Biggest opportunity I've blownNot Alan Partridge tells us: "I was once offered the chance to co-present a programme on national radio. Audience of millions, but blew up spectacularly, my entire contribution being the rustling of paper in the background. I was that bad, I have since burned my copy of the pilot show." Tell us about your big break, and how you messed it up.
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 3 Apr 2014, 14:22)
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Euthanasia. When I was younger a local neighbourhood kid had caught autism. This manifested itself in him being terrified of dogs. He was loathe to trust them and found them abhorrent.
One summer day he was out playing with a broom when a Greyfriars Bobby wandered over. The boy became energetically unusual. Crying. Spinning round and round. Slapping his head Babbitt style. Hilarious.
His mum decided this was the perfect chance to cure him of autism and told him "don't be scared. He's harmless. Stroke him."
With the old autism instantly fixed he confidently ruffled the dogs hair and called it a good lad.
The dog wasn't having that and bit him on the guts.
Disaster. It cranked the autism back up to eleven. Instantly lousing up the kids chance of ever going to a normal school. Sensing this, the young chap hit back. By hitting back. He punched the dog right in the heart, embarrassing it in front of all of us.
So autistic children and dogs. There is good and bad on both sides but it's rarely ever the children that get put down. Fuck you John Major.
(, Thu 3 Apr 2014, 15:19, 4 replies)
This is going to win,right?
(, Thu 3 Apr 2014, 16:07, closed)
"Caught autism(, Thu 3 Apr 2014, 16:08, closed)
Aye, it's catchinghave you even looked in /talk recently?
(, Thu 3 Apr 2014, 16:47, closed)
I often put my children down.It's good practice for coming on here.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 3 Apr 2014, 17:03,
closed)
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