Well...
I've seemed to avoid fights for most of my life...I did have one in first grade. The lil sonnuva bitch pissed me off I guess...I don't remember much...I tackled him we got in a sissy first grade fight and we ended up in the principal's office with some nail marks in my arm and whatever the fuck I did to him...
(PsychoWardJester hasn't had his weetabix, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 15:34, Reply)

Hitting the hard lad....
When I finally moved to secondary school, 2 primary schools merged.
As I recall we were waiting outside the maths class when one guy from the other primary school started getting letchy towards a girl I was very fond of. I told him to back off but he carried on regardless, so I asked him again, but he blatantly carried on ignoring me. I got very angry with him letching at my friend, and all I had in my pocket was my house keys. I gripped my fist around them then clocked him one. He fell on the floor and all my friends cheered and laughed at him.

For 3 weeks I was the centre of attention with lots of friends. What I didn't realise was he was the hard lad from the other school!

He was my arch enemy for the next 5 years. He'd beat me up one year, then I'd beat him up the next......

We really went at it one year when he kicked my BMX to the floor in the school yard but that's another story.
(a5972s, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 15:25, Reply)

Technically not school but uni so kinda counts
For some reason i never had any fights,well not proper ones,and definitely not with girls-they're vicious! this happened in uni. we'd all been out,some of us had come home earlier than others, not wanting to brave the mardi. 2 of my flatmates had gone there tho,both had decided to enter the wet t-shirt competition. one won, the other got booted out quite early on by all accounts (incidentally she's the same girl from mehmeh's shit on the bed story we'll call her D)but i digress. so me n my other flatmate are sat chilling with a bunch of guys in my room when we hear the other flatmates coming home,screaming at each other. we decide to stay in the room and let them get on with it. til it escalates,the guys were looking kinda embarrassed, so we went to see what was happening. 2 slightly damp blondes,wasted screaming at each other. S (the one who won the competition) wanted D to get out her room. D refused coz she didn't see how calling S a slapper etc would upset her. eventually we managed to convince D to leave but as she was dong so she swung for S.think it did connect but D's not that big. S grabbed D by the hair and threw her out the room. Slammed doors and a bit more screaming and off we all go to bed (after the guys have sneaked out comedically saying hi to the screaming girls on their way out). the best part was next day D comes out the shower and shows us her bald patch where S has ripped her hair out!and neither of them could remember anything about the night before (or at least claimed they couldn't). see,women are vicious!
(fuck_a_duck, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 15:09, Reply)

i predict a riot-then cause one
'twas one fine day in the month of... well i can't remember but all good stories start thusly.
anyhoo, it was the beginnign of a pre-lunch period of 'PSE' that delightful lesson where an embarassed teacher tries to explain sex and the prospect of nuclear war to a bunch of puerile 14year-old twats. we had a 'careers adviser' guesting as said teacher. now the lesson after lunch was double period art, the island of fun for me in an otherwise miserable week (ok graph. des was good too-aided by the young friendly hot tutor- miss barden if you're out there, you're the reason i'm a graphic designer now :) anyway back to the story.
i as usual have my art pencilcase with me, the only thing of value i own is a lovely set of magic markers in all the colours of the rainbow. now pretty soon i see my mate matt's face across the table grinnign like an idiot right at me. he then proceeds to spit the mangled lid of one of my babies, complete with mouthful of magenta ink, acros the table onto my white shirt. it is at this point that i realise that my art case is gone and push the table pretty hard. he goes back into the cupboard doors with a mighty bang, and is pinned. i start shouting 'where's my fucking pencilcase you shit?!?!' and the little woman pipes up 'quiet please children. i turn to explain that my pencilcase is gone and one of my markers hits me in the face from across the other side of the room. so now the pencilcase is out of my control. i get a little.. irate and start throttling my mate. he fights back and being twice my size manages to almost subdue me.. all the while the teacher is screaming at us, the shower of markers is increasing and being joined by other classroom stuff, pretty soon tables are being overturned, people are cheering, the mentally unstable kid has somehow got inot the stationery cupboard and is now in the fucking CEILING kicking tiles through and whooping.. the careers woman runs out sobbing her heart out and never returns, and we all get 8-page essays on why what we did was wrong. my statement of "i was in the right and merely reacting to the theft of my pencilcase which would have been avoided if that silly woman had been able to keep control of a class full of 'children'" didn't go down too well.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 15:03, Reply)

eightAce
Naah, there's lots of us, seems credible enough - and half the stories are about getting a hammering rather than dishing one out.

