b3ta.com user r0bm867
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» Funny Stories

having one off the wrist
Lad I worked with in Royal Mail once admitted to us that he had, for a long time, been under the impression that 'having one off the wrist' was slang for going for a pint (no explanation was ever given for this misunderstanding). He went on to document several instances in which he'd asked friends if they wanted to go for a 'quick one off the wrist' with him, and a subsequent time when someone asked him if he'd ever been caught by him mum doing the same, which caused him much confusion
(Thu 18th Jun 2015, 14:48, More)

» Not Getting the Job

applications
My brother (salesman and occasional sales manager) has been tasked with narrowing down some piles of applications previously. His very scientific technique was to take half of the letters/cv's and drop them in the bin, thereby weeding out those applicant prone to 'bad luck'
(Thu 11th Jun 2015, 14:36, More)

» Not Getting the Job

recruitment consultants
Fucking hell don't get me started on recruitment consultants. I've had ones where you've been flexible as hell readily agreeing to extensions on a temp job without batting an eyelid for over 9 months only to hear shit all after that dries up....apparently being ultra-reliable means nothing. Or the useless twats who never sent my p45 to the inland revenue as required, which resulted in my tax code being wrong for a year, luckily I got the 1,000 back. Most don't have the courtesy to respond to well-written letters, even though you know most of what they receive is poorly-spelt bollocks.
(Thu 11th Jun 2015, 12:22, More)

» Funny Stories

school hardnut
Once the school hardnut (and he was rock solid) came up to me in the sports hall when it was only me and him there, and threatened to break my legs if I was lying to him...

...the background? I was good friends with his girlfriend, who along with her mates had been mucking around showing off cleavage in a maths lesson. It would have been impossible not to see. One of my apparent mates went and told him I was staring at her tits.

I didn't sleep for a week after that threat. That was funny
(Thu 18th Jun 2015, 15:11, More)

» Festivals II

years ago..
... I found myself in the middle of a farmers field, about 50,000 people for company, indulging in some of the worlds most insane 'beats'. One night after hitting it hard I came back to the tent and all my stuff had been stolen, clothes, booze, camping gear, the lot. We were there for another day yet so my mate graciously decided to lend me some of his warmer summer gear, as he needed the chillier clothes as the weather had turned nasty.

So I put on a sleeveless top and we got back on it. Just then, some tit spilt his beer down my recently borrowed tank-top.

That was my vest-of-ale story...
(Thu 25th Jun 2015, 10:59, More)
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