b3ta.com user injektilo
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I am a piano teacher. twiddle fingers.

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» Teenage Crushes - Part Two

wednesday addams
little miss ricci. I was about her age and wanted to give her a thorough smashing.

then, we both grew up, she became round, soft and jugged up to the nines. fucking BRILLIANT.

then, we both grew up some more, she went all calista flockhart, got a very shit tattoo plastered over her tit and now looks dirt. oh, NOW she wants to do all the nude scenes, *great*.

I have moved on to summer glau.
(Fri 6th Nov 2009, 14:08, More)

» Sexism

mirrors in boozehouse toilets
women generally catch a glimpse of themselves on the way out of a pub/club toilet and think "FUCKING CHRIST I LOOK LIKE A TRAMP" and spend an extra 5 minutes twatting around with makeup.

men simply think "I look fucking tremendous", have a quick glance for redeye, a fiddle with their possible quiff, then leave. unless you're some kind of girlyman.
(Mon 28th Dec 2009, 19:05, More)

» Schadenfreude

cycling lurls, not the most original
in my "wear system of a down t-shirt and unnecessary wallet chains" phase many years ago (shudder), I left my house whilst 3 young fellows cycled past to the chant of "greeeebooooo", as was the thing at the time. the one in front turned round to wankfist me and crashes straight into a postbox, the two behind following soon after in a tangle of limbs, wheels and bike frames.

from the heap of whimpering and moaning, one of them wails "you fucking greebo twat!" at me. didn't really have the same impact as it would have before their dignity was shredded away like mark heap jumping into a muck spreader.
(Thu 17th Dec 2009, 17:55, More)

» Funerals II

My brother's best quote
Milling around moderately aimlessly outside a crematorium, murmuring "lovely service" and such to one another, didn't quite fly with my elder brother after my great Aunt's funeral.

On spotting the crematorium's chimney suddenly belching out a pillar of black smoke, he turned to me and said "Thar she blows!"
(Fri 12th Apr 2013, 19:50, More)

» Cars

hot rock boomerang
was smoking resin in the back of my mate's car somewhere on the Msomething (rebellious, I know) - flicking the ash out of the partially opened window led to a large hot rock blowing right down my fucking earhole.
(Thu 22nd Apr 2010, 19:51, More)
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