» We have to talk

We need to talk
A while ago I'd had a miscarrage and needed some surgery to remove the remainder and fix the damage that had been caused by this.

So I'm lay in a hospital bed, waiting to be wheeled into the operating theater, when my ex decides to start with the "we need to talk" line.

Him "We need to talk"
Me "Can this wait till after the surgery?"
Him "No, is the baby (insert his best friends name here)'s?"
Me "What? No? Why are you asking me this now?"
Him "So I know whether to wish you well or dead"

And it still took me 3 months more to get rid of him, I blame the emotional trauma.

Bastard
Oooh girth
(Fri 20th Apr 2007, 18:53, More)

» Strict Parents

Unfortunatly
my mum suffers from MPD, meaning while she was very strict, she was in no way consistant. My dad was wonderful, and his only rule was "be honest". He was ok with us going out and doing what we like, as long as we talked to him about it. My mum on the other hand, once had a screaming fit at me for having an asthma attack, and insisted on sending me to school with cheese sandwiches, dispite the fact i'm life threataningly alergic to dairy, and would check with a dinner lady she knew that i had eaten them... if not, she'd force feed them to me, then scream at me for being lazy when i stopped breathing... fortunatly, by this age (5) I knew how to treat it myself. My mums so very very nuts

Sorry for the length
(Sat 10th Mar 2007, 12:45, More)

» The thing I've been most ashamed of doing with a penis

Slicing it...
While practicing some distinctly not safe sex, I trod on my partners penis and took a slice out of it with the edge of my heels. Did the scrotum too...
Turns out, both of these body parts are gushers when they bleed... truly impressive, and I'm glad I wasn't the one who had to clean up after it. Suprisingly we're still together.

Length and girth? Well really quite impressive actuallly
(Thu 12th Mar 2009, 13:01, More)

» Sleepwalking

My boyfriend is weird
I love him to bits, but in his sleep my boyfriend is very odd. Hes diabetic, and once got up in the middle of the night with a low blood suger.

He tested his blood sugers (stuck a needle into his fnger till it bled, then used the fancy bm moniter gadget) cooked himself a fry up, ate that and a few packets of biscuts, checked his blood sugers again. gave himself a shot of isulin (needle into the leg) then went back to bed.

I know he was alseep, because he was snoring. Loudly.
So how the hell did he jab himself repetedly with needles without making a mistake or waking himself up?
And how did he use the fryingpan while naked without getting burned?

edit - I should probably point out that I did try to wake him, and couldn't, and tryed to take the sharp/hot things away from him and also couldnt... I honestly dont want to see him hurt.

length, plenty
(Wed 29th Aug 2007, 0:44, More)

» Terrible Parenting

His own fault
This was my half-brothers mum. My older brothers are six and seven years older than me, and when we were younger we used to play fight all the time. The younger of the two was always pretending to be hurt so we'd stop and he could grab us and start chucking us about. Great fun. Then the day came when he really had broken his arm. And my sister and I jumped on it, just to be sure.

When we realised he was really hurt, we called his mum, who came round, and proceeded to chase the older brother down the street, Screaming at him and beating the crap out of him leaving my screaming younger brother to be looked after by myself and my sister, aged 4&5.

We all laugh about it now though, even if youngers arm and olders head are no longer the right shape

Just a bit of girth
(Fri 17th Aug 2007, 16:51, More)