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This is a question Stories of unsurpassed brilliance

This "Week" The suggestion comes from Kroney who muses

"Whilst I was passing through Miami airport at the tender age of 21, I fancied a beer. "ID" said the charming Southerner behind the desk, so I got out my passport and showed it to her.

"You have to be 21," she said. Now this confused me slightly as I had been 21 for several months by this point and my date of birth was staring her in my face.

"I am 21," I replied helpfully "it says so there, look"

"You have to be 21", she said getting angry.

Cut a long story short, I argued, the manager came out, I argued with him before I finally realised that they weren't looking at the date of birth at all. They were looking at the date of *issue*

That would have made me an annoyingly precocious four year old. What examples of unsurpassed mental genius have you experienced?"""""""

(, Mon 21 Nov 2016, 9:24)
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Matilda
A pretty, plump face, with a mouth wide like a frog's. Hair, spun gold, piled atop her head, straggled locks pulled loose and hanging here and there like decorative strands of gilded tinsel. A mind that wasn't quick, conventionally; a furrowed brow and protruding lower lip were the consequences of a question that taxed her brain, but when faced with something that had the slightest hint of prurience it reacted with an alacrity that surprised the lowest-minded of her male colleagues.
Her voice, musical, belied the vapidity of what she generally had to say, or perhaps confirmed it, if you were the type of mean spirited person to make assumptions. No matter. One didn't listen to her for the content, but for the beauty and cadence and tone, as one can listen to a chanteuse singing in a foreign language and be utterly enchanted despite not having a clue what she was singing.

And so it came to pass that one day I was dawdling through reception. I had plenty of tasks that required my attention; despite my best efforts, I hadn't yet been able to shift all my duties into other, more hapless wage slaves, but I wanted to let my eyes drink in this vision of flawed loveliness as she tidied the newspapers on the tables. Her rump, round and rippling, strained against the taut fabric of her dress, outlining each buttock and the heavenly crevasse between. She knew I was watching. It was harmless ogling, enjoyed by both of us, encouraged by her as she shifted her hams, causing the material to run deliciously together.

The silence was rent asunder by the loudest, longest fart I'd ever heard. She finished - shook it out, or so it appeared to me - with a slight wobble, as though she was teasing the last of the ketchup from a glass bottle, before standing up straight, turning on her stiletto heel and winking at me. For my part, I ejaculated instantly and so rapidly that it made my testes ache. I had to run to the toilet and clean myself up as best I could. It remains to this day the most powerfully erotic experience of my life. She left soon after, following a complaint from a client which involved a pubic hair floating in his cup of tea. The lucky bastard. I've have paid good money for that.
(, Tue 20 Dec 2016, 21:15, closed)
Fuck off skagr...oh, wait

(, Wed 21 Dec 2016, 0:18, closed)
Brilliant
Almost worthy of me!

XXXXXXXXX
(, Wed 21 Dec 2016, 0:28, closed)
Reading this made my teeth ache.

(, Wed 21 Dec 2016, 9:20, closed)
(notso)salubriuousdentes

(, Wed 21 Dec 2016, 11:40, closed)
you talk funny

(, Wed 21 Dec 2016, 14:02, closed)
Oh look, it's Russell Brand.

(, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 8:38, closed)
Very good!

(, Tue 3 Jan 2017, 22:11, closed)
Alright, Ken.

(, Thu 5 Jan 2017, 9:08, closed)

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