Somebody in the office offered me a vegan cupcake yesterday.
"What makes it a vegan cupcake?" I asked.
"Well, it's made with hazelnut milk and there are no eggs in it". She explained. "Also, the glaze hasn't quite set how I expected, so it's a bit sticky".

Despite having no interest in eating this animal product-free piece of crap, my innate sense of politeness took over and I accepted a cake.

It was brown and it was too sticky. I almost held my breath as I took my first bite, expecting the inevitable wholemealy taste of brown flour and grain, like when someone tries to make a bacon and fried egg sandwich with brown bread or eating a dry Ryvita.

I was already planning my anti-vegan rant: "We have evolved as omnivores that require animal fats and meat protein to produce energy", "Our stomachs have adapted to handle cow's milk perfectly well, actually" and "Vegan's are always ill - at least they look it".

But it tasted nice.
( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 9 May 2014, 9:57, 12 replies)

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 9 May 2014, 10:39, closed)

Otters ripping their chests open?

( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 9 May 2014, 10:43, closed)

Sexy as fuck.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 9 May 2014, 11:47, closed)

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 9 May 2014, 11:50, closed)

hahahah

( ferret -> twitter.com/syfyautocorrect <-, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:06, closed)

Office lol

( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:19, closed)

I don't understand this but I like it

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:34, closed)

You're thinking of gluten free.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 9 May 2014, 10:53, closed)

You can't have met many people who eat vegan diets if you think we look ill
I've been baking vegan cakes for years and they're always popular. Unfortunately a small number of people do cling on to old misconceptions.

I'd never use brown flour though, that would be weird...
(IHateSprouts is baking a huge pie shaped like an enormous pie, Fri 9 May 2014, 15:23, closed)

How
on Earth do you milk a hazelnut?
(Iris_Wildthyme is three sheets to the wind, Sat 10 May 2014, 15:56, closed)

Take it out for dinner first?

( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Sat 10 May 2014, 16:43, closed)

With A bucket
a 3 legged stool and warm your hands first
(Sir Tainley Barking Ezekiel 23:20, Wed 14 May 2014, 23:06, closed)