Mrs Thatcher

I could go on a rant of, "How much do I hate thee? Let me count the ways.." but I've done that in the past on QOTW and, to be honest, that gets a bit tedious and it's had me kicked out of the local Conservative Club too many times to be funny anymore.

So I make a solemn vow.

I don't care if I'm arrested, charged and do time for it but it WILL happen.

When she dies, and wherever they bury the bitch, I'm going to breach the security and dance on her fucking grave. To The Birdie Song.

"With a little bit of this and a little bit of that and shake your arse" - A fitting send off......



Oh! And Gordan - you wall-eyed porridge-wog? Given the chance I'd douse you in petrol and set you on fire. Then I wouldn't piss on you.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 13:01, 45 replies)

Not the Birdie Song
Tramp the dirt down.

We can do a duet
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 13:04, closed)

It's just a shame...
...Thatchula's managed to stay alive for so long.
It would have been much more fun if she'd gone during/just after she wrecked the country.

P.S. I'll help you get past security when the time comes.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 13:04, closed)

Only the good
Die young

or

You cannot kill that which doesn't live
(Sir Tainley Barking Ezekiel 23:20, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 14:16, closed)

Nice one
Well put. Couldn't agree more.

However, I must point out that the watery mud you'll be dancing about in will likely be my urine
(Barry Subchimp, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 13:15, closed)

Looking for any backup dancers?
I've been meaning to invest in some clogs...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 13:23, closed)

You think you hate her now?
Wait 'til the bitch dies and EVERYONE comes on the telly, saying how she was a "great statesman" and "I respected her even if I didn't always agree with her" Blair, Brown every mother fucker who ever met her, because apparently once someone is dead you cannot call them a rancid old hag who fucked the entire country without lube for over a decade.

then there will be the state funeral...
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 4 Feb 2010, 13:43, closed)

She should do us all a favour and die while Labour are in power
If she keels over when Cameron is PM, there will be a national day of mourning.

Anyway, how can the undead die?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 14:11, closed)

On the plus side
free day off. An added bonus!
(richardm, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 16:21, closed)

Did
you sign this

petitions.number10.gov.uk/thatchfuneral/
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 18:58, closed)

Wall eyed porridge wog?
So, you've got a thing against disabled people as well as the Scots? Good thing you live in Australia you overbearing prick, that way you avoid contaminating us with your cuntish beliefs.

What a fucking tool.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 13:44, closed)

Would you say the same to Clarkson?

( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 4 Feb 2010, 14:07, closed)

yes
I would
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 14:21, closed)

Well, at least you stick to your beliefs.
Mind you... chill out chap, it's just a turn of phrase.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 4 Feb 2010, 15:09, closed)

?
Perhaps he just hates unelected self rightously smug tossers supporting anyone with their hand in the public trough ?
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 15:36, closed)

You ignorant twat
Gordon Brown was elected, he is an MP. A majority of his constituents voted for him. Thus he is in no way 'unelected'.

If you are referring to him not being leader of the Labour Party when they won the last general election, so fucking what? The UK has a party based, majority government, not a presidential one. The party with the most seats is asked to form the government. That party's leader is the Prime Minister. The leader can change as many times during the life of a parliament (a maximum of five years) as need be with no need to call an election.

You vote for your local MP, NOT the Prime Minister, unless you happen to live in the constituency of a party leader, in which case it will be about as safe a seat as you can get and if you don't support that party then tough shit.

So how exactly is Gordon Brown 'unelected'?

Ignorant twat.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 15:59, closed)

Ah, but that's the iniquities of the first past the post system chap.
Being that only a minority of people ever actually voted for him. And right now he's about as popular as testicular cancer.

Oh sure now he wants to introduce proportional representation, establishing a written constitution and finally abolishing the hereditary principle among many other populist measures designed to appease the intelligent classes but frankly it's too little, too late. And I certainly didn't elect him. Given that he was therefore elected by a small minority in what is effectively a different country (sorry Scotland), therefore this in mine and many others is grossly undemocratic and therefore can be considered unelected. Maybe on his home ground. Not here. Add to that the man is plainly incompetent.

