The most painful thing that ever happened to me
I'd just finished eating a fish supper with my ladyfriend whilst sitting on my bed, and bloated from all the food, we were settling down for a night of back2back Nip/Tuck episodes and perhaps some naughtiness later on once the food had gone down. Before this could get underway however, I decided it would be prudent to clear away all of the dishes etc. Save having to do it in the morning.

She had other ideas however. Turns out she wasn't as full as I was, and before I had time to react, my throbbing member was deep inside or her mouth, the same mouth which just five minutes previously had been masticating a piece of battered cod.

Turns out the salt from the accompanying chips was still in her mouth too though. The stinging sensation I felt at the top of my helmet was like nothing I've felt before or since. Sheer, raw, uncompromising pain. So great in fact was the agony, that it caused me to jerk backwards and fall arse-end first off the side of the bed... straight on top of the bottle of Heinz ketchup that we'd been using to garnish our feast of fish and chips not ten minutes prior.

Explaining that one at A&E was a bit tricky, especially when they found an unmistakable latex sheeth over the top of the bottle, which I can only presume my girlfriend had put there due to having misplaced the original lid and not wanting the contents to go off. Bless her.

Not sure they believed me in the end.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 7 Aug 2009, 12:39, 6 replies)

Big Jessie.
Salt doesn't hurt bell ends much at all. Even less so when it's diluted inside someone's mouth.
( 100% Cock Raw like carrots., Fri 7 Aug 2009, 12:45, closed)

never happened!

(likeajackhammer, Fri 7 Aug 2009, 12:46, closed)

that's right
it NEVER happened .____.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 7 Aug 2009, 13:06, closed)

hahshahahahaha
tee hee
( rofl harris, Fri 7 Aug 2009, 13:32, closed)

Yeah, I believe you.

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Fri 7 Aug 2009, 23:04, closed)

Stings a bit
Salt's actually a good cure for herpes *apparently*
(Lo Pan is in big trouble, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 12:37, closed)