» Devastating Put-Downs

there was this one time...
...and i shouted words and everyone fell about.

it was amazing.
(Fri 25th Nov 2011, 16:55, More)

» Driven to Madness

"...and for data protection, please...."
- private personal mobile phone, whose number is seldom given out frivolously, rings
hello?
- is that mr nononononono?
yes.
- before we go on, can you please confirm your post code/date of birth/inside leg for data protection purposes?
well, you phoned me...


fuckin really hate that...
(Mon 8th Oct 2012, 12:56, More)

» Worst Band Ever

Belle & Sebastian
I notice that no one has yet mentioned this collective of pretentious twattery, yet. So I'd like to be the first.

Logically then, I think they're a bunch of twats. And in similar vein as a few other posts, they've proved the "inspiration" for countless other ball-less rock bands, often gimping on about how their shoes have made the words in their favourite Salinger novel look odd, or how they got picked on once in primary 4 for having wet themselves in gym, or some such shite.

A "good" Glasgow band apparently, they've certainly fecked it up for anyone else from up here.

However, I do like how the lead singer/writer has now seen fit to include numerous references to his omnipotent fictional figure of choice in recent output, which at least gives me some justification for requesting my wife to not try and brainwash my son into the cardigan wearing scenesters that amount ot their fan base.

Additionally, they're my wife's favourite band. My least favourite. This has perhaps unsurprisingly led to a few tortuous gigs I've "had" to attend. And resulting arguments. Hey ho.

At least I don't need to go anymore...
(Fri 31st Dec 2010, 9:45, More)

» Midlife Crisis

well...
...after years of abuse / "gentle chiding" from Mrs Nononono about living in the 90s musically (bit of a techno geek me), i was given the "gift" of a surprise 40th a couple of years back, c/w her choice of soundtrack.

a two tone ska reggae dj who didnt play anything released after 1979.

oh the irony.

and it's my birthday today. thanks.

mid life crisis appears to have revealed itself in the form of inability to pay any household bills. i love the world.
(Thu 2nd May 2013, 12:43, More)

» Ignorance

my wife used to chef in a local cafe/bistro type thing
...run by an italian/south african (tended more towards the stereotypical s'affrikan in his politics though...which when you think about it, aint all that far away from stereotypical or at least historical italian..).

Anyway. he has hee haw to do with the tale.

Which involved a bit of a golly of a waitress, asking mrs no if she knew how they got the anchovies into the jars so neatly - "do they just put a bit of food in the bottom and then shut the jar really quick?"

she never got an order wrong though to be fair...
(Thu 30th Aug 2012, 14:11, More)