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I hate stuck up wankers.

...this sight is full of them. The site itself is one of the most refreshing on the net, the guys and guls who post there stuff are in the executive class indeed; but as a casual observer enjoying what goes down here, I can only offer some advise to some of you guys/gals who take all this b3ta stuff to seriously; get your heads out of your arses. I can smell the smuck coating your heads and it interrupts my laughter with wanting to vomit.

Stop calling people cunts, or telling folks to fuck off, or they're wankers, and you might get less remarks from casual observers like me who wish they had more time in life to do all the cool stuff going around here, but don;t regret having better stuff than read the crap cussing 'established members' think it's safe to do on cyberspace, free from the reality of a right good fucking hard kicking they'ed get if they spoke to someone in my proximity like that in a pub standing near me.

Just goes to show what crap all this cyber bollocks is, wankers giving it the large behind the safety of their monitor. Tossers.

Here goes! Lets see the usual bunch of middle-class, i'm alternative, gifted-but-flawed bunch of cunts give it some large in reaction to this rant. Fire boys...

There would be a funny pic here but i'm a manual working class piece of scum who only comes here to have a not to serious laugh, rudely interupted by the fucking pricks giving it as if they're in god mode.

Call it a poem.

But it was time it was said.

(Daisy Cutter, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:31, archived)

WTFAYBOA

(smoglane!, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:31, archived)

I think they're saying

"hello, please make more funny pictures"

(

rogan, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:36, archived)

it's more

'stop insulting people'

(

Sunshine Elephant, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:37, archived)

wheres the

fun in that?

(icedragon, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:38, archived)

Exactly

where's Baz when you need him?

/dayshift

(

splorp ®, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:40, archived)

but of course

with it being on b3ta - it's been interpreted as 'start insulting each other wildly"

which i like

(vork and burlap, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:38, archived)

your mother

cooks socks in hull

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:40, archived)

that's what i like to hear

you twatting fuckplaster

(vork and burlap, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:41, archived)

fuckplaster? :)

pffft!

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:47, archived)

i'm as surprised at that one

as you are, to be honest

(vork and burlap, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:49, archived)

yeah

fuck off you smelly fish gonad!

i'm so crap at this insulting lark its amazing if anyone ever takes it seriously.

(

jiva nearly always up for a game of scrabble, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:40, archived)

you

sweatpropelling knobtracker

(in the nicest possible way)

(vork and burlap, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:42, archived)

you scalliwag

(

Sunshine Elephant, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:44, archived)

right

bed for me, I've got a warm munkt0n waiting....

:)

(

jiva nearly always up for a game of scrabble, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:45, archived)

fair night to thee

(vork and burlap, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:46, archived)

give munkt0n a

smackeroo from us lot over 'ere!

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:47, archived)

we just like being

awkward and reactionary = )

(

evil pixie, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:40, archived)

do we fuck

you donkeybothering twatmonkey

(again, in the nicest possible way)

(vork and burlap, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:43, archived)

ooh

I like that one, think I may start using donkey bothering shit sniffer, more often

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:47, archived)

I'm still using

'horse gobbling dog wanker' from posts me an' donthaveaclue did many moons ago :)

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:48, archived)

Please Please Please Please

Shop something fluffy for us?

(Pokes badgers with spoons, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:36, archived)

i've never seen

site mis-spelt twice so close to each other

it's like your brain went totally screwy for a split second

i like that

edit: incidentally, i've just got home from the pub with some b3tans - i called at least one of them a cunt several times

(vork and burlap, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:32, archived)

didn't call any b3tans cunts whilst at edinbash, though others called others cunt a lot of times

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:48, archived)

look

at this time of night we're half pissed.
*hick*

(

jiva nearly always up for a game of scrabble, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:32, archived)

i'm pissed

two and a half times over.

(

Reverend Dan, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:33, archived)

I can barely see

It takes me ages to type a single message...yarr!

(

splorp ®, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:34, archived)

but

you can still spell!
arf!

(

jiva nearly always up for a game of scrabble, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:36, archived)

are you guys really pissed?

because i've just come back from the pub and am probably talking shit...but as long as im not alone in it...

(icedragon, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:40, archived)

I've drunk two big

bottles of Calsberg Export and a bottle of wine. I really can't see, but I'm too much of pedant to let typos through, so I just spend ages trying to type replies. :-)

(

splorp ®, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:42, archived)

good

least im not the only piss-head

(icedragon, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:42, archived)

If I didn't check my typing

I would say something like:

 dt
hdofl ius 
a  sloasd ofjd 
                            sho  ete

but I do, so it doesn't happen. Yay!

(

splorp ®, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:45, archived)

tee hee

your still being a pirate, sweet, I was most upset to find no more pirates when I got home from pub Yarrrrrr

(Pokes badgers with spoons, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:40, archived)

fair point,

but it's difficult to criticise excessive insulting by using it.