I, for example, once spun a kid through 360 degrees (a somersault then!) by the elbow on a train, just by fluke handling - a perfect martial arts move. I don't know martial arts for shit, but every now and again you get lucky.

No legendary fights though, hence my (otherwise) silence.
(InfiniteZenMaster, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 14:49, Reply)

he kneed my arse
i moved to a new school in primary 6, i was a bit of a cocky youngster at that time and i can remember strolling into the classroom wearing my leather jacket sporting a bouffant sideflick and my headgear bag slung over my shoulder - my new classmates looked on in awe and immediately assumed me to be hard as fuck. ho ho.

time went by and i acted the part and people seemed to buy it, all it seemed was good and well. then one day the school poofter (the boy was as camp as a row of pink tents) started to hassle me, kicking and slapping me with his ruler. this, i made it clear to him would result in the booting of his cunt after class. he cheerfully accepted his fate.

at the start of the fight i remmember delivering the most almighty right hook - completely missing the mincing fairy in front of me, swinging almost completely round. He made his move. The bastard took me from behind, bent me over and started kneeing me in the arse!.. he was a bit too heavy for me to shake off and i eventually started crying from the humiliation.

Unsurprisingly enough, turns out the boy is gay.. i sometimes wonder if that was the catylist
( null and void, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 14:43, Reply)

yep! I agree below!
re: perl 5.0.2th dan?
given most of the people on here are on the geeky side of life, is anyone else having a hard time believing the "I'm a secret martial arts wizard with a deeply chivalrous nature" type stories?

YEH big style, sounds like a 12 year old!
(ruud316, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 14:31, Reply)

re: perl 5.0.2th dan?
given most of the people on here are on the geeky side of life, is anyone else having a hard time believing the "I'm a secret martial arts wizard with a deeply chivalrous nature" type stories?
(eightAce, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 14:25, Reply)

Just a quickie
While at primary school me and a mate were kicking a ball around in afternoon break when a couple of lads from the year above come along and take said ball. My mate wimpers away but me being tiny and strangely full of confidence walks over to them.

The usual game of piggy in the middle starts after a couple of turns i get tired so decide to charge at one of them who quickly throws the ball to his mate. A look of shock comes on his face as i continue to run at him and then kick him in the nuts as hard as i can. One down and i chase the other round the play ground until he drops the ball. The only way out of piggy in the middle if your the shortest person involved.

Just wish i had the length to try that kinda thing nowadays.
(hairymonkey, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 14:17, Reply)

My crowning moment of glory
The shittiest little shit in my year at secondary school was called...let's call him Glenn Brigham, for that was his name and he does not deserve anonymity.

I had a bit of a problem at that age (14) in that I had gone through puberty a couple of years before any of the other girls and was already wearing E cup bras. To add to this, the rest of my body hadn't quite caught up yet and so I had that skinny-body-plus-comedy-breasts look favoured by porn stars. This led a large proportion of the boys at school to believe I was a slut who would let them feel me up in class.

Glenn was no exception. On this occasion he had me pinned up against the wall of my tutor room, one hand on my breasts and one up my skirt, as his homies hollered misogynistic support for his antics. I tried to knee him in the bollocks as any sensible girl would but he kept dodging me somehow. Finally, I landed a spectacular slap to the face...except that I didn't. I missed by a couple of centimetres and succeeded only in causing his glasses to fly across the room and into the face of the deputy headteacher who had just walked into the room.

The deputy headteacher was a fearsome, menopausal, overweight, overbearing, Classic FM-listening nightmare. Actually she was a pretty decent person, but very strict and absolutely the last person you would want to witness such a scene.

