b3ta.com user Captain Dispensible
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» The most childish thing you've done as an adult

Not me, but my dad ....
.. my mum had joined a company and very quickly got a couple of (deserved) promotions.

Her boss and his wife were coming to dinner .... they arrived early, and my dad was still in the bath ... our house had a through lounge/dining room with the stairs off one side with an upper landing with rooms off the other 3 walls. Upshot being the bathroom was near enough directly above a part of the lounge.

Mum's handing out the g&ts, doing the full Hyacinth Bucket bit.

Then there was a (very) loud noise of an underwater bath-fart, followed by my dad shouting 'TORPEDO LOS!'

That was probably 30 years ago, and it still reduces my brother and me to tears every time we remember it ...
(Wed 23rd Sep 2009, 14:41, More)

» Cars

4 wheels move the body. 2 wheels move the soul.

That is all.
(Fri 23rd Apr 2010, 12:09, More)

» Winning

Not me, but I know a man who did ....
In Vegas a couple of years ago and me and my Father in Law were walking through the Venetian which he needed to stop for a breather. Put $1 in a slot. won $900.


Next day we were leaving, so wanted to kill some time before leaving for airport. I lend him $10, $5 of which he puts in a slot. Nada. Next slot also gets his (my) remaining $5. Machine mongs out. Starts playing 'You're in the money' ... $3000. Cart and 2 operatives turn up, and he has all sorts of stuff to fill in - basically he had to get an IRS number to be able to claim the money, thought we were going to be too late for the plane. After we're done, Floorwalker resets the slot, and asks us to play a single spin he'd put on it as a credit as nobody would play a machine showing a win.

Father in Law taps 'Spin' as we walk away. Another $1000. Floorwalker/cashier with cart give us heavy side-eyes as neither had ever seen it happen.

Wouldn't let me take photos as not allowed (I got bollocking for the one above), but I shit you not ....
(Thu 28th Apr 2011, 17:54, More)

» Annoying words and phrases

(Thu 8th Apr 2010, 13:52, More)

» Mobile phone disasters

A while ago
I worked with 2 brothers, neither of whom was the sharpest tool in the box (the younger one came into the office one morning back in 1997 asking everybody how come Lionel Blair had been made PM.

Anyhoo. Older brother comes back from holiday in Dominican republic. He's showing us all his phone pics, and we're having a proper perv at his (fit) girlfriend. On this phone, you just scrolled to the next pic, and when he got to the last one, he tapped next, only to show us a picture of a suburban London back garden (clearly in the winter) with older and fitbint holding her rabbit.

Younger brother grabbed phone and looked at the next picture, which was a similar shot.

How the facking hell did you take Mr Tibbles* (or whatever the fucking thing was called) on holiday with you?
(Fri 31st Jul 2009, 15:53, More)
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