Another point worth considering is that his style of government is becoming increasingly presidential, despite the fact the style of government he is supposed to follow is the primes inter pares approach, he clearly isn't doing this. If he styles himself as a president (which requires a completely different vote), and acts as one, then he should be elected as one. But he wasn't.

The system we have is grossly unfair and allows for massive swathes of the country to have their votes effectively ignored. We all know how the system works, but that doesn't mean that we have to like it. Ever heard of Charter 88?

/Edit

I'm bunging this on the main page, I have my answer now.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 4 Feb 2010, 17:04, closed)

Indeed, FPTP is a deeply flawed system
It's not Gordon Brown's fault though. And FPTP does avoid continual coalition governments and normally gives a working majority to governments so that they can do their job.

And I have signed Charter 88. When I was 15. 15 years ago. But thanks for drawing my attention to it and not being in the least bit patronising.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 17:40, closed)

Roughly how I feel about our democratic process right now...
I agree with Spider Jerusalem.

Bread and circuses for the rich. Slavery for the poor.
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 18:06, closed)

(coff) Touched a nerve perhaps ?
So you've no objection to the "self rightously smug tosser supporting anyone with their hand in the public trough" I take it ?

Brown is a "leader" by default, he's a smarmy little self centered roach of a man who has the job entirely due to the weakness of the Blair cabinet.
He made a good populist chancellor but wasn't even bright enough to walk away from the trainwreck he'd been allowed to create when offered the shiny shiny job of running the country into the ground.
He's the bully we've been saddled with rather than the leader we want.

I'll cough to using the wrong word in "unelected", perhaps I should say "undeserving" instead.

Oh, and fuck you. You half arsed, shitesucking, limpwristed, dicklizard.
Does that satisfy your desire for pointless insults, or would you prefer me fisting your mum with a handfull of swarfega ?
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 18:01, closed)

Pointless insults?
What pointless insults? I pointed out that you'd got your knickers horrifically in a twist over a rather splendid example of not knowing the first thing about the electoral system in this country, yet still having a major opinion on the Government. That little dichotomy really tickles me pink.

Offered the shiny shiny job? You do realise that he's been in the running to take over from Tony for the ten years or so he was chancellor for. Everybody else knew, were you in the toilet when that particular reveal happened? That's hardly being offered a job, it's called succession planning. Every major organisation does it.

One more thing- your little gem which is 'populist chancellor'. You weren't hating on him in the boom years were you? The global recession wasn't caused by Gordon. He's not that powerful you know.

Swarfega please, I understand necrophilia is quite the thing these days.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 18:22, closed)

Christ on a bike...
You're really not paying attention here are you.

1) "Ignorant twat" is pointing out nothing. If you wanted to impart information you'd have done it, and done it gently. What you wanted, and still want, is a soapbox that lets you wave your tackle at the viewing public.
Here it is, enjoy. I'm going to be eating popcorn and watching you dance dizzily around with your tiny dick out until you come down off the sugar high and puke in a corner.


2) If by "in the running" you mean "salivating at the very thought" or "hopping up and down saying 'oh, sir.! Me sir, me meemeee!!!'" until the entire country buried their heads in their hands when Blair gave the baby his cookie. Yeah in the running it is.
He was, and is, an embarrasment.
He's demonstrated over and over again that he couldn't be trusted with a Bank of Peckham credit card, never mind the economy what used to be a large country.
Spend it on toys lads. Fuck the rent and bills, we'll make people pay double next time!


3) The fucking boom years. Fuck off, fuck right off.
The "boom years" saw me digging my chums out of economic holes that the benefits system suddenly wouldn't cover because they weren't disbled _enough_ any more.
Saw my girlfriend's paranoid schizophrenic* mother moved from a tiny flat in a quiet north London suburb into a larger flat in that lovely area of Brixton where even the drug dealers walk around in pairs. For reasons of "efficiency".
Saw my local police station closed and the officers scattered around the Borough to the extent that a patrol car can take 25 minutes to get to the scene of an oops now fatal, stabbing.
Saw me, lazy arse that I am, actually writing to my fucking MP (Andrew Dismore, a chap I would _not_ buy a used car from) after having my bike stolen for the Nth time by the local kids who had _nothing_ to do since the budget for the youth center had been spent on such delights as planting fucking daffodils across the Borough and graffiti removal.
Saw Best Beloved, come home from school with tear tracks down her face because one of the bastard kids had brought some of his dad's mates round to the school with bits of scaffolding pole and 2x4 to settle a score and now one of the other teachers who tried to intervene was in hospital with a shattered skull and might or might not live.

