» Shoplifting

Cheating the vending machine
At work, we have a few vending machines. I normally wait until Monday, and watch an old women fill it up with food. 99% of the time, she neglects to fasten the door properly. Last week, me and a couple of other lads went straight in and literally emptied it. Yay, one weeks worth of free food. Cue one sneaky pikey bastard fucker emptying the contents of its money box into a sock.

A camera went up the next day.

Free food no more.

Cunt.
(Thu 10th Jan 2008, 18:00, More)

» Your first cigarette

First time...
I was on a German train in France, which broke down...

That was my first Zug Arrete.
(Thu 27th Mar 2008, 12:51, More)

» Schadenfreude

Snow Bloke
Last night I was driving along on my merry little way, rather slowly admittedly, when out of nowhere a suited man (briefcase, hat and the lot) slipped and ended up arse over tit, covered in snow and his briefcase some way away from him.

Instead of being a decent citizen and stopping, asking if he was okay, I pipped my horn, wound down the window and shouted "Enjoy your trip, mate?".

He looked at me from the floor, like a lost puppy.
(Fri 18th Dec 2009, 18:04, More)

» Political Correctness Gone Mad

Sainsburys
I work at sainsburys, stacking shelves (yes, i know i need a better job). my official job title is "replenishment assistant". that's shelf stacker/monkey to anybody normal.

also, they insist on calling shelves "gondolas", and the customer service desk is now the "information point".

like, wtf?
(Fri 23rd Nov 2007, 1:26, More)