ian
ian was a nurse who worked nights when i was in hospital many years ago. he was known to me because his sister was engaged to my brother at the time. he was great to talk to when i couldn't sleep, watched telly with me when it was quiet, he even calmed me down when i had a nightmare about a fox eating my nose.
the best thing he used to do, though, was to collect money from patients who would be nil by mouth from midnight, then bugger off to the local chippy and get us all a chinese meal about 9 o'clock.
not exactly standard practice, but it made the patients happy!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 18 May 2013, 15:17, 9 replies)

He gave pre-op nil-by-mouth patients something to eat?
The reason that is "not exactly standard practice" is that people can and do choke to death under anaesthetic if they've not fasted.

Have I missed a joke here or are you telling us about a complete fucking moron?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 18 May 2013, 17:28, closed)

9 o clock..
..is three hours before "stop eating o'clock"

You just need to leave time for it all to gutter out of your stomach into the lower tuberage so it's beyond the non-return valve.
(Catalina is sitting and thinking about it till, Sat 18 May 2013, 18:12, closed)

we weren't nil by mouth until midnight
even the other nurses wouldn't stop patients from eating things brought in for them until at least 11.30. if that's wrong, then it's happening in lots of hospitals. at least he gave us food 3 hours before the deadline.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 18 May 2013, 18:21, closed)

Ah right. I assumed he was buying food after the deadline.
Otherwise the story is just "nurse nips to shops".
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 18 May 2013, 18:52, closed)

i know
but with all the bitching i've heard about the NHS over the years, it's the little things like that that can make a scared patient happy
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 18 May 2013, 19:01, closed)

I blame Amorous Badger.
I mean ... not just for that ... for everything.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 18 May 2013, 19:16, closed)

heheh

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 18 May 2013, 20:30, closed)

What's your brother now,
if not still your brother?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 19 May 2013, 22:43, closed)

a cunt, mostly

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 21 May 2013, 14:11, closed)