b3ta.com user Squishtastic
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V.2 coming soon

volume two: www.b3ta.com/board/9169458
(Sun 8th Feb 2009, 1:10, More)

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» Unexpected Nudity

I just remembered my first penis sighting!
In my 'omg I want to be a starving artist' days when I was 17 years young I signed up for a Life Drawing night class. Eager to learn to draw "life" I got to class with my fellow classmates (of all who were over 20 and I was the youngest) and took my place at the front on a big easel ready to draw what I thought would be a bowl of fruit.

Out comes a mid 20s nice looking guy. I think to myself, score.. cute student teacher? but then realised he was wearing a robe.. to which he took off when he stopped in the middle of the group posing.. and low and behold HI I'M MR PENIS... DRAW ME!
I couldn't draw for a good 10 minutes from sheer shock of the sudden nakedness and also at the shock that I didn't realise what Life drawing would entail. I didn't draw his nudie bits let alone look at them again. I drew his face spectualarly well. Shading and all. Extra details on his eyes. I refused to draw anything below his waist.

So yes, I took this class for a year and refused to draw men's manly bits for 6 months until I got over my fear of looking too hard. After that, I drew men naked quite alot :D

Still. Not the first time I wanted to see a man naked. In a large group like that. You just can't spring that on a girl like that.
(Mon 1st Jun 2009, 11:44, More)

» The Boss

I once worked for the RSPCA
My boss at the time was an uppity porky woman who did nothing around the RSPCA shelter and possibly decided that the only job she had to do was make my life hell.

The RSPCA has a million paws walk every year and it somehow became my job to fold all the millions of flipping advertisement pieces of shit paper. So there I sat, folding away happily and contemplating if it was still considered going postal if I tore into the office the next morning with an uzi, shot all the workers and set all the kitties free. Miss Bitchy Boss checked up on me constantly throughout the folding job and said diddly squat to me as she sipped her coffee.

I finished mid afternoon with sore hands and a strong desire to poison the office coffee. (note: I HATED that job. Hence the killing desires constant throughout my day)

In walks Miss Sagging-tits-can't-get-a-man-hated-me-because-I-was-younger.. she stops, looks at the thousands of folded and neatly piled phamphlets and says

"You folded them wrong. It's left over right. I hope you didn't fold them all this way"

All said before she laughed, flicked the phamphlet at me and walked off to sit on her fat ass. She had checked what I was doing atleast 6 times without saying a word on how I was folding them!

I held my composure. I was a patient girl even in my younger years. I knew that it was only a matter of time before Satan (a dog that I named Satan who even the RSPCA feared to put down) bit off the physco bitches face.

It was possibly me who was more physco thinking of millions of different ways to kill my boss but hey, women in general are physco bitches :D
(Sat 20th Jun 2009, 9:52, More)

» Impulse buys

I'm pretty much a shopaholic
If I see something I like I buy it.

I once bought $200 worth of Star Wars Lego (millennium Falcon!) then realised what I had done and simply gave it to my boyfriend at the time as a birthday present. It was a good cover up for my overspending.

I also can't help myself when it comes to anything to do with cupcakes. I bought a 36 cupcake holding cupcake courier.. and I don't even bake more than 12 cupcakes at a time. Let alone take them anywhere that would need a courier. Atleast it looks pretty :D
(Mon 25th May 2009, 5:51, More)

» I'm going to Hell...

Once upon a time...
I said the N word while telling a joke to my boyfriend. Yes that's the worst I could conjure up.

Other than that, I'm an unwed single Mother of two who had loads of premarital sex, stopped going to church, told a Jehovah's Witness where she could stick her magazines, done things a Catholic school girl should never have had done and have possibly sent a few men insane.

Much fun was had. The end.
(Fri 12th Dec 2008, 7:04, More)