ON a traffic sign in London
Standard distance marker with "Golders Green 5"

Someone had scrawled underneath "to you my boy, 4"
(Waynster James Joyce is fucking my sister!, Thu 3 May 2007, 18:26, Reply)

In a lift at my local hospital
Maximum capacity 28 persons (or one fat cunt).

The last bit's added.
( Brandy_Bumwinkle, Thu 3 May 2007, 18:26, Reply)

Rubber
On A Durex machine in a pub.

My Dad says these don't work.
(hudster, Thu 3 May 2007, 18:25, Reply)

Ungodly grammar
Driving out of Nottingham one day, I noticed a clever bit of anti-Christian graffiti on a huge sign outside the weirdo Church off Gregory Boulevard (if you're local, you'll know which one I mean). "God Is Dead. Good." Who'd have thought that that two carefully placed full stops would result in such a clever twist? That'll teach 'em for preying on impressionable youngsters who may have been seduced by their poor use of grammar and trendy vocabulary!
(madamebonsoir, Thu 3 May 2007, 18:24, Reply)

\m/

(Waynster James Joyce is fucking my sister!, Thu 3 May 2007, 18:24, Reply)

I live in such a nice town
The graffiti daubed in (I hope) mud on the wall of the public loos read:

"Laura smells of of sh*t"

Yes, with the asterisk. I mean, you wouldn't want to offend anyone, would you?
( reallywittyname veraciously conspues lexiphanicism on, Thu 3 May 2007, 18:23, Reply)

How's my Driving?
sign on the back of a transit van underneath which someone had written in what looked liked permanant marker 'Wank.'
(GreasyChipButty, Thu 3 May 2007, 18:23, Reply)

A Fave From My Home Town...
Written a while back along with a few other iffy slogans credited to a local scratter by the name of Ziko was this little snippet of insanity...

"Ziko has big teeth".

I never did find out if he had a massive set of nashers, sadly.

Oh and a road name sign in nearby Bridgwater was always being altered from "Longstone Avenue" to "Bongstoned Avenue". Twas on the 'charming' Sydenham estate, like Moss Side only with Somerset accents.
(elfinpunk Touching Cloth Since, Thu 3 May 2007, 18:19, Reply)

in Darlington
there is a public Girls School called 'Polem Hall'

all through my teenage years, it was repeatedly changed (then repainted..) to 'Pokem all'
(Mildred is a slimy, double-crossing, no-good swindler, Thu 3 May 2007, 18:19, Reply)

on a wall, somewhere
"Fuck You"

and then, just underneath it:

"YES. YOU."
(Mildred is a slimy, double-crossing, no-good swindler, Thu 3 May 2007, 18:17, Reply)

childish but good
There's a public footpath near my office with a sign that someone has altered to read "Pubic fartpath"

Incredibly childish but never fails to make me smile. Been like that for years.
(Dread Pirate Roberts, Thu 3 May 2007, 18:17, Reply)

You Look French
Was one insult written on a traffic bollard (of all places) on the way to my old school.
But my favourite is written on the wall of the underground carpark of the Asda in the town I grew up in. I went to meet my mum for lunch once and she was laughing so hard she was crying. I asked what was wrong so she took me to the carpark that she had walked through to meet me, and there in 5 foot high green letters it said...

"Piss Pants Dan. (It's just not his fault)".

Genius.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 3 May 2007, 18:16, Reply)

I'm sure MC Hammer would never have done it...
..but in a subway in Hemel Hempstead, on my way to work each day I would note the graffiti which read:

"I got rapped here".

..which never failed to amuse me, mostly because I couldn't imagine who'd want to commemorate where they were presumably 'raped', or how they could spell it wrong.

Not condoning rape, just vandalism.
(mcnelson, Thu 3 May 2007, 18:13, Reply)

Only in West London
Turnham Green, for those who don't know it, is one of the poshest, leafiest, whitest bits of London. And written on the wall of men's toilet of The Tabard, Turnham Green's poshest, whitest pub, in beautiful curlicued handwriting, was a little poem...

As I was walking through Turnham Green,
A book face down it chanced I seen,
Eric Hobsbawm's 'The Age of Capital' was the Edition
I left it in the same Position

Makes a change from 'Fuck Chelsea' which is what's written on most of the loos in the area.
(Tarabas, Thu 3 May 2007, 18:10, Reply)

Topical
In Sudbury town centre, someone has written 'VOTE HERE' on a wall directly above a bin. With an arrow for the easily confused.
A hell of a lot easier to find than the official polling station, and about as effective.
Also quite clever for someone from Suffolk...

