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[challenge entry]

From the Maps! challenge. See all 308 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! brianftang www.brianftang.co.uk, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:06, archived)
# This a lot.
"I have no idea where I'm going, so I'll stand in the middle of the main flow of traffic, wondering loudly about how the very easy-to-read tube map works."
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:08, archived)
# Oxford Circus
On the pavement next to the tube entrance, right where it gets narrowest.
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:09, archived)
# Top tip
For maximum disruption, have a double-wide pushchair with you as well.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:11, archived)
# and stand NEXT to it.
in a large circle.
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:14, archived)
# haha
And the best time to do this is the week before christmas. Or Saturday.
(I helped save b3ta! brianftang www.brianftang.co.uk, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:29, archived)
# YES!
You have a map, so don't ask me whwere the fucking British Museum is. Use your fucvking map!
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:10, archived)
# Hello - I'm a Londoner.
As you know, we're all world-renowned for our friendliness, so, when I'm having a cigarette outside my faceless corporate building, you know that I'll be only too pleased to ACT AS A FUCKING TOURIST INFORMATION CENTRE.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:12, archived)
# Londoners are (in general) such utter shits.
50% yuppie scum, 49% chav scum. 1% human.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:18, archived)
# (all the yuppies live in Surrey)
(I helped save b3ta! brianftang www.brianftang.co.uk, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:27, archived)
# I think your mistaken
Working in the centre of London I would say I am more 70% yuppie scum, 29.5% chav scum and 0.5% human,

and 100% richer than you, don't you know!

*runs to check bank balance*
(the noggin causes laxative effects, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:29, archived)
# richer, but I doubt happier.
:D

And I meant 1 % of Londoners are human. Not 1% of each Londoner.

edit- hang on, I live in Buckinghamshire. That's where all the rich people who work in London come back to. Well, some of them.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:33, archived)
# Not that rich either really
I admit it, I have to eat Boots Meal Deals to afford my over inflated London mortgage.

*sobs quietly*
(the noggin causes laxative effects, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:36, archived)
# I'm not in any way rich.
But I don't need to be, I've got everything I need.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:45, archived)
# Well fuck you, then.
Thanks for judging me on where I live.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:36, archived)
# You're ever so welcome.
Thanks for forgetting that this may be a website where people say things in jest. Christ, you can joke about rape, incest, child kidnapping, death, disability, racism, sexism, homophobia etc, but you can't make a sweeping statement in jest against Londoners.

Am I meant to think you're all lovely people now or something? Because I must say, you've convinced me. Sweet and friendly.


Oh, and by the way, most people on here judge Americans on where they live. Or is that different?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:42, archived)
# I don't judge Americans
I don't judge anyone. I'd thank you to return the effort.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 13:13, archived)
# I judge Americans on being fat, ignorant and stupid
Where they live is actually quite a nice place.
(the noggin causes laxative effects, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 13:28, archived)
# excuse me,
could you direct me towards the British Museum please?
(I helped save b3ta! Damien's Hearse, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:12, archived)
# Yeah - it's just over there.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:14, archived)
# Yeah, it's just behind that big building
with British Museum written on it.

Yeah, just behind that.
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:17, archived)
# hahaha!!
the other bloke looks a bit like titchmarsh!
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:12, archived)
# It always astonishes me...
...that most people are given driving licenses, given their incapability of walking, or even standing correctly.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:12, archived)
# This absolutely
Also perhaps some tips on how to drag your stupid fucking suitcase containing enough crap for a trip to the North Pole onto the tube platform and then STOP DEAD to block the entrance.

Don't mind us, we only live here and are trying to get to work.
(I helped save b3ta! Baglady, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:14, archived)
# I'm not bitching at you, so don't get huffy
but it amazes me that people who choose to live and work in London (that's CHOOSE) get huffy about tourists. Did you think it was going to be like the Archers or something?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:23, archived)
# I've lived here all my life
It's my hometown, where I was born, and the centre of the industry I work in...
(I helped save b3ta! brianftang www.brianftang.co.uk, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:27, archived)
# Exactly, so you've got lots of experience with tourists.
I'm honestly not bitching, I just... don't understand why people have such a problem with them. I don't know, everyone seems to care more about things that don't matter in London.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:32, archived)
# I have no problem with tourism or tourists
just people who don't think and stand in the way oblivious.
(I helped save b3ta! brianftang www.brianftang.co.uk, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:48, archived)
# I always think they look scared.
I get a bit frightened in the tube sometimes, everyone seems to know where they're going almost immediately, and you're NOT ALLOWED TO LOOK AT THE TUBE MAP. Ohhhh no, you should know it by heart.

Or at least, that's how some outsiders feel when we have to go to London.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:53, archived)
# Born in London
Brought up in London

Work in London
(I helped save b3ta! Baglady, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:29, archived)
# Then you should expect tourists.
Are you chained there?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:29, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! Damien's Hearse, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:32, archived)
# HAHAHAHAHA
fucking excellent, the guy's face really sell it :)
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:51, archived)