Off Topic
Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
Yeah morning.
Today is the second day of my being shortstaffed, one more day to go.
Selfish cunts with their 'illness' and 'holidays'. I just hope that 'they' bring in that legislation soon where you can fire cunts with ease. Right? Couple of undeserved sackings and none of them would dare have a day off again.
Yeah.
Alt: I had chilli squid for dinner last night and it was fucking ace. Do you like chilli squid? If not, you must be some kind of GAY. Are you? Are you some kind of gaylord?
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:31, 202 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Today is the second day of my being shortstaffed, one more day to go.
Selfish cunts with their 'illness' and 'holidays'. I just hope that 'they' bring in that legislation soon where you can fire cunts with ease. Right? Couple of undeserved sackings and none of them would dare have a day off again.
Yeah.
Alt: I had chilli squid for dinner last night and it was fucking ace. Do you like chilli squid? If not, you must be some kind of GAY. Are you? Are you some kind of gaylord?
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:31, 202 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
We're short staffed at the minute, but that's mostly down to people leaving, and not having been replaced yet
We've lost 4 staff over the last two months, but only hired one. Add to that one member of staff is off on what could be long term leave, and it's starting to get a little strained.
Also, bacon is the breakfast of the gods.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:35, Reply)
We've lost 4 staff over the last two months, but only hired one. Add to that one member of staff is off on what could be long term leave, and it's starting to get a little strained.
Also, bacon is the breakfast of the gods.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:35, Reply)
I might have a peanut butter sandwich in a minute.
This 'power-walk' shit I've been doing lately sho' nuff makes a niggah HONGREH of a morning.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:37, Reply)
This 'power-walk' shit I've been doing lately sho' nuff makes a niggah HONGREH of a morning.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:37, Reply)
"Ah sho am hungreh"
Why not have some ribs instead?
Also, peanut butter? I'm ashamed of you Monty, that stuff is vile.
I'm yet to try chilli squid, although I do have a rather nice recipe for it.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:38, Reply)
Why not have some ribs instead?
Also, peanut butter? I'm ashamed of you Monty, that stuff is vile.
I'm yet to try chilli squid, although I do have a rather nice recipe for it.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:38, Reply)
It's a recipe I can't see being anything but nice
Make spicy stew, take off heat, add squid, serve immediately.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:42, Reply)
Make spicy stew, take off heat, add squid, serve immediately.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:42, Reply)
'Gimme a rib'
Chris Rock's finest hour right there. I really fucking love that film, but then I am a huge blacksploitation films fan, and collected their soundtracks for a bit. 'Shaft in Africa' is one of the best - despite the film itself being fucking awful.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:44, Reply)
Chris Rock's finest hour right there. I really fucking love that film, but then I am a huge blacksploitation films fan, and collected their soundtracks for a bit. 'Shaft in Africa' is one of the best - despite the film itself being fucking awful.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:44, Reply)
I tried watching it a while back, but it was a bit too bizarre at the time
Shall give it a try again sometime soon
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:46, Reply)
Shall give it a try again sometime soon
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:46, Reply)
If you don't know the original films which are being parodied you might struggle.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:51, Reply)
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:51, Reply)
I'm not a gaylord, I just don't like seafood.
I'm always a bit scared that I'm going to lose my job waitressing. Not that I'd be unhappy about not having to waitress anymore, it's just I need the job to support myself and jobs are a bit thin on the ground here.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:40, Reply)
I'm always a bit scared that I'm going to lose my job waitressing. Not that I'd be unhappy about not having to waitress anymore, it's just I need the job to support myself and jobs are a bit thin on the ground here.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:40, Reply)
I was called into a meeting yesterday where they asked me 'Why do you think you're here?'
I was a bit panicked, as I've been keeping my nose clean recently, but it turns out they were just winding me up, and they needed to ask me about another member of staff's jobs.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:43, Reply)
I was a bit panicked, as I've been keeping my nose clean recently, but it turns out they were just winding me up, and they needed to ask me about another member of staff's jobs.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:43, Reply)
I didn't know Battered worked for you?
Alt: Chilli, yes. Squid, no. Gaylord? I don't think diet can contribute to this either way.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:40, Reply)
Alt: Chilli, yes. Squid, no. Gaylord? I don't think diet can contribute to this either way.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:40, Reply)
I'll bow down to your superior knowledge in this field,
but I'm sure that comes more under the heading "lifestyle" than "diet"
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:45, Reply)
but I'm sure that comes more under the heading "lifestyle" than "diet"
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:45, Reply)
Yeah well right now I'm eating Shreddies, no cocks anywhere near my mouth!