The boom years only counted as a boom if you already had your stack of bloodstained Thatcherite cash by that point. To a lot of people they were the uncertainty years, followed swiftly by the fear of leaving the house years, and we're now languishing in the Oh fuck we're screwed years.
For Yae, though Gordon giveth with the left hand, he taketh back twofold with the right...


4) The global recession ? The one that's been caused by idiots in the banking sector buying penniless chavscum 52" plasma TVs that the illusion of "boom" had allowed them to seem like they'd be able to pay for. Then when the lovely rose tinted bubble burst being given an eye wateringly large wedge of _my_ cash on the basis that they might give it back one day, if they feel like it, because the post Thatcher economy relies so heavily on the financial sector that we can't even _think_ of letting anyone** take their own losses ?
Aaand breathe

5) I'll get my marigolds.


You seem to like Gordon Brown. You seem to like what he and his government have done with the country.
I don't.
I think he's exactly as corrupt, conniving, and dishonourable as Blair was and Cameron will be. He's not honest enough to admit his fuck ups and not competent at hiding them.

But fuck, this isn't about Brown, economics, or politics is it.
This is about your opinions and your desire to shove them in people's faces.
So go on, dance monkeyboy, dance. Everyone's watching, and we all care _so_ much.


*An actual one, very mental, with paperworks and nurses and everything
**Except the small investor of course, they knew the risks when they gave us their money...
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 19:40, closed)

Calm down dude
I don't love Gordon Brown. You're making a lot of personal points about the country. You've embarassed yourself already with your low level understanding of the subject at hand.

What I will say is that one man's personal experiences do not accurately reflect the actual situation between 1997 and 2010. It's like people saying that global warming must be a load of nonsense because we've had a particularly cold winter.

None of the points you made in your original post on this page were correct and as such are invalid. The willy waving is taking place solely on your part, not mine.

But, as you've so kindly numbered your responses, allow me to do the same:

1) It is pointing out that you were displaying a fair degree of ignorance in your original post and proudly displaying that ignorance as the basis of your discontent with the Government.

2)I don't see what you mean by 'used to be a large country'. The geographical area of the United Kingdom is more or less the same as it was when John Major moved out of Downing Street. The UK is also substantially richer than it was then.

3) By 'boom years' I meant the longest period of uninterrupted economic growth that this country has enjoyed. That is a fact, look it up. Granted we have just had a recession, but 97-2007 to all intents and purposes were boom years. Just because things were bad where you lived does not mean it was like that everywhere else. Get some perspective.

4) Nobody forced people to take out credit they couldn't pay back. And your understanding of the causes of the recession are very, very basic. US bankers created financial instruments that, like all such instruments, rely on risk to generate a return. What they did was sold mortgages to people in the US who could not pay them back, spreading the risk around (as one should) and then selling these packets of debt on at a profit. When those people who were mis-sold their mortgages couldn't pay them back in droves, the whole thing came down. Nothing to do with 'penniless chavscum' and 52 inch plasma TVs. Nice classism there to go with the general ignorance.

Highly amusing that you state that it's all about my opinions. Mine are based in fact. Yours appear to be rehashed versions of tabloid misunderstandings and hysterical flag waving.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 20:15, closed)

(eyeroll)
Your croissant and wineglass are on the table over by the window.

You'll have to provide your own newspaper.
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 10:11, closed)

That's an excellent response
There's nothing smug about knowing facts and using them to back up reasoned arguments. Was that really the best you could come up with?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 11:49, closed)

Point 3
Agree totally.