(

Sunshine Elephant, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:32, archived)

you are too

eliquant tonight.

(

jiva nearly always up for a game of scrabble, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:34, archived)

eliquant?

Elephant surely? ;-)

(

splorp ®, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:34, archived)

fuck

please dont expect me to spell too.

(

jiva nearly always up for a game of scrabble, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:35, archived)

:-)

(

splorp ®, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:42, archived)

i'm in a good mood,

which is good

(

Sunshine Elephant, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:35, archived)

woo! go you!

down at netto's there's a soapbox you can rent.

oh, and puffin are giving out free novels of your life.

noone cares!

(

Naive Amoeba Bored Cig, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:32, archived)

woo!

(metalface, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:32, archived)

give it some large what?

i can't be bothered to read the whole lot. someone sum it up

(

Reverend Dan, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:32, archived)

Person saying we smell and we dont like annoying people

something along those lines

(smoglane!, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:33, archived)

us = cunts

him = great

allegedly

(vork and burlap, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:34, archived)

minus the him=great

it was more him=the guy who will kick your face in down the pub*

*excludes titanium man

(

_null_, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:35, archived)

well

it was loose allegation

(vork and burlap, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:35, archived)

would he

bollocks

(

Reverend Dan, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:37, archived)

more than 2 lines of writting is unexceptable at these hours for me

whats he babbling on about?

(

?, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:33, archived)

oh, stuff. you know.

this'n'that. I blame the phase of the moon. And leaves on the line.

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:34, archived)

if you'd been here for longer than 4 days

and read some of the archive pages (for they go right back to the beginning) you'd know why we act the way we do.

Stick around, pull up a beer and draw a cock on a chair. We're all just playing......

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:33, archived)

after my post I'm all sad now

:-(

(chossy, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:33, archived)

and its so lovely

mmmmm smartie martians....

(

jiva nearly always up for a game of scrabble, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:35, archived)

Cock off

and photoshop a kitten. Whingeing Cunt.

Oh, yes, and learn to spell as well.

(

Spherix What, with these feet?, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:34, archived)

That gave me the horn.

(

_null_, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:34, archived)

does that mean you've got

to give up the trombone?

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:35, archived)

yup

one's collection of brass instruments cqan only get so big.

(

_null_, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:37, archived)

can I have

yer big oompah?

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:41, archived)

Mmmmm

Horn.

*Parp*

(

Spherix What, with these feet?, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:36, archived)

honk

(

?, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:38, archived)

*toot*

(

Spherix What, with these feet?, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:41, archived)

cock off twunt face

sorry

Threadjack #2:

how do you draw single pixels in photoshop? i set the brush or pencil to 1 and it draws 2x2 pixels - help!

you cunts!

(

dipdapdop, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:35, archived)

fuck off,

cockbadger :)

I don't know

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:37, archived)

shit sniffing cock mangler

I've no idea either

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:38, archived)

pencil

should do it

(

Reverend Dan, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:38, archived)

that's what i thought

but it fucking doesn't you know. ah well selecting individual pixels and filling it is then *sigh*

(

dipdapdop, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:41, archived)

pencil tool

at one pixel should do it...

(

rogan, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:38, archived)

whats pixels?

(

?, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:39, archived)

rather good

that is - like the way it tricks you into thinking it's just a short loop

(

Kamikazee Killmouse, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:45, archived)

Pixels

You have to zoom right in there :-) then you can do it

(chossy, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:39, archived)

are you sure you've got the smallest pencil size?

it draws 1x1 for me

(

Spoon, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:40, archived)

yep i'm sure as sure as sure

pencil, size 1, the little brush is pixel sized, zoomed in fully, comes up 2x2.

(

dipdapdop, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:46, archived)

change the MODE

- next to pencil size - there's some other settings... n stuff

(

Kamikazee Killmouse, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:48, archived)

yay!

there's fuck all in "mode" but i clicked the little arrow next _right_ next to the pencil and chose "reset tool" - sorted.

(

dipdapdop, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:52, archived)

if you work in

"Indexed Colour" mode, instead of RGB, then it stops anti-aliasing the tools, and lets you draw single pixels.

Although then your photos look like a paintmash cause it's in a pallette of 256 colours.

Another thing you could do is use the selection tool to select a 1x1 square and then use your favourite brush to paint into that ;)

(

jola, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:51, archived)

nice one

i need to use 256 colours anyway so that's ok

ta!

(

dipdapdop, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:55, archived)

ass

wank cock chair, erm cunt erm parp erm knobbly

right all done, for the record I be slightly poor

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:35, archived)

Cock off fucknuts

Everyone's just having a bit of fun, everyone takes the piss out of their mates because they know they're not gonna get the shit beaten out of them. There's a lotta love on b3ta.
This subject bar being an "ironic" point about the topic

(

Whillow, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:36, archived)

Cunt.

point proven

(vork and burlap, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:37, archived)

you think we don't call each other cunts in person?

you've obviously not met supermoore then

(

evil pixie, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:38, archived)

i've just been out with him

i didn't get called a cunt once

odd...

