b3ta.com user iamdoingapooasisignup
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» Trolls

My colleague's desk is...
...covered in fucking Trolls!
He is a TROLL.

He has about 30, yes thirty, of the little fluorescent-haired plastic little french-tickler little fucks scattered around his fucking desk/work area. Everyday when I'd arrive I'd ask myself, "What kind of fucking dickhead does this guy think he is?"

After working with this scrawny little acne addled bollock massager I asked him the following, "Why do you have about 30 trolls scattered on your work space and an executive drumkit?"...His answer, "To annoy self-important dickheads like you."

That fuckin' learned me. Turns out he's a top lad and he likes MASSIVE DRUGS.

(Fri 20th May 2011, 17:51, More)

» Trolls

...more like Trollology...

Bunch of mental cases...Mental zealots. Mental numbnuts...Scientologists are the biggest trolls on this planet. Spouting their mental bollocks left, right and centre. Horrible bunch of blood suckers. I wish they would not set up their mental stalls on Oxford Street offering "free stress tests."

(Sun 22nd May 2011, 14:31, More)

» Lurid Work Stories

Sex at the office.
My brother told me that he found out that a couple of his colleagues had UNPROTECTED sex in a tiny meeting room in his office whilst there were some in-office after work drinks taking place a few weeks ago.

He said that the pair involved was fully naked and banging away like rabbits on the sofa in the tiny meeting room. The lady involved, when recounting the story to my brother and others, was proud to say that the man shot his load inside her twice and he shot a load on the sofa too.

Staff appraisals are conducted in the tiny meeting room and, more often than not, I am informed that the managers sit next to the other employees on the sofa and not at the meeting table. The sofa is made from cotton-like material so the spunk will have sunk right into it and been wholeheartedly absorbed...allow with any other incidental fluids.
(Fri 6th Sep 2013, 17:09, More)

» Random Acts of Kindness

I do not...
fart in lifts when there are other people around.

The behaviour of a kind and caring individual.
(Thu 16th Feb 2012, 16:11, More)

» Old stuff I still know

I still know how to...WANK.

(Thu 7th Jul 2011, 12:45, More)
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