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[challenge entry] The story that vanished


More to come

From the Sick Christmas Cards challenge. See all 300 entries (closed)

(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:02, archived)
# jpegartifactastic!
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:03, archived)
# TJ
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:05, archived)
#
"After the hearing, Craswell's father, who declined to be named, said there should have been barriers to prevent his son from getting on to the railway line. "

WHAT HAPPENED TO TAKING RESPONSIBILITY?? AAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCKING NANNY STATE RANTRANTRANT AAARRRGGKLJHIUO:QWYFDP(YQWOPE89yf09&^_")^R*IO"NUFYCILEUAYC)(*${)&$+&UQICE
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:07, archived)
# *pulls Dixon's head onto bosom*
There, there
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:09, archived)
# =^_^=
kekekekekekekekekekeekkekkekeekekeke
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:10, archived)
# Chrissakes.
Should read: "I'm a fucking terrible father - I never told him not to go on the railway lines. In fact I used to take him on day trips there. Oh well."

Parents don't have a clue any more.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:09, archived)
# *cancels weekend outing with the kids*
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:12, archived)
# this is strange...
... i remember everyday my mother used to say, without fail, as i left for school "Watch the roads"

and the one time she didnt say it... I GOT RUN OVER!
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:14, archived)
# 'watch the cars' would hae made more sense
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:17, archived)
# that's just parental irresponsibility
that is
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:17, archived)
# the cow!!!
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:18, archived)
# Well said Mr Bawls.
I for one, couldn't agree more.

For instance, what's with that "Other films you may enjoy" bollocks at Cineworld? Is there something too hard to understand about "Coming Soon"?

/soapbox
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:09, archived)
# It's probably something about
the double-entendre in 'coming soon'.

I personally think the whole world is mad.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:11, archived)
# cuming soon shoe-oily?
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:11, archived)
# I really hate the word 'cuming/cumming'.
It just seems so schoolboy-esque.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:14, archived)
# there was some major flaming over it earlier today
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:17, archived)
# Yeah I saw :)
I'm sure the guy meant 'cumin'.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:19, archived)
# Was there?
I missed that. Got a link?
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:23, archived)
# The only flaming is Griffin, the big drama queen
:P
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:27, archived)
# I've spazzed back and seen it.
=)
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:34, archived)
# *scratches your eyes out*
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:38, archived)
# It's useful though
You try screaming 'I'm about to have an orgasm' when you are...
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:19, archived)
# Yeah... it's the spelling that really pisses me off.
C-O-M-I-N-G is the way to spell it in my book.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:20, archived)
# Oh aye, I agree with you there.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:21, archived)
# Hurrah!
Someone who agrees!
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:23, archived)
# best tell these poor fuckers then
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:23, archived)
# Hahaha
pure genius :D
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:24, archived)
# its the 3 types of recomendations that get me
can't remeber the first one,
recomended by kids for kids
recomened by the 'team' at Cineworld - get to fuck!
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:11, archived)
# The "Team"?
fucking hell.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:11, archived)
# have you seen the people who work at cinemas?
would you take their recommendation for anything?
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:13, archived)
# not a thing. Not even their directions to the toilet.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:15, archived)
# pffft
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:20, archived)
# Team Cineworld of course.
Occasionally called Team CW*

*Not in any way affiliated with Captain Wow, Chorizowagon or CaroWallis. Or any other CWs I've forgotted.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:14, archived)
# CuntWastrel?
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:15, archived)
# Cwiff Wichard
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:18, archived)
# 'Craswell's father, who declined to be named,'
i'll name him: MISTER CRASWELL
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:11, archived)
# (senior)
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:11, archived)
# se~nor!
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:14, archived)
# Good god, I never thought I'd find someone as obsessed with Izzard as I am.
However I am glad that I have, because I don't feel like such a freak any more.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:17, archived)
# 'and it wouldn't be 'seen-your' would it, it'd be 'Senor!'.....'
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:20, archived)
# Exactly :D
As I recall it was crabs saying it...
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:21, archived)
# It was indeed
Louder pig louder pig louder pig mute! La cucaracha the pig...
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:24, archived)
# I turn you into a.... PIG!
A PIG!... PIG!... Damn batteries...
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:26, archived)
# I can't see that word without thinking of Eddie Izzard now
postning, mictofluff.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:17, archived)
# how are you sexy?
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:22, archived)
# Well I'm kind of busty...
Oh I see what you mean.

I am okidoki, ta. Busty, as it happens.

AND IT'S FRIDAY!
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:23, archived)
# Maybe he should just put his son on elastic.
That way he can only stay at the pub as long as he could hold himself there, and he'd get home REALLY quickly.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:11, archived)
# What a fab idea
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:12, archived)
# *bows*
I am a fab person, is why
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:19, archived)
# oddly enough
that made me remember to check to train times
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:07, archived)
# What a numpty.
There were some brill ones in the metro of Alice Beer off telly.
Pissed & hugging a traffic cone. They haven't hit the interweb yet....
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:08, archived)
# she has a great name
a face like a welders bench, but a great name
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:09, archived)
# Here...
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:12, archived)
# Serves her right
I owned a puffball skirt when I was little and even THEN I knew it was a bad idea.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:14, archived)
# Good work
I did look for them
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:14, archived)
# what the fuck is she wearing?
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:15, archived)
# looks like Willem Dafoe in the top frame
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:16, archived)
# I think its the entrepreneur
aussie guy off of dragons den...
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:22, archived)
# A big mushroom?
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:16, archived)
# I think her farts are collecting in her distended rectal membrane and she hasn't noticed.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:17, archived)
# a puffball skirt
80s badness
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:22, archived)
# excellent
i was like that last night
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:18, archived)
# you looked great in that skirt
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:21, archived)
# I shouldn't have gone commando though
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:29, archived)
# Ooof!
Post-ning, all.

*munches*
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:05, archived)
# 'ning, Cap'n!
*molests slightly*
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:06, archived)
# How was your gig?
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:08, archived)
# We rocked!
And looked hilarious...

www.b3ta.com/board/6640345
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:12, archived)
# I didn't know Phil Mitchell was even into Adam and the Ants
*runs*
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:16, archived)
# *chases*
*bums*
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:36, archived)
# hullo.
watcha munchin' ?
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:08, archived)
# doritos, nuts and a chicken salad sarnie.
Oh and a piss-poor glass of white wine as we had a presentation today.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:09, archived)
# ooh I want some piss poor wine too
In 3 hours starts our company xmas pardy..

lots of free booze and eats, and Dixon in a white suit and wig. Fabtastic.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:14, archived)
# Ours is tonight, too
On some big yacht thing on the Thames. I'm not going though as fuckoffamIwearingaballgown. Plus it's no partners.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:26, archived)
# No partners - :( yeh here too
The summerparty had partners and families invited.. so it was full of screaming kids :(
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:30, archived)
# *shudders*
(, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:35, archived)