Oh man, the first time I ever work up at 6 in months and months, and its on a day off.
I had some crazy dream that I was only a few mm high, that I got shrunk so I could go up a little girl with down syndrom's nose, but then I slipped and fail down the asphigous. Suddenly I was me and I had just swallowed someone who had been shrunk, and it was a friend, and I was trying to force myself to be sick so they don't get killed by the stomach acid.

I then woke up feeling really nauchous and ran to the bathroom to throw up.

Mornin !
( Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 8:03, Reply)

: (

( b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 10:05, Reply)

I had a weird freaky dream this morning
that I had to give my friend an insulin shot, only he didn't know how to do it as it was his first one and I was being told how to do it by a mad old woman (like a crazy hag or something) who kept getting sidetracked and wouldn't explain well while I got more and more upset. Eventually I snatched it off her and just did it, all the while with some stoned guy trying to blow smoke rings around the (oversized) needle.

Woke up shaking a bit, not sure why it was so upsetting.
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 10:19, Reply)

There's a long and detailed Freudian explanation.
But the short version is that you are a lesbian, sorry.
( Comradely&Quixotic still hating Thatcher,, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 10:26, Reply)

damnit
I look terrible in dungarees
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 10:27, Reply)

But you suit a pipe.

( Comradely&Quixotic still hating Thatcher,, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 10:32, Reply)

i reckon

( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 10:44, Reply)

At least you're normal...

( SteveFrench What's it all aboot eh?, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 10:37, Reply)

'you're'

( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 10:44, Reply)

Cheers love, early doors innit.

( SteveFrench What's it all aboot eh?, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 10:47, Reply)

i slept well for the first time in a week last night
but now I can't wake up.

how's good friday going, bob?
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 10:50, Reply)

Recently I've been sleeping in lots which is unlike me.
Pottering around now then going to head to Bristol later to See geek mates. What are you doing cap'n?
( SteveFrench What's it all aboot eh?, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 10:55, Reply)

today
I have planned nothing. Tomorrow I see Jim JOnes Revue and feed a cat.
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 10:57, Reply)

I want a new cat

( SteveFrench What's it all aboot eh?, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 11:07, Reply)

what's wrong with the old cat?

( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 11:11, Reply)

DED
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 14:27, Reply)

AWW

( The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 14:40, Reply)

4EVA IN MY GARDEN

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 14:58, Reply)

Got a busy weekend ahead Bob?

( JeffTheDogFucker, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 15:02, Reply)

chilled one with mates tonight in bris. Parents for Easter then back to Wales for more gym/work/gym/work/gym/work etc.You?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 15:07, Reply)

parking lots? Vacant lots?

( The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 13:44, Reply)

all of the above

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 15:09, Reply)

Just to let you all know
That I've just woken up from a sleep that started over 12 hours ago.
( JeffTheDogFucker, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 13:22, Reply)

I didn't get to bed until about 3
And then couldn't sleep past 9. Reckon I'll crash early tonight.

Gog.com are giving away the original Fallout and I stayed up late playing it.
( The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 13:46, Reply)

Alright mate
Did you get a flat sorted?
( JeffTheDogFucker, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 13:54, Reply)

Possibly
Made an offer, filled out an application and references and stuff. But now the Easter weekend so I may not hear until after.
( The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 14:39, Reply)

I sware my facial hair has grown in the last 15 minutes, suddenly my mustash hair goes into my mouth.

( Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 13:22, Reply)

or your feltrum shrank

( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 16:36, Reply)

I dare you not to like this track. I love it.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwXUto1dU_o
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 15:09, Reply)

i
Keep having dreams that I cut my hair
( K Swizz all my bells are ringing, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 15:21, Reply)

Still not awake
went to see a film, not been for ages. The smell of popcorn and plastic cheese dripped with nostalgia. Saw some explosions and Gods fighting, came home. It was OK.
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 16:36, Reply)

Well I've been this afternoon for a nice walk.
And I've decided to stay in this evening. Is there anything on the telly that I should consider watching?
( JeffTheDogFucker, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 17:42, Reply)

the big penguin
if you don't watch him he'll steal your chips
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 17:50, Reply)

I'm not familiar with him.

( JeffTheDogFucker, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 17:54, Reply)

BURMA!
www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=1k1ccguXiws#t=136s
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:13, Reply)

Why d'you say burma?
I panicked!

Evening you.
( b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:18, Reply)

evening

( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:18, Reply)

You can watch the football with me.
It's fucking laughable. If you can't get above Barnsley in the table, you want fucking shooting.

Well, you know, not you personally.

in other news, two weeks tomorrow!
( b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:11, Reply)

City are going down.
I'm flicking between the West Ham and the Newcastle game on Sky.

Two weeks tomorrow?
( JeffTheDogFucker, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:13, Reply)

Jeffstock, baby!

( b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:17, Reply)

woop woop!

( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:18, Reply)

I think cavy's alarm has just gone off.#

( b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:22, Reply)

Of course.
I thought today was Saturday.

I'd imagine it'll rain though.
( JeffTheDogFucker, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:20, Reply)

I've been thinking it was Saturday all day.
Long weekends are weird.
( b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:21, Reply)

Not as weird as your face.

( JeffTheDogFucker, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:22, Reply)

Oh, that's harsh.
HARSH, jeff!
( b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:24, Reply)

Not as harsh as your face.

( JeffTheDogFucker, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:26, Reply)

You so want me

( b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:31, Reply)

I want you to get a job.

( JeffTheDogFucker, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:33, Reply)

Well, that makes two of us.
I'm now down to 'assistant manager at Farmfoods' and 'part time admin assistant at Brean leisure Park'.
( b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:37, Reply)

I hope you get the job at Brean.
You can then post a nice long meesage on here explaining to Dozer and Battered why they might not want to go to visit.