As Glenn and his cronies whooped victoriously, she hauled me out into the corridor and demanded an explanation for my atrocious behaviour.

She didn't say anything to me. She simply opened the classroom door again, shoved me back in and hauled Glenn out. We didn't see him for the rest of the day.
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 13:56, Reply)

I coulda been a contender...
Being built like Joey Ramone might have been cool when I was 13, but it wasnt much use being a skinny, lanky streak of piddle whilst being attacked by the local psychos. As a result of numerous beatings, I took up a friends offer to learn how to box and was introduced to the trainer who looked me up and down and decided that with my light weight and long reach I might be quite a good prospect. So, two weeks of training, and working on punch bags, heavy bags and watching others, with an optimistic trainer and bursting with self belief I am ready to spar.

My opponent shows up and is a good foot smaller than my 6', a crowd gathers to see my first one on one. The bell goes and I approach, as he gets near I give him a stiff jab which backs him up - waahey! So I throw another, same thing. And again and again - this is easy.

Wrong! All of a sudden he races forward and belts me square in the face, I drop my guard and he then proceeds to beat the living daylights out of me as I screamed 'fuck off, fuck off' at him.

I never returned but did decide from that day forward if I was ever attacked I would either run like hell or get a large heavy object and try to kill my assailant with it.
(DrTugnut, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 13:15, Reply)

Oh another..
When in sixth form my mate dave, is a bit of a y'know homophobe. Big time. You only have to touch him to get a response.
Well we had a pool table in our common room, and he was playing against someone who had what could only be described as a "porn tash", they got a bit agressive on the table.
Quickly moving on to the "Your mum.." comments and the guy with the porn tash says daves dad is a dirty bum lover.

He saw red, he lashed out at the tash with the slowest punch you've seen but still managing to hit him.

This became a brawl with me in between trying to break it up.
It spilts up, but not for long as the tash throws pool balls at dave and the whole things back where is started and i break it up again.

The porn tash goes outside, and runs tound the building and in a fit of anger comes back in the common room picks up a chair and flings its at dave, i tackle porn tash and another mate stops dave.

The teacher comes in and from what i believe they both broke down in tears in front of her.

Pah.
(insanegl0ss saw the grass on the pitch..., Mon 13 Mar 2006, 13:14, Reply)

one of those
In our primary school they're were 2 groups of friends mainly (except that kid who smells of piss).

One day, stones were being thrown back and forth between the 2 groups.
This escalated rapidly into a "war", complete with sniper tactics etc.

After all the dinner breaks had ended, hometime approached and a lot of people were ready in their 10 year old minds.

Cue outside the school, plenty of insults (the ones you could muster without too much vocabulary) and more stones.

Well i at that time had the aim of a drunken parkinsons patient. Horrible.
The ringleader shouted at me and basically said i couldnt throw.

I instantly picked up a stick the size of an arm and launched it at him.
It hit him square on the head.
He started crying, everything stopped and being the kids that they were they came up saying i could of caused him brain cancer and all that.

They left me alone after that.
(insanegl0ss saw the grass on the pitch..., Mon 13 Mar 2006, 13:02, Reply)

oh look someones nicked my idea!
I posted this ages ago in what should we ask for question of the week! See!

Best or worst school fight!
I've seen some right lame fights in my time, from gay slapping boys (kids who cant keep their fist staight while punching) to huge bully gets chased and repetedly punched in the head by small syphco kid. Not forgetting classic grapple fans, two kids both in head locks rolling about, and pissed people in a keebab house who try and throw the heaviest punch in the world and spinning round in a comedy manner.

Tell me of your fight stories, with fisty cuff's detail, and place and loction, dont forget the gobby bi-stander girl friend!
(ruud316, Fri 17 Feb 2006, 9:44 , Delete , Edit )

Any way.

Fights at school were normaly a piss poor afair with headlocks and rolling about on the floor/grass depending on rain, sun wind conditions etc. ARF!

The best one I ever saw was the 3rd year bully coming across the play ground to pummel the head of the small 11 year old who hade hit him with a football.

