» Devastating Put-Downs

Back when i was at school...
... our PE theory classroom was in the music department. (Makes sense!) To get to another room you had to walk through our room. Music for 6th formers was only taken by amazingly hot girls. The hottest girl in the school walks through and one lad, a proper knobber, shouts out "Here love, sit on my face".

As quick as a flash our rather cute female PE teacher asks him: "Why? is your nose bigger than your dick?"

She quickly gained our respect and called him dick-nose for the next three years.
(Mon 28th Nov 2011, 12:57, More)

» School Days

erm...
1) watchin in amazment as a new teacher ( big black dude from Togo) wrestled a kid to floor on his first day for running in the corridor.

2) same teacher then punching same kid in chest for not turning up to baketball training.

3) teacher gettin suspended for braking a window with a big wooden pole. It was actually one of us.

4) Graphics teacher tellin me a drawing table was indestrucatble. it turns out when you jump on it from a hight it isnt.

5) Mr O'Donohue ( girls favorite, but i fear he maybe a favorite for graham norton etc etc...) turning up in a tutu and white limo for children in need day then gettin sent home to change by head.

6) School bully, big old boy, never took of his leather jacket, ever...throwing an office chair at victrian style teacher. Never saw him again....
(Thu 29th Jan 2009, 13:22, More)

» Tactless

It was the week of my Grandma's funeral.....
...and i had traveled up by coach to Cromer to stay with my Grandad for a few days. I hadn't seen him for about 3 years as my parents had divorced over 20 years ago and we didn't see the Norfolk branch of them (father included, but thats for a another time) .The morning of the funeral came round and my Uncles had come round for breakfast and to get ready at grandads house. Being a keen amateur chef I decided that I would go of the shops and purchase what was needed for a full English. I returned and started to make the breakfast for my grieving grandfather and his sons.

As I plated up the bacon, sausage and hash browns i had forgot the eggs in the pan. I carefully put them on everybody's plate before announcing: " Sorry about the eggs, They look a bit cremated"

Queue me wanting the ground to swallow me up.

To then top it all off, shortly after the funeral as everybody is making there way from the crematorium to the wake i had asked the vicar rahter loudly, If he had a light for my cig. This time Queue angry glares from my father who I had not seen for nearly 15 years! Funnily enough, i haven't seen any of them since.
(Mon 7th Nov 2011, 11:19, More)

» Iffy crushes

as i clearly didnt read the subject properly last time....
after watching "Who do you think you are" last night, there was something sort of attractive about Tracey Emmin. Lovely legs and cute norks.

Id quite like to have a go on Mrs Incredible to. and possibly Sophie Raworth off the news.
(Thu 13th Oct 2011, 6:51, More)

» School Days

Also....school bus
School buses were fun. we got a public bus home from town so had time to nip to chippy first. bus drivers dont drive when you threw chips at them. also, massive fight on the bus was common. I remeber a local skank head gettin once and pissing on the seats. he then tried to steal the bus.
Oh...MR MELON! mr melon was the creepiest and slimiest little bastrd you would ever meet. Caught wankin in the cupboard was the rumor. he told us to stop smokin once... we all verbally abused him and then from then on we never got aany more maths homework.! funny that

not worth it really was it
(Thu 29th Jan 2009, 13:26, More)