I wrote it in Spanish so I'll make no apologies...
Fui a España en Julio dos mil uno de vacaciones,
Fui con mi familia y Nuestros amigos la familia Burch.
Quedamos en un gran chalet cerca de Gandia.
Un día fuimos a Valencia en tren.
Volvímos a las cuatro de la tarde.
La familia Burch fueron al supermercado.
MI familia jugaron en la piscina y yo leí un libro.
Después de un rato me decidí entrar en la casa a buscar la cámara.
Al entrar en nuestra habitación ví mi cartera sobre la cama.
Al abrir mi cartera ví que todo el dinero había desaparecido.
¡ Nos habían robado !
Me llamé al representante de vacaciones "Wilf".
Wilf llamó la Guardia Civil. Dos guardias vinieron de Gandia.
Inspeccionaron el chalet y vieron que la habitactión de la familia Burch estaba muy desordenada.
Preguntaron “¿Estuvo el ladrón en Esta habitación ?”
Dije “No sé”.
Las guardias dijeron que tuvimos que ir a la Comisaria en Tavernes por la Mañana y salieron.
La familia Burch volvió más tarde.
Nos dijeron que nada faltaba de su habitación.
Ellos habían abandonardo su habitacion desordenada!
Por la mañana Wilf nos acompañó a la Comisaría.
Era nuestro traductor.
Esperamos un hora en una pequeña habitación en la Comisaria pero hizo el trabajo adminstrativo rápidamente.
(gearanach #wankwankwank, Fri 17 May 2013, 18:37, 9 replies)

Speak English or die.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7rpVRnuAcQ
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 May 2013, 18:43, closed)

Twat...
I went to Spain in July two thousand and one holiday,
I went with my family and our family friends Burch.
We were in a large villa near Gandia.
One day we went to Valencia by train.
We returned at four in the afternoon.
The Burch family went to the supermarket.
MY family played in the pool and I read a book.
After a while I decided to go into the house to get the camera.
Upon entering our room I saw my wallet on the bed.
When opening my wallet I saw that all the money was gone.
We were robbed!
I called the holiday rep "Wilf".
Wilf called the Guardia Civil. Two guards came from Gandia.
They inspected the house and saw the Burch family habitactión was very messy.
Asked "Was the thief in this room?"
I said "do not know".
The guards said they had to go to the Commissioner Morning Tavernes and left.
The Burch family returned later.
We were told that nothing was missing from his room.
They had abandonardo your room messy!
Wilf morning accompanied us to the police station.
It was our translator.
We waited a hour in a small room in the Commissioner but did the job quickly administral.

I should have left it in Spanish...
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Fri 17 May 2013, 18:50, closed)

He left out the part where some kid burnt his neck.
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Fri 17 May 2013, 19:00, closed)

I hate it when people abandonardo my room messy.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 May 2013, 21:02, closed)

No habla espanol.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 18 May 2013, 2:57, closed)

neither do I
or so it would appear.
(gearanach #wankwankwank, Sat 18 May 2013, 12:28, closed)

You say you went to France and some kid burnt your neck?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 18 May 2013, 12:46, closed)

Aléjate de mis cubos de basura.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:41, closed)