What the bully didn't realise is, that this kid although small was a bit nuts! (I think his name was John???? Who cares!)

The bully got him him a head lock, but then the small child grabs his nuts and squeeeeeeezed! Also while bitting his arm! Yelling the pully tried to punch the kid, where he kicked him in the nuts. The bully fell over and procceded to have his head jumped on by sycho boy.

This continued untill stopped by a passing teacher.

The bully stopped bulling after that, so a nice moral ending too.

Also have you noticed but most people forgett they have legs when they fight! Grapple fans!
(ruud316, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 12:32, Reply)

Oh no, the memories...
I only had a couple of notable fights at school as I tended to just take the lumps because, well, I've done my share of Martial Arts from quite a young age. Knowing that the guy hitting you (generally so badly it doesn't actually hurt) could walk away from the fight on 2 broken legs tends to make up for the fact that actually breaking them would be more trouble than it's worth.

Anyhoo. Once upon a time about 3 weeks before I left school at 18 I got into a SUPERB fight with a guy I can only describe as a complete and utter, unmitigated arse-fucking, wanking flange bastard. Nope, sorry, I STILL haven't gotten across my contempt for him. Still, on with the story.

He decided to take a bit of frustration out on a new kid, about 13 years old, by giving him a slap on the back of the head. He was a bully, and I told him if he did that again I'd ensure he never did it again. This had been brewing and I was seeing red. He laughed and walked off.

About half an hour later we passed in a deserted corridor. Where, rather predictably he asked me quite how I would ensure he would never do it again. Punctuating his words with the odd punch.

Have you ever seen the fight in "Grosse Point Blank"? It was something like that (he was actually quite skilled, in Tae Kwan Do I think it was) but instead of stabbing him in the throat with a pen I broke his wrist. I then put him over my shoulder and walked him screaming and crying like a girl to the school nurse who called him an ambulance.

I then sat outside the headmaster's office, of my own free will, until he came back when I told him exactly what had happened and why it happened. I was, of course in a shit load of trouble, but tempered by the fact that I had done something that all the staff thought was more than appropriate. Off the record, of course.

Don't beat me up for the length, I'm sorry, OK?
(Woodgie is back, but for how long?, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 12:20, Reply)

When I look back on it, I've had quite a lot of school fights.
I remember one rather enjoyable fight that I had with this nice lad called Ben. It didn't last long, but basically I punched him round the head and he ran off crying holding his hand over his face, screaming "My eye is falling out!".

I loled ;) Funnily enough we weren't bad friends before or after that, although I bullied him a bit because I was a wanker, but then he used to lie about all kinds of things, so in a way he deserved it.

Another time me and a friend who I'd never even crossed words with had a fight for no reason at all. I threw a punch, he spun round and I hit him on the back of the head. My hand felt odd for the rest of the day after that and I couldn't write a thing. Turns out I fractured my bone (in my lil' finger, aww) on his head :(

There was a guy in my class who said you had to pay for air in China or somewhere. Everyone laughed and my mates spurred me on, then we had a fight. What pissed me off is that he scratched the crap out of me, the pussy. We got sent to the headmasters office and the headmaster took his side, even though my face was red and scratched and bits of my skin were lodged under his nails! Bastard...


That's about it. I had a few other fights, jumped on the largest guy in the year, got thrown at a damned spikey wall in primary school by my best mate, got flung across concrete by the same guy (what a friend..!) and accidentally cracked a guy's tooth... Man I was a little bastard now that I think about it.
(Catfish Ma, why can't I draw? "Because you have fins dear", Mon 13 Mar 2006, 11:39, Reply)

The most unlikely items make great weapons...
At school I realised early on that actually learning stuff was the route to getting out of the craphole town I lived in, this didn't sit well with the usual twats who wanted to piss away the school years picking on me and others before signing on for unemployment benefit for the next 10 years.

Most of the asbo bound kids walked from the school to the train station a mile away and would cause mayhem on their route down the main road, this is where I learnt having a bike would get me away from the "danger zone" quickly enough to avoid grief.