Woo, 1st post
(physioboy Good with my hands..., Thu 3 May 2007, 18:08, Reply)

On a railway bridge in East London
To advertise here call 0800 B A N K S Y
( Andy_R At the third stroke, the time will be precisely, Thu 3 May 2007, 18:06, Reply)

Street signs!
Recontextualising such a common fixture as a street sign has a huge effect. It is simultaneously inconspicuous and memorable.



I wish I could take credit for this one, but the best I did was stick a red reflector sticker on a deer crossing deer's nose.
(Random Ferret, Thu 3 May 2007, 18:05, Reply)

o rly?
Saw this on a pillar in swanage

(biggiantmat, Thu 3 May 2007, 18:04, Reply)

Some whippersnapper
in my local vicinity keeps stenciling the infamas bottleguy and goatse images on walls/fences/electrical boxes etc.

And once i saw some young children looking closely at it trying to work out what it was.
For their sake i hope they never did.
( Fitznicely into a thimble, Thu 3 May 2007, 18:03, Reply)

So many...
I've always liked the type where one person writes something, and someone has been so bothered by it that they've felt the need to write a reply underneath.

In the mens toilets in the Cro Bar:

"DJ Eazy pisses on any metal band"
"Why not just use a toilet like anyone else?"

and from the excellent Pictures Of Walls website:

"T-BONE is da illest"
"I'm sorry to hear that. I hope he gets better"

(see www.picturesofwalls.com for more fine examples of the art...)
(Frank., Thu 3 May 2007, 18:02, Reply)

Factual graffiti...
A few years ago I used to regularly go and see one of my mates play in a band at the Old Vic in Derby. On one such occasion, after soundchecking we were messing around, when we stumbled across the most breathtakingly, thought-provoking piece of graffiti either of us had ever seen. "Most vikings are gay" it boldly declared. We both pondered for while, as to how this conclusion was reached. Was it just a sweeping generalisation? Did the author carry out a detailed survey of viking sexual orientation, or was this something more meaningful? I'd like to think that this was a genuine conclusion to a proper viking-based sociological experiment - but it was Derby. Aswers on a postcard please....
(madamebonsoir, Thu 3 May 2007, 18:02, Reply)

The classic written in dust on a white van motif:
"Caution! Sudden tea breaks"
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 3 May 2007, 18:01, Reply)

Most amusing ones I've seen escape me,
but for the minute:

"I wish I had a tag" seen by a large bit of alright graffiti and clearly done with the same hand.

"Free airbag test" written in small writing on a Clio's bumper.


Hasn't this topic been done before bytheway?
(Vega31, Thu 3 May 2007, 18:00, Reply)

Bus Stop
"This bus stop is out of order"

Not sure why but it really amused me...just how exactly can a bus-stop be out of order!?
(Chav In A Box? Was busy stealing your Vauxhall Nova on, Thu 3 May 2007, 17:59, Reply)

On A Condom Machine.
Insert baby for refund.

LOLz.
(I R Tomsk pyromaniacs will only inflame the situation, Thu 3 May 2007, 17:59, Reply)

In
the middle of Goldsworth Park in Woking stands a rather large electrical substation. Cruedly spraypainted on the side, it reads: "Goose my boy!". Don't know why, just makes me chuckle.
(Mr_SD, Thu 3 May 2007, 17:58, Reply)

The vilest I ever saw
was at Chorlton Street bus station in Manchester, on the back of one of the cubicle doors:
" Phone 0161 XXX XXXX if you like to shit on fat blokes"
Still makes me shudder...
( uncle bastard is twanging a dan moi, Thu 3 May 2007, 17:56, Reply)

another one in the stall:
"Beware of Homosexual Rapist Limbo Dancers"
(Lil' Alan, Thu 3 May 2007, 17:55, Reply)

Finsbury Park graffitti
On the side of the Rainbow Theatre, now sadly occupied by some evangelical church, some one had written
"Ken Dodd's Dad's dogs dead"

I think i got the apostrophes right
(tonyhrx, Thu 3 May 2007, 17:54, Reply)

As b3ta.com/questions/graffiti/post77945/

But we personalised it and wrote it on his boot while it was open so he didn't see it until he shut it.

Also "Performance Astra" all along the driver's side
( thistle, Thu 3 May 2007, 17:53, Reply)