b3ta.com user elless
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» Drugs

A friend of mine turns up at another friends house at 12 in the afternoon, wearing nothing but an oversize pair of tracksuit bottoms, covered in, and stinking of, shit.
He sheepishly enters my mates house along with a few others, and heads straight for the shower. Whilst he showers the story begins to emerge. He, along with the others, were at a party and had decided to drop a couple of tabs of acid. Upon being kicked out of the party and all a little worse for wear, they head for the local park where my friend begins to act decidedly strange. He begins by taking off all his clothes and running around naked. He then proceeds to stand and wank furiously, at one point looking straight into the eyes of a (black) friend, uttering the words 'BIG BLACK DICK' and wanking vigorously in his direction.
He then places himself in the middle of the playground roundabout and shrieks, 'MAISIE BOWEL MOVEMENT!'. Maisie Bowell was a girl at his school. He then proceeds to shit in a sock, and all over the roundabout.
After this has continued for some time, he disappears into the bushes and returns 3 hours later wearing a pair of tracksuit bottoms several sizes too big, still sporting a huge erection and absolutely stinking of shite.
Apparently whilst tripping he thought his friends were his 'oppressors', and to get them to 'leave him alone' he would have to do something really strange to freak them out, hence the shitting and wanking everywhere.

I couldn't look him in the face again, although strangely I still wished I had been there..
(Thu 16th Sep 2010, 23:54, More)

» Teenage Crushes - Part Two

Zelda, Ocarina of Time. When Link was suddenly all grown up and manly he was possibly the sexiest thing I had ever seen.
(Mon 9th Nov 2009, 0:54, More)

» Amazing displays of ignorance

My older sister
thought 'molestation' was pronounced 'mole-station.' A station for moles..
I still cannot believe this.
(Sun 21st Mar 2010, 1:53, More)

» Vomit Pt2

Bad ribena sick
When I were a littl'un I was being dragged around Woolworths by my mother. I felt a little queasy and realising I was about to hurl I grabbed the nearest thing, which happened to be a pic 'n' mix cup.
I sicked half a pint of ribena into it and then spent another 20 minutes trailing around the shop with my cup of sick because I didnt want to tell anyone.
(Fri 8th Jan 2010, 16:55, More)

» Amazing displays of ignorance

A friend of a friend
once said: 'Where is rehab?' Noting the looks on our faces, she then remarked, '..Isn't rehab a country?' The same girl also thought that being concussed meant you had lost your virginity.
(Thu 18th Mar 2010, 18:55, More)
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