Until one day a stocky plonker who enjoyed causing me pain decided he didn't want me escaping so quick so let down my bike tyres. Cue end of the day and I realise I have to push my bike home but stocky twat is waiting at school gates with a menacing look. So I take a run at it and find myself running down the main road pushing my bike with bully chasing behind me hell bent on bloodying my nose...

This is where I have one of those flash bulb idea moments. I'm smaller and lighter than him and aided by a bike with good brakes plus he's right behind me running full pelt... So I hit the bike brakes and stop near on the spot digging heels in to bring myself to full halt, this has the added benefit of raising the rear bike wheel into the air like a reverse wheelie! Big thug looks astonished and is unable to stop himself from running full pelt into the back of my bike clobbering his nuts on the rear wheel and doubling over to hit his face on the back of the seat which leaves him lying on the ground clutching his groin and sobbing as his mouth bleeds all over the pavement :-)

So I stand calmly over him and simply say "don't bother me again" and walk away happy. Many people circled to see big thug cry which made me all the happier. He still caused me grief from time to time but as soon as it looked like I might lash out he'd back down and leave me be for a week. Last time I saw him he was attempting GCSE resits at local college in his early twenties.

Length/Girth due to central heating, generally looks much smaller!
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 11:37, Reply)

I remember my 'biggest' fight was against someone who is now a professional footballer (try to guess who). We were on an orienteering field trip and this fight started over the usual petty things like they do at school. So we started going at it and it turned out he was obviously a lot better at fighting than me and he started punching me repeatedly in the face. I can take quite a bit of punishment, but after quite a few blows I was still standing but could see lots and lots of stars. Sensing I was going to lose this, I quickly threw one of my wellington clad feet into his nuts and all fighting instantly ceased and we got onto the coach to go back to school.

He later confined in meet that I cut one of his nuts that day
( Mr Gimpson Wolfguts, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 11:07, Reply)

I don't fight much
Because I don't like to. Seems to come with the territory of being a well-raised big bastard. I have had a few brief fights, though:

In grammar, a wiry wee fucker headbutted me in the changing rooms after PE. I remember just looking down at him, then shoving him away - apparently I launched him across the room and straight into the wall.

Another very brief fight I got into was a case of mistaken identity. Some cunt moved the chair of another guy just as he sat down, so he fell over [wacky hijinxs, I tell you]. He got back up and thought I'd done it, and snapped and laid into me. He was like a fucking berserker, I barely managed to hold him off while telling him it wasn't me, and we were broken up by a teacher and got a stern talking-to. He apologised profusely immediately afterward and we were on good terms for the rest of our tenure.

The cunt who did pull the chair out was still a cunt, though. I never actually got into a fight with him, but after some nonstop taunting one day I chased him all around the gravel pitch bellowing and threatening him. I didn't have a mission of catching him [fat lol] but the look of terror on his face at the initial charge was hilarious, and the rest of the year seemed to think so too.

And finally, I got a fair beating in primary school. We were grappling, and he headbutted me a couple of times and kicked me square in the bollocks. I had a lump like a golfball, and my jewels were like coconuts for a day, but dammit if I didn't get to gob right in his mouth before I went over.

Rumours of my length have been greatly exaggerated.
(dregan, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 11:01, Reply)

That'll teach you...
This was not me, but my brother, who at the age of 15 was an unstable, cider drinking, skunk smoking, hoodie wearing yob. You know, your typical teenager.

He battered some rugby player two years his senior because of some fuss over my brothers current girlfriend, and fairly inevitably parents were called in to discuss the matter.

My mother, middle class hippy that she is (bear in mind this is Totnes, the world capital of middle class hippies), was terribly upset about all of this, but still couldn't bring herself to be confrontational about it.

Anyway, my mother apologises, my brother refuses to communicate with whole words. The father however, is quite happy to bollock his son (who has just been beaten up by someone two years his junior), for "being stupid enough to mess around with another man's woman", and tell him he only got what he deserved...
(faragher dub, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 10:49, Reply)

Well, actually...
We don't have fights at my school because we are Well Brought Up Young Ladies(TM).

The teachers have fights instead. Rar, the rivalry in the Art faculty... well, let me tell you about a certain Ms W.