(vork and burlap, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:39, archived)

you weren't trying

hard enough then = )

(

evil pixie, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:42, archived)

i didn't get asked

what the fuck i was banging on about either

(vork and burlap, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:45, archived)

and as much as i'm trying to resist replying seriously to this

what the fuck does class have to do with anything?

(

evil pixie, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:40, archived)

supposedly the working classes can't photoshop

perhaps it will be used as the new boundary for class divisions by the government

(

_null_, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:41, archived)

what

so instead of having poor people sterilised they'll have a finger or two chopped off

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:43, archived)

that'll land me firmly

in the underclass then

(

evil pixie, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:43, archived)

what would you call the classes?

The photoshoppers and the photoshop-notters?
Or perhaps the next version of p-shop will have a 'make money' filter, and the photoshoppers will have all the money! ha ha ha! we shall rule the world! That filter damn well better have a currency selecter, though, I don't want to be stuck with a bunch of Euros and have to drive to the bank during my lunch break. I hate that.

(joe stoner dot com, Mon 22 Sep 2003, 20:10, archived)

perhaps

its meant to be school

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:42, archived)

hey look at me,

I'm Winston Churchill.

[wiggles arse]

(

Sexy Picard 2000, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:39, archived)

that reply nearly

resulted in beer spittage :)

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:42, archived)

fuckin' chill out

and stop taking b3ta seriously

(

Haku Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips., Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:41, archived)

'ere, did you see

my reply to yer last post before you nicked off for a bit? It's down there somewhere vvvvvvvvv

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:42, archived)

just read it

hahahaha there's a 24hour garage just down the road from me *evil smirk* but it's cold out :\

(

Haku Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips., Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:46, archived)

that wasn't the one I meant -

I'd forgotten about that one :)

It was a reply to yer posting about cinnamon tic tacs.....

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:50, archived)

oh the cinnamon tic-tacs

I still got a couple of packs from someone who sent me a batch from Texas :)

(

Haku Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips., Sat 20 Sep 2003, 1:00, archived)

mrs witchy's sisters and dad

live in chicago, new york and boston respectively, so I'm sorted :o)

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 1:03, archived)

and this is the key to it all

as someone else keeps saying (stouffer?) it's only a website on the internet
though of course it means much more than that to some people, but deep down it is the truth

(

evil pixie, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:44, archived)

didn't

he start the whole it's only a fucking messageboard coversation

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:45, archived)

and one final point

if something bugs you, complaining about it here isnt going to do much. it's better to implement the change you want to see yourself instead of telling other people to do it. dont like seeing loads of pictures with kittens in? so make some pictures with aarkvarks or butterflies instead.

(

evil pixie, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:47, archived)

Cool.

Exactly my point.

(Daisy Cutter, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:48, archived)

Here is what happens

to you manual working class people when you start using the word "cunt" too often

cunt

(

jola, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:47, archived)

Cunt.

Bastard. :-)

(Daisy Cutter, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:50, archived)

see - yer getting

the hang of it already!

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:51, archived)

Suckfocks.

;-)

(

jola, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:51, archived)

suckfocks

sprechen se b3ta? :)

(

Haku Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips., Sat 20 Sep 2003, 0:57, archived)

I'm

not a native, but I'm picking it up as I go along...

(

jola, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 1:05, archived)

You know what?

You're right.

(

wayward., Sat 20 Sep 2003, 1:12, archived)

this person is right

and it's why i haven't been posting much, which i'm sure you're all thrilled about.

(kerouac, Sat 20 Sep 2003, 1:13, archived)

GRR so much text!

.) when a b3tan insults another b3tan, it's in the pally, slap on the back kind of way, not in the "i hate you and want you to die" kind of way~

that's why we say silly things like "arsebadger" and "twattymint" it's not exactly insulting is it? so you see insults, where b3tans are concerned are often just mere jests :P

believe me, there's nothing to worry about.. we're all nice people and nice to each other, but if one tells the other to cock off, it's a nice way to say "no it isn't" see? it just sounds worse because it's an insult, but really once you get used to it, it's quite funny :D

(Catfish Ma, why can't I draw? "Because you have fins dear", Sat 20 Sep 2003, 2:32, archived)

here it is read out to you in a flash movie

www.fnord.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/DaisyCutterMusical.htm

(

Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Sun 21 Sep 2003, 1:10, archived)

I think he's talking about me.

Whoops.

(

Baz Fuck off, Mon 22 Sep 2003, 0:29, archived)

so do i....

you cnut ;)

(

5olly, Mon 22 Sep 2003, 0:51, archived)

Of course, if I'd been around at the time

I'd have picked him up on his atrocious spelling.

(

Baz Fuck off, Mon 22 Sep 2003, 1:00, archived)