b3ta.com user 4Q
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Recent front page messages:

Too big for the board!
(Mon 27th Jun 2011, 23:02, More)

I hope he doesn't sue...

(Thu 2nd Sep 2010, 12:08, More)

The World at War
That was a TV series, wasn't it?

Click for bigger (155 kb)

Ooh, front page, thanks - better get a paypal account so I can make a donation I suppose.
(Wed 23rd Sep 2009, 23:04, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Made me laugh

We're all in this together.

(Thu 6th Dec 2012, 20:20, More)

» Dodgy work ethics

For a few years, I was the graphic design department for a small printing company.
One of the more challenging jobs had a print run of exactly one.
I was required to make a copy of someone's 'phone bill with every instance of a particular number expunged.
I felt the moral implications of such a commission were the boss's problem since he accepted the job; he professed to be a religious man, I never have.
I enjoyed the challenge, the client's wife was none the wiser, the client's liaison remained undiscovered and the company got paid.
Everybody's happy.
(Fri 8th Jul 2011, 1:03, More)

» The Emergency Services

I used to do a bit of hunt-sabbing. I wasn't as dedicated as some, but I'd go whenever I had the time.
One day it was all getting rather physically expressive and the local village plod were having trouble maintaining order, so they called in some proper police from a different force based in a nearby city.
The divide between the yokel bobbies and the the townie force they called on was nearly as marked as the difference between the sabs and the hunters.
One of the redcoats was getting a bit aggy with one of our lot and turned his riding crop round so he could use the heavy handle as a weapon against him.
On seeing this, a city police stopped him and told him to get off his horse. A local bobby asked 'what are you doing? He's the master of the hunt'. 'I don't give a fuck', said the other cop, 'that constitutes an offensive weapon' and dragged the posh twat off his horse and nicked him.
(Thu 16th May 2013, 20:44, More)

» Surprise!

Hairy Tits!
A few years ago, I was with a new gf and we'd got naked together for the first time. It was cold, so we were making each others acquaintance under a lot of blankets. It was very dark under the blankets.
I put my mouth to her nipple and found that it was spectacularly hairy. Not just a few unkempt straggly hairs, although that would have been unpleasant enough, but really bushy. And kind of greasy, too.
I may have paused, just momentarily, but I managed to contain my surprise and carry on. Thoughts flashed through my traumatised mind, along the lines of 'I hope I don't puke. I don't want to upset her, it's not her fault. She has trusted me with the knowledge of this hideous burden, what kind of bastard would I be to reject her now?'.
I moved my head a little and all the nipple hair slid out of my mouth as though it had come to life.
That's when I realised that I'd been sensuously nibbling her nipple while using the end of one of my stinking dreadlocks as some kind of improvised protective barrier.
Of course, this all happened years ago when fucklocks were totally cool.
Length? Well I only had a few at the back of my head, but they were well over a foot long!
(Fri 5th Apr 2013, 23:25, More)

» I Hurt My Rude Bits, Again

Like most men, I spend a lot of time wondering whether a transscrotal piercing would suit me.
Naturally enough, I thought I'd try to recreate the look with the help of some neodymium magnets.
It looked alright, in a bolt-through-your-knackers kind of way, but quickly began to ache as the unrelenting pressure of the startlingly strong magnets continued to crush my nutsack.
After some unfocused and unsuccessful gouging as I tried to get some leverage with fingernails, it occurred to me to try using pliers to remove the magnets.
I waddled and winced my way round the house, managing to locate one set of pliers and one rusty old monkey wrench.
The pain was becoming quite worrying and between dizzy spells, I found myself wondering quite what I'd say if I ended up having to go to casualty.
After a couple of attempts where I managed to grip some skin along with rare earth metal, I finally got a good hold with the monkey wrench.
By now, there was a fair bit of blood so getting a decent grip on the other magnet with the pliers was far from easy but I did it and finally managed to extricate my pods.
The bleeding stopped within minutes and the swelling was almost gone after two or three days.
So if you’re ever wondering whether this piercing would suit you, now you know how to find out.
(Fri 8th Mar 2013, 21:41, More)
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