This woman was actually clinically insane, but they didn't want to fire her because it might look Prejudiced (oh noes), so they just put her on a years suspension. Somehow she got it into her head that when she came back she was going to be Head of Art. In fact, Ms S was made head of art. You can see where this is heading, right?

So the announcement is made. Zoya (who I heard this from) was visiting Ms S's class to talk about missed homework or something, when Ms W walkes in...

Ms W: YOU FUCKING BITCH!
Class: ._.
Ms S: Um... *discretely points at ickle year eights*
Ms W: [Lengthy rant about how Ms S tricked her out of the head of Art position, has been conspiring against her for five years and arranged to take the position from her just cos she hates her]
Class: O_O *edges back in seats*
Zoya: *still at the front* *cowers*
Ms S: *frantically trying to placate crazylady* Oh, no, I'm sure it's just because I have... management skills, you're the more artistic one, you have a... creative spirit!
Ms W: Don't you patronise me! I'll teach you to steal peoples jobs! *grabs short Ms S by the shoulders and pushes her into the art storage room and locks the door* Who's so great NOW, huh?
Class: |O_O|
Ms W: And you can STAY THERE! In fact I'm going to throw away the keys! *stalks towards the window*
Class: *terrified* {someone should stop her?} {are YOU volunteering?}
Ms W: Oh, fuck it. *Throws keys at wall and storms out*
Class: *Sits in stunned silence for about thirty seconds*
Ms S: *in muffled tones from behind the store-room door* Um, girls? ...could you please let me out?

Ms S is let out and tries to tell the class that Ms W has issues at home, it's alright and they don't have to tell anyone. Meanwhile Ms W is pacing outside the class room screaming at the top of her voice and breaking things. Ripping artwork off the walls and stuff and destroying HSC artworks

And do you know what she actually got fired for? The HSC artwork thing. Not for locking somebody in a CLOSET, oh no, (well maybe partly for that) for destroying the artwork, which apparantly she had done before. Although admittedly it being about a month before the due date would NOT be pleasant for the students it belonged to.

There are Other tales about this teacher, but they don't involve fighting, so it would be a bit of a stretch...
(Lieutenant Colonel Oblivious brought to you by intravenous sugar, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 10:30, Reply)

I hit a girl
Arriving at secondary school my number one priority was to leave my primary school being-bullied days behind. What this meant was that anyone who tried it got hit as hard as I could hit them, on the basis that first impressions count. Tough Julie decided to empty out my pencil case on the table in front of the whole class. I lamped Julie right in the kisser. Me and Julie were friends from that moment on. Go on lads, give'em a slap, they love it :)
(bloodyHassocks, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 10:00, Reply)

Well...That Settled That Then
Back in my younger days at Middle School everything was peachy and rosy, Yoyos and Cards were the fashion and school was about fun not learning. There was a another school located not too far away (A field away if you will) this school contained Chav-type kids with Asbo's or serious mental instablity. Anyway sometimes these kids would break out of there prison type hold and sneak across to try cause some kind of mayhem. One day the chav/asbo types got together to do a WWII style attack at Lunch sneaking across the field and jumping over the bush with there weapons (i.e Mud and Grass) unfortuntly they had been spotted and the entire school was waiting on the other side of the bush for them...armed with weapons of more substances..well anything we could lay our hands on stones, chairs, bins (in sure one guy threw remains of a bike). You can guess the rest but they never came back again and they never tried to escape again. I like to think that i helped by throwing that bin at the large fat kid that sweated alot and could only grunt....it helped him become a better person.

I'll go hide now
(Chopsy Am Always looking For Another Job, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 9:43, Reply)

I used to be a school dinner lady
and broke up many fights, mostly half-arsed brawls between the little kids.

Now and then there'd be a real bully, though, who'd pick on other kids the minute the staff's backs were turned and terrorise them.

One skinny little git, Darren, all of 7, used to brazenly kick other kids and it was hard to stop him as he would strike randomly.

All the kids were nervous of him and I reckon he was still there only because of his 'behavioural difficulties' which made it hard to exclude him. Up to me, I'd have kicked his sorry ass all the way home.