Boom year? Boom created by 1 in 4 people paying for utility bills on credit cards. Boom for the banks and no-one else. The only reason the country had *growth* is because it was being boyed by credit - hence the cretinous state we're in now.

As to Brown's "No-one could have seen this coming..." bollocks, utter tosh. I saw it bloody coming and sold my house and many other things at exactly the right time. How did I see it and he didn't? Easy, things like this go in cycles (gold prices for one thing), I simply created a graph showing house prices against inflation and interest rates since the end of WWII and you could see clearly where it was heading. Add into the mix, the fact that at that time 1 in 4 people were paying household bills on credit cards (according to Which!), and you have a very serious recipe for disaster.

So, I believe your point 3 is spot on. The 'boom years' were nothing but a statistical illusion, an illusion that we are paying for now.

There's little difference between that and the shafting that Thatcher gave us in the 80's; and yet, the parties involved are supposed to be poles apart.
(dchurch bah, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 9:51, closed)

I'm Afraid

There's this new technology called "the interwebs". It means I can sit in the sunshine, in Australia, and still contaminate you with my cuntish beliefs. Love it!

And a thing against disabled people? - Not really (Except one guy I knew when I was at school. Thalidomide kid. Right twat he was...) The wall-eyed crack was an observation. He *is* wall-eyed and sticking your head in the sand ain't going to change that sunshine.

Or maybe it was the term porridge-wog that pressed your buttons. True, the term is undeniably offensive but, in my defence, I was introduced to it by one of my Scottish mates. He was also fond of referring to me as a sassenach or an effete English puff (lacist!) but as he's a minority insulting one of the majority I think that's OK in todays PC world.

But I suspect your outrage stems from the fact that I had a pop at Gordon Brown and calling me a racist or disabalist was just a convenient hook to hang your ire. So let's talk about Gordon shall we?

Apart from his glaring defects, so ably pointed out by other posters, one of my main reasons for despising the man is that he invited Margaret Thatcher to tea at Downing Street. That act alone was a kick in the teeth to all of us who lived through the 80's and the destruction of Britain's manufacturing base.

He lauded her as "A politician of conviction" which is perfectly true. But so was Hitler, Genghis Kahn and Pol Pot.

Gordon Brown is a crawling lick-spittle of a man who shouldn't even be a MEMBER of the Labour party, never mind the leader. He's an oaf, a bully, a brain-dead moron and a traitor to his party and his country (Scotland).

He's also going to responsible for the greatest defeat at the polls in modern history. I suspect the size of the Tories next victory will be even bigger than Labour rout of the Tories in 1997. So not content with running the country into the ground he's also managed to run the Labour party into the ground and he'll be responsible for ushering in at least 10 years of Tory misrule.

And you're defending the guy.

Cheers

No gratuitous insults were used during the writing of this post
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 23:07, closed)

No, Legless
My annoyance was triggered by using a man's disability to insult him, and using his nationality/ethnic background to berate him.

If somebody was to refer to say, Stevie Wonder, as a 'white stick waving nigger' I'd find that pretty offensive.

I'm no great fan of Gordon Brown. I squirmed when he invited Thatcher to Number 10. I do think in many ways he is politically spineless but I can separate in my mind the politician from the person.

Sassenach does not translate as effete English puff. It translates as 'lowlander'.

Alright?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 13:09, closed)

Close

But no cigar. Sassenach translates as Saxon. It has been used to describe a "lowlander" but the literal translation is Saxon.

And, trust me on this, Gordon Brown, Tony Blair, and that fucking evil paedophile, Mandleson can be ripped apart on, not what that say, but what they do.

But I'll give you a quick tip on making friends and influencing people.

You called me "an overbearing prick" with "cuntish beliefs" and was a "fucking tool"

You then went on to call anyone who had the effrontery to disagree with you as an "ignorant twat", or a "half arsed, shitesucking, limpwristed, dicklizard" then swarfega and necrophila came into it and I totally lost whatever the fuck you were on about.

Just a guess - but have you lost your virginity yet? (your Dad doesn't count)?

