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# A hole was found in the wall of a nearby nudist colony
The police are looking into it
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 10:37, archived)
# An employment agency was mistakenly put on the electoral register
Officials say they'll be de-voting ManPower.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 10:42, archived)
# The dog training equipment has been stolen from Humberside Police Station
The police say they have no leads
(I helped save b3ta! camp freddy well, would you look at that!, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:11, archived)
# A police sergeant was found trapped in his own cells
He nicked himself shaving
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:12, archived)
# A dwarfish clairvoyant has escaped from jail
The police are looking for a small medium at large.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:15, archived)
# Is this fucking thread sponsored by Tom O' Connor or something?
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:18, archived)
# He later got into a fight for laughing at someone's misfortune
The assailant was striking a happy medium.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:24, archived)
# Sadly he got run down by a bus
I guess he didn't see it coming.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:28, archived)
# And we've just heard that a juggernaut of onions has shed its load all over the M-1.
Motorists are advised to find a hard shoulder to cry on.
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:41, archived)
# 'kin 'ell
Hahahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 12:05, archived)