One time, Darren had some kind of shoe problem and was given pathetic flip-flops to wear. I watched him go up to a tall stocky black girl, of the same age. He was about to mount his usual lightning kick attack when he remembered what he had on his feet.

So he shoved her instead. As she weighed half as much as him again, it had no effect, and she reflexively pushed him back. He went sprawling, and came running to me in a state of shock and awe.

'You shouldn't kick, Darren!' I said, trying hard not to laugh, and watched for the next 20 minutes or so as he got pushed over left, right and centre.

After that day, the little bastard cut out the kicking and tried being friendly instead.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 8:24, Reply)

A person can only take so much
Throughout my seventh grade year, I was harassed by several schoolmates in the typical, jock/nerd predatory fashion. After putting up with their shit for most of the school year, they decided it would be funny to accuse me of having an incestuious relationship with my mother, during group presentations in front of the whole class, who, incuding the teacher, just thought it was fucking hysterical. After class, when everyone was leaving to go home, one of the more daring members of the little clique came up to me and said something along the lines of "You deserved it!" This little phrase became the straw that broke the camel's back. I grabbed him by the throat and slammed his head into the brick wall of the hallway. Grabbing his hair, I bent him over an kneed him in the face. While he was stunned, I pushed him on the ground and started jumping on his chest. A teacher came up and tore me off of him, who was now bawling. I looked up at the horrrifed members of his group, who took off running, not wanting to end up like their friend. In the end, I just got a saturday detention, as did he for getting the shit kicked out of him. I never had any more problems with harrasement ever again.
(Nickface, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 7:06, Reply)

Fire extinguisher + small room = revenge
Many years ago I was a student at a Catholic boys school, renowned worldwide for Mass Testosterone Buildup and Random Acts of Violence.
Art class was in progress, when Steven, a twat of the highest order, thought it would be a good idea to stab me in the arm with an indian ink pen. I still have the involuntary tattoo.

Several minutes later, twat of the highest order entered the art supplies room, possibly to refresh his ink weapon.

Locking the door from the outside was easy. Discovering a small hole in the wall took but a few seconds. Grabbing the fire extinguisher off the wall and filling the aforementioned small room with noxious, choking gas (and listening to the resulting screaming coughing fit) was priceless.

Steven 0, Mingus 1.
(charles mingus, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 6:39, Reply)

Quiet insane girl
Only fight I have ever been in in highschool consited of me putting down my book kicking a guy in the head, him falling down and lying still for a while and me retering to my book. I fight dirty ;)
(rattus, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 5:16, Reply)

i was a fuckwit
during the years before i discovered pot and had way too much testosterone coarsing through my veins i was picking on some dude whilst waiting for the teacher to turn up for our english lesson. see, i was smacking him around the head with a rolled up piece of paper that i was going to use for my art assignment that was due the next day. a blank piece of paper. he then grabbed it, as anyone would, which caused it to get crumpled. which pissed me off, i mean what right has he got to screw up my soon to be master piece? so punched him in the mouth. the cunt.
(kalimah, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 1:17, Reply)

Yo-yos
High school first year, during the Yoyo revival of the 1990's, me and a chav acquaintance get into an argument about who could beat up who. Stupid 13 year olds arguing, so I didnt really expect it to break into fisticuffs, so wasnt prepared when the sneaky git twatted me in the face.

Unfortunately for him, I still had my yoyo in my hand, and used it as a makeshift weapon to beat him round the head with for 5 minutes, until I was dragged off by a science teacher.

Happy days.
(himseelf, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 0:23, Reply)

My best mate
My best mate had a birthday sleepover in about year 9, he invited the smelly retard from across the road (who shit himself). It was only us three. We proceeded to play a game called Snake Fuck, where you put your sleeping bag on over your head and proceeded to just try and beat the shit out of anyone by use of sound. Cue me and my mate peeking and doing a double body slam (sandwiching) on the smelly retard....he shit himself, and went home.

We watched gemlins2.
(doris_day, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 0:14, Reply)