b3ta.com user Schweaty Minge
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I'm 17 18 19. n-n-n-n-nineteen! 20 21! 22
Recently got photoshop but I won't inflict my crap upon you.
Not yet.

I make monies online too, not much but it all helps


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» Accidentally Erotic

At school, in geography..
I was surrounded by gorgeous lasses, way out of my league ( or so I thought at the time)
They all used to play footsie with me, grope me etc. all lesson! I thought they couldn't be serious, obviously, cos they're too good for me. Apparently they were serious.. went out with all of them eventually!
On Fridays the lesson was 2 1/2 hours long..
The good ol' days.

also: people falling asleep on you is all teh horny! especially if they're a stranger.
(Sun 5th Feb 2006, 3:43, More)

» Helicopter Parents

This question is relevant to my interests
Only last month, on a family holiday I was subjected to parental hoverings (I am 22). (Backstory: my mum left when I was about 7 so still treats me like a kid, but to be honest the whole of that side of the family is a bit wet.)

We were staying in a house we had rented on the west coast. It was the night of that meteor shower (14th August I believe?), there were lovely clear skies and I was really quite looking forward to a peaceful evening of stargazing.
I had some of those chinese lanterns, and decided it would be fun to set one off for the whole family to watch (me, my 3 sisters, my mum, grandparents, 2 cousins, my uncle and my aunt).

After lighting the fuel cell, and allowing the lantern to fill with air, I released it. It hovered in the air for a moment, then was taken by a breeze to nestle atop some maize in a nearby field (only for a fraction of a second, mind you).

This caused my aunt to flap like a headless chicken on speed, screeching like some kind of rotund crow that it was going to burn the whole field to a cinder.

Anyway, the lantern lifted off and continued on its merry way into the evening sky, observed by most of the family (my aunt couldn't bear to watch, lest it rain down hellfire from above).

Upon returning to the house, there was something of a post-mortem going on. My mum decided "you're not doing any more of those tonight"

"WTF?" I thought. So of course, retaining a modicum of pride (and somewhat influenced by my younger cousin) we set out to launch another lantern skyward.

Ha! Take that so-called authority figures. In your face.

But on returning to the house, I found that my aunt had confiscated the remaining lanterns. Confiscated them, and hidden them away. She took my toys away! Waa. I was gobsmacked at their cheek, to be honest, but my cousin was livid. He went ballistic at his mum for confiscating them, and it ended up causing a massive row.

We ended up walking 7 miles to the nearest town, in the middle of the night (saw a fair few meteors on the way thankfully). We got back just as the sun was rising, at about 5am.

The moral? Don't buy chinese lanterns!
(Fri 11th Sep 2009, 3:56, More)

» Conspiracy theory nutters

Visiting Avebury the other week..
I came across a rather dishevelled looking chap who was handing out leaflets, relating to "Intergalactic Intercourse" or some such nonsense.

"Based on 9 years of research!" He proudly and feverishly proclaimed.

Apparently, stonehenge is a giant minge, or something.. I didn't read the leaflet.

Anyone else seen this guy?
(Sat 29th Aug 2009, 3:09, More)

» I Quit!

Dwight Eisenhower once said
"Any man who wants to be president is either an egomaniac or crazy. "

I suppose that's an example of Ike wit.

Please don't shoot me!
(Wed 28th May 2008, 12:17, More)

» Cheap Tat

When I was larl
I got one of those spy-ear things. They amplify sound, enabling you to eavesdrop on unsuspecting peoples conversations.

"It's amazing* what old people talk about on the bus!" I thought, as I discarded the dead listening device in the bin - it had lasted less than the 20 minute ride home!

*rather nauseating
(Sat 5th Jan 2008, 1:57, More)
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