» Little Victories

My maths teacher
had it in for me big time. Every lesson he would drag me out into the corridor for not doing homework etc. He said I would never amount to anything. Ha... fast forward two years and one saturday afternoon the same teacher was in Mcdonalds with his kids for lunch. I wonder if he noticed the 'extra dressing' on his big mac.
(Mon 14th Feb 2011, 11:03, More)

» What was I thinking?

In my 1st year at uni...
I shared a house with a lad from south wales and two girls. One of the girls was rather attractive and was often the topic of conversation amongst my pissed student friends. One night after the christmas break, myself and fit housemate returned to our shared accomodation a few days early to do a resit exam. Instead of getting down to revision we decided to head out for a night on the piss. Fast forward several hours later and we are both laid out on the floor of our living room. The conversation went something like this...

Her: What shall we do now, I don't want to go to bed by myself yet.

Me: Dunno, I'm really pissed.

Her: Me too, maybe we could play a game.

Me: Like what?

Her: I don't know, something like truth or dare.

Me: Ok then, you go first?

Her: Truth or dare?

Me: Truth.

Her: Do you fancy me?

Me: Er, yes, but, er, i don't know, Dare!

Her: Come upstairs with me.

Me: I don't think that would be a good idea, we are both pissed and would regret it tomorrow.

With that she stormed off upstairs. What the hell made me say that?

Apologies for length.
(Tue 28th Sep 2010, 0:40, More)

» Narrow Escapes

Firework bazooka
You probably did this as teenagers. We would get Air Bomb Repeater fireworks, light them and drop into a piece of plastic pipe to be used as a makeshift bazooka. One november evening in 1989, myself and a few others were happily blowing stuff up with our bazookas. One of my 'mates' decided it would be hilarious to point his bazooka in my direction. He had intended for the firework to shoot over my head by a good few feet just to give me a good scare. However his aim was shit and it skimmed the top of my newly permed hair (it was the fashion, honest) leaving a scorched patch. A few centimetres lower and I would have been hideously disfigured or worse. On the plus side I got my mum to give me a no.2 all over so only had the perm for 2 days.
(Thu 19th Aug 2010, 16:08, More)

» Amazing displays of ignorance

Its a small place... University
At the end of my 1st year at uni I managed to get a summer job in a sandwich factory. On my 1st (and only) day on the job I impressed the supervisor with my dazzling 'putting tomato on bread' skills so much that I was promoted to 'buttering the bread'. My fellow bread butterer was a girl in her early 20's. She seemed pleasant enough but she wasn't the brightest button in the box. The conversation went something like:

Girl: Is it your 1st day?
Me: Yes, just here for the summer holidays, back to uni in September.
Girl: Oh you go to university, do you know Sarah?
Me: Sarah? No, I don't think so.
Girl: But you both go to university, you must have seen her there.

I didn't have the heart to explain to her that there was more than one.
(Wed 24th Mar 2010, 12:57, More)

» Teenage Crushes - Part Two

Susanna Hoffs
from the 80's group, the Bangles. She is still hot now at 50. Google her. Its worth the effort!
(Fri 6th Nov 2009, 12:48, More)