b3ta.com user JamHamster
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Profile for JamHamster:
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I'm an average bloke flinching as he screams past 39, I work as an I.T. consultant in Londonia and it gives me enough cash for my toy money!

I like to fiddle with varying bits and pieces, I heard a very good piece or advice years ago 'Never waste time watching T.V. you don't even like' and it's given me a lot more time for other things whether it be programming, music/mashups, sculpture, electronics, chemistry engineering etc.

- Jam ;-)

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Amazing Projects

Crap Tank!
I decided to scratch build an RC vehicle and am part way through, three weekends in and it's getting there.
It's made from kitchen chopping board, two electric drills and a couple of hundred bolts. I cut all the cogs myself (Mainly through luck than judgement) and plan to weaponise it and put the wireless camera on this weekend for remote shooting fun.
It's good for about 10 miles an hour and goes pretty much anywhere. all in all I'm not too disappointed with it! ;-)

(Fri 18th Nov 2011, 21:35, More)

» Little Victories

Lift magic!
at work I occasionally take the lift down from the fifth floor. The fifth floor lift door has an iffy switch so you have to sort of 'encourage it' shut or it just opens and closes ad infinitum...

I was stuck in there with a woman with the lift doors doing their thing and so I said 'excuse me' and gave the doors 'an assist' she was very impressed with this and with a smile I said 'I didn't always used to be in I.T.' she replied with 'Oh, you used to actually fix things then?'
This pissed me off somewhat and so when I had reached my destination I pretended to fiddle with the lift doors, and when leaving, turned to the lady and said 'These doors will never open again'. I could see this sink in on her face as I was rewarded with a look of rising panic between the slowly closing doors...

Mwah ha ha haaa! ;-)
(Sat 12th Feb 2011, 11:19, More)

» B3TA Most Haunted

My brother, the bastard...
My brother has no conscience at all when it comes to practical jokes and one Halloween he had an idea for a ‘Jolly Jape’ to play on my two Nephews (Then aged six and seven). He decided to hide up in my sisters loft with a view to scaring the little blighters. He was there for hours waiting for the kids to go to bed but when they did, that’s when the fun started.

Scratch, scratch, thump…
Scratch, thump. THUMP!

‘Muuuum! There’s something in the loft!’

‘Don’t be silly, you’re making it up ‘cos it’s halloween’

THUMP, THUMP, bangbangbang!

‘MUUUUUUM! There’s definitely something up there!’

My sister then said that she couldn’t get in the loft as she had hurt her knee (honest!). She then offered to pick up one of the children so that he could take a look. Surprisingly, the eldest volunteered (There’s no fucking way I would have done that!). He was raised up so that his shoulders just poked through the hatch. It was then that my brother shouted RAAAAARGH! at the top of his voice and pulled the eldest into the loft…

Cue about 5 minutes of absolute screaming bedlam, it was really mean but bloody funny!
(Fri 14th Sep 2012, 11:33, More)

» The best thing I've built

Shameless pea - Crap tank, again!!

I made the crap tank from Kitchen chopping board, bicycle chains, aluminium pipe and 9.6v Tesco Drills:


It fires at 30 rounds per second and the BBs come out at a shade over 306mph. It's more fun that you'd believe!

(Thu 11th Oct 2012, 13:39, More)

» Made me laugh

Last week, my sister and I went to take her dog to the vets. Whilst my sister and dog was in with the vet I was dutifully waiting in reception when I overheard a conversation between two elderly ladies…
‘I’ve been reading that 50 shades of grey’
‘Oh have you?’
‘Yes, I might not keep reading it, it’s not very well written’
‘I’ve heard that’
‘It’s not even as if it’s very good porn’
I promptly laughed fairly loudly much to their entertainment, one of the aforementioned ladies said ‘Ooh, look at him giggling away’ to which I replied with a chuckle, ’Hey, just because there’s snow on the roof it doesn’t mean the fire’s gone out!’
By the time my sister came out with the dog we were all cackling away and she was left wondering what the hell was going on.
And the dog's fine too - Result! :-)
(Sat 8th Dec 2012, 22:36, More)
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