If they aren't tall enough to use anything but the tea-cup ride, it might not be worth the entrance fee.
( JeffTheDogFucker, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:45, Reply)

oh, eeyore!

( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:21, Reply)

Got your pirate outfit sorted for the occasion?

( JeffTheDogFucker, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:23, Reply)

sorted?
this makes it sounds like I'd have to plan a pirate outfit. I can see my tricorn from here
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:28, Reply)

Just to make it clear.
It isn't a fancy dress occasion.
( JeffTheDogFucker, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:28, Reply)

i may just wear a hat, then

( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:29, Reply)

I'd wear some other clothes as well
just to be on the safe side.
( b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:32, Reply)

really?
I thought it would be warmer in England?
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:33, Reply)

Just drink Old Bristolian all night and you'll be warm enough.

( JeffTheDogFucker, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:34, Reply)

Old Bristolian = Tony Benn?

( b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:40, Reply)

Morph.

( JeffTheDogFucker, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:43, Reply)

Morph's dead.
Chas set the place on fire as in insurance job.

Mr Bennett now lives in Antigua.
( b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:44, Reply)

No.
I can't believe Chas torced the pencil box.
( JeffTheDogFucker, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:45, Reply)

That scrubbing brush is dead too.

( b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:47, Reply)

Good.
I never liked it.
( JeffTheDogFucker, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:48, Reply)

Went up like kindling.
But it's alright. Tony Hart used it as charcoal to draw a police sketch of Chas.
( b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:52, Reply)

Spoilsport

( The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:34, Reply)

If you want to see boobies that much
I believe there might be some pictures of them on the internet.
( b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:39, Reply)

I have also heard such rumours
Extremely difficult to track down, though.
( The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:39, Reply)

BOOOBIES!
4.bp.blogspot.com/_X8HP0Z0XyrQ/S6ccIDx-LBI/AAAAAAAAAUI/aIOVfqxc8Ag/s400/blue_footed_boobies-dance-thumb.jpg
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:41, Reply)

I wonder if the cider boat will stock this for the weekend?
www.gwyntcidershop.com/product/dog_dancer/
( JeffTheDogFucker, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:40, Reply)

did you make that?

( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:41, Reply)

Clearly not.

( JeffTheDogFucker, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:43, Reply)

If they do,
we shall rename it Dog Fucker in your honour.
( b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:41, Reply)

I can't imagine they will have it on.
They said to me that the 21st was their St George celebration, and Dog Dancer is a Welsh brew.
( JeffTheDogFucker, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:43, Reply)

Alright Jeff? Didn't know there was a bit of convo going on.
I made a big batch of my garlic/butter/blue-cheese/sea-salt/oil. For some reason, it's runny this time, so I'm going to see what happens when I put it on popcorn while watching a film later. My new thing this week is that bake at home bread, it's pretty good stuff.

Got a "I DONT KNOW IF ITS A DATE" date tomo, going to see the hunger games and go TGI Fridays.
( Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 19:09, Reply)

I don't like TGIs
I've only been there once years ago and out 'waiter' insisted on pulling up a chair and chatting whilst we were eating.

I had to tell him to leave me alone. He didn't get a tip.
( JeffTheDogFucker, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 19:17, Reply)

Yeah', they got that over familiar mate thing, if he sat down though while I was eating, I would hold a fork up to my mouth, then put it down, and ask him if there is anything you can help him with.
I got a good name for these people though, "Meiters" (prounced maters).

They do a fucking mean bit of deep fried stuff though.
( Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 19:32, Reply)

I forgot to bid on a jacket I've been after for about a year.
It went for SIXTEEN FUCKING QUID. Someone hold me, somebody please hold me.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:55, Reply)

*holds Barry*
It's a bugger, isn't it? You don't want to bid too soon or the price goes up stupidly high, so you put it on your watch list and then forget all about it.
I feel your pain, brother.
( b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:56, Reply)

I never bid with more than twenty seconds left.
For some reason I thought there was days left, it finished yesterday. I've offered the seller £50 to sell it to me instead. I'll go up to £80.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:58, Reply)

That's very bad form.
Play the white man, barry.
( b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:59, Reply)

I play to win.
I'd never do it if I sold something, but you never know this person might.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 19:03, Reply)

If someone asked me, I'd kick myself for turning down more money
but I'd have to say no. A deal's a deal, and eBay sales are legally binding contracts.
( b3th None of the mod power, all the calories, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 19:05, Reply)

eBay are arseholes there's nothing they can do.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 19:05, Reply)

The arsehole said no.
Hope he dies.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 19:33, Reply)

perhaps you could hug your other jackets
surely you must have jackets you've never even worn if you have so many?
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 18:59, Reply)

also *there there*
*awkwardly pats on shoulder*
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 19:00, Reply)

I have some that have probably been worn less than three times in about three years.
I should get rid of them really.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 19:04, Reply)

you could sell them so you could buy more jackets

( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 19:05, Reply)

That's how it goes down normally.
But I've narrowed down how many I have and can't bring myself to sell the ones I have left cos I like them all too much. Regardless of how little action they see.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 19:06, Reply)

So what does the jacket look like that you've no won?

( JeffTheDogFucker, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 19:18, Reply)

It was by Cos and it was a leather bomber. The finest leather bomber your eyes could ever wish to see.
To make up for it I've just bought a Nom De Guerre overshirt.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 19:26, Reply)

Give julian clary his log in back

( SteveFrench What's it all aboot eh?, Fri 6 Apr 2012, 19:28, Reply)