Cheers

And you can
f...f..f...f..fuck o..o...o..ff...you..c..c..c..cunt

Gimp
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 14:09, closed)

No Legless
The usage of 'ignorant twat' was not because someone disagreed with me, it's because they didn't understand the reality of what they were complaining so vociferously about. If someone disagrees with me, fine, no problem, but when they come out with garbage as the basis of their argument then that is ignorance and twattery. I'm sure you'll agree with me on that, seeing as I got the sassenach/ Saxon thing wrong.

Tips on making friends? I don't want you to be my friend. OK? You're just someone that posts on the same website I do. That doesn't require friendship, just the ability to type www.b3ta.com into a browser.

The "half arsed, shitesucking, limpwristed dicklizard" quote was not one of mine. It's that other guy's. So was the reference to swarfega. He offered to give my dead mum a good fisting with swarfega. Hence the reference to necrophilia.

Why does it always come down to accusations of virginity? I lost mine when I was 15. I'm now 30. I don't find it insulting to be asked if I'm a virgin, quite the opposite, I find it very funny.

OK? Do you want me to go through all that again for you, but slowly?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 14:22, closed)

"He offered to give my dead mum a good fisting with swarfega!"

I lol'd.
( andyt, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 10:31, closed)

queue
There's gonna be a massive queue to Thatchers grave I reckon.
(phe, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 14:34, closed)

(thinx)
I was hoping to get a whole "Busby Berkley musical happening" thing going on...

Couple of dozen dancers, possibly doing "Ding Dong the witch is dead" film the result, up on youtube and see how many people want to give us money/sex/chocolate just for existing.*

Worth a try.

*Possibly a number approaching zero, from the underside
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 15:28, closed)

I've Got A Eulogy

part-written for whenever someone finally stakes the bitch and it's titled "Ding-Dong, The Witch Is Dead"


Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 23:09, closed)

Sweet.
What do you think, Miner's or shipbuilder's costume ?
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 10:15, closed)

I'm
from Geordieland so I think I'll have to go with the miners....

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 10:27, closed)

Porridge-wog
Love it.
(kitescreech still here, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 16:21, closed)

Porridge-wog.
YAS!!!!!
( bland is bland, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 10:29, closed)

Why don't we
try to predict where she'll be buried, and start now, before she dies, so that she can see what'll happen once she's safely under the ground.

Best do it soon as her mind is going - I wouldn't want her to think that we've all forgiven and forgotten.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 17:15, closed)

Every time I see her face on/in the news
a little* part of me hopes that she's snuffed it, in a slow, painful and unpleasant way, and I can cartwheel down the street waving the flag.

* little part = that bit between my toenails and my hair.

Edit: clicked- really, really hard
(randomstupidname would really like this signature field to be bigge, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 21:02, closed)

I'm a teacher
and Mrs Thatcher has sooooo much to answer for to anyone who's been educated since her election. Tories introduced the National Curriculum Tests, and Labour use them to glorify their existence and villify the educators every five years

I'd dance on her grave, but Dance seemed to disappear off the curriculum several years ago, to be replaced by More Boring Crap Designed To Give Kids An Inferiority Complex

(sorry - a bit close to my heart)
( The Lone Groover has mal des nuts., Thu 4 Feb 2010, 22:01, closed)

I don't think you'll be able to dance on the grave
synchronised swimming, maybe. But personally I don't fancy swimming in piss.
( kappynitty doubled your entendre on, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 10:34, closed)

Having just read through all of these posts
Can we please have three cheers for Legless and DukeEuphoria?

Marvellous stuff!
(zebby wasting irony here on, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 14:22, closed)

Hip Hip
Hooray!
( The Lone Groover has mal des nuts., Sun 7 Feb 2010, 20:48, closed)

Double burial
I think my life will be complete and I will be at one with the world if Blair was to drop dead on the same day as Thatcher then we could have a double burial and dance on both of them at once.

P.S. Sorry but to even give them Christian names gets me foaming .
(i lick the clit of wife it's better than yoghurt lids, Sun 7 Feb 2010, 21:11, closed)

and for those that need the practice
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeswZaReE0I
(i lick the clit of wife it's better than yoghurt lids, Sun 7 Feb 2010, 21:16, closed)