could survive for 1 minute, 54 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

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Best answers to questions:

» False Economies

Missing Buttons
I bought a low cost typing thing for my pc but, not long from when I bought it, a vital button was faulty and did not work.It is a bit of a pain not having a working button by W and R as it is vital for many common words.

Omitting that button in my writing is hard and it is as if I am talking funny (though I do not).

Moral - Do not by a low cost typing thingy for your PC.
(Tue 24th Jun 2014, 13:58, More)

» The best thing I've built

Student project
Not me but one of my students who decided to make a rugby training aid for a technology project.

All went well with the small scale tests which sent ping pong balls scurrying around the classroom. Then he ramped it up to full size and used a car starter motor to launch a full size rugby ball...

..Straight through the classroom wall!
(Tue 16th Oct 2012, 12:08, More)

» Corporate Idiocy

Infallable Broadband
I used to have my broadband supplied by a supplier with the initials TB (Though not necessarily in that order).

All was fine until my broadband speed became so slow as to be unusable. No problem I thought, I'll just ring their helpline and get it all sorted out in a jif...

One long wait later I finally get through to someone who confirms my router is switched on and plugged then informs me that they've run a test and my line is fine.

My broadband is still running at dial up speeds so I ask if I can lot a call and get an engineer out.

Here's where it gets daft because the guy in the line informs me that they estimate my line should get a speed of 3MB and their policy is that I can't log a fault unless it is slower than 20% of that speed. Mine is just slightly faster than that at the moment so sorry, no fault call.

I point out that I live 200 feet from the exchange so a) their estimate must be wrong and b) there's clearly something wrong for it to run this slow.

The agent won't budge though so I ask to escalate the problem. After another long wait and going through exactly the same routine again I was on the point of giving up.

I don't know whether the guy was as frustrated as me with their stupid rules or just felt sorry for me but he decided to help.

"Phone back and say your phone line is intermittantly crackly" he said.

"Come again?"

"Report a crackly phone. They'll have to come and sort it out. It'll sort out your broadband problem at the same time."

It worked too.

There are ways round the red tape, you just have to find them.

Apologies for the length but anything to do with TB always goes on forever.
(Fri 24th Feb 2012, 23:25, More)

» I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

They say the secret of comedy is timing...
Which probably explains why my audiences keep looking at their watches.
(Thu 6th Sep 2018, 21:01, More)

» Home Science

Scientific Karma
I've always been into electronics and, back when I was at college, decided it would be a good idea to play a little trick on one of my teachers.

The premise simple, wire a light sensitive resistor across a the mains, cover with curtain, switch on and wait. Needless to say the teacher nearly wet himself when he pulled back the curtains and was greeted by a loud bang much to the amusement the classfull of students.

Now we come to the Karma part. Many years later I'm working as a teacher and, just as I walk into a classroom with my head of department, the projector bulb decides to explode just above my head.

They've never let me forget the girly scream I gave as I leapt into the air. In a way, I suppose it is sort of karmic justice.
(Fri 10th Aug 2012, 13:48, More)
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