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:45, Reply)
Never had chilli squid but I like chilli and squid so sure,what the hell.
Off to my exam shortly. Can't really be arsed as it's such a nice day already.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:42, Reply)
Off to my exam shortly. Can't really be arsed as it's such a nice day already.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:42, Reply)
English and Maths, got 100% for English on both practice papers. I know how it works.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:48, Reply)
Ha, fuck off, right I need to go now so try and be nice to the other children today Monty ok.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:51, Reply)
this is a great idea!
the first person they should sack is the moaning cunt who whines and bleats about people being off on the pat.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:47, Reply)
the first person they should sack is the moaning cunt who whines and bleats about people being off on the pat.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:47, Reply)
Rod Stewart'szzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I'm not a real cockney, unfortunately. Despite being a 'face' in my 'manor'.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:52, Reply)
I'm not a real cockney, unfortunately. Despite being a 'face' in my 'manor'.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Oh shit.
The sole of my right sneaker has just almost totally come off.
Fucking German shit cunt bollocks.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:57, Reply)
The sole of my right sneaker has just almost totally come off.
Fucking German shit cunt bollocks.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 8:57, Reply)
It's a biscuit.
They were made by the women in australia during the first and second world wars when food rations were in place. It's like a oat, flour and golden syrup mixture that gets baked. Really tasty.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:20, Reply)
They were made by the women in australia during the first and second world wars when food rations were in place. It's like a oat, flour and golden syrup mixture that gets baked. Really tasty.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:20, Reply)
looked it up myself
Austalian and New Zealand Armed Corps apparently
prics
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:41, Reply)
Austalian and New Zealand Armed Corps apparently
prics
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:41, Reply)
Tie your laces around it.
I had a flatmate who did that as he couldn't bear to part with his baseball boots even though the soles were hanging off. It looked well cool.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:08, Reply)
I had a flatmate who did that as he couldn't bear to part with his baseball boots even though the soles were hanging off. It looked well cool.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:08, Reply)
He did actually manage to pull a rather hot girl.
They spent the next 6 months rutting as though the survival of humanity depended on it. I know this because his room was above the lounge.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:26, Reply)
They spent the next 6 months rutting as though the survival of humanity depended on it. I know this because his room was above the lounge.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:26, Reply)
OMG! I had chilli squid for dinner too last night.
What are the chances, eh?
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:06, Reply)
What are the chances, eh?
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:06, Reply)
Morning Monts
I don't "do" ill. I've only had about 8 days off in 20 years, and 5 of those were enforced due to swine flu restrictions at work.
Alt:
Chilli squid is the fucking tits! NOM NOM NOM
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:14, Reply)
I don't "do" ill. I've only had about 8 days off in 20 years, and 5 of those were enforced due to swine flu restrictions at work.
Alt:
Chilli squid is the fucking tits! NOM NOM NOM
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:14, Reply)
Chilli squid ftw!
Speaking of gaylords - anyone see the Gok cooks chinese programme last night? Food looked excellent!
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:15, Reply)
Speaking of gaylords - anyone see the Gok cooks chinese programme last night? Food looked excellent!
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:15, Reply)
Seafood is rank apart from fish fingers and taramasalata
I'd fire any that says "No to cuts", then I'd cut them with a spoon
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:20, Reply)
I'd fire any that says "No to cuts", then I'd cut them with a spoon
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:20, Reply)
mussels are the worst, they look like alien cunts and taste like the hull of a trawler
actually I like prawns, lobster meh and scallops meh
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:24, Reply)
actually I like prawns, lobster meh and scallops meh
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:24, Reply)
Scallops seared in butter with pancetta is one of the nicest things I've ever eaten
I'm longing for mussels cooked in beer, tomato, chilli and coriander now
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:26, Reply)
I'm longing for mussels cooked in beer, tomato, chilli and coriander now
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:26, Reply)
I've never had it, but probably; I like seafood
to be honest, if we weren't already short staffed at work and I wasn't burdened with morals, on a day like today I'd seriously consider ringing in sick myself and going and reading a book in a field with cider and ice cream and not enough clothes.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:32, Reply)
to be honest, if we weren't already short staffed at work and I wasn't burdened with morals, on a day like today I'd seriously consider ringing in sick myself and going and reading a book in a field with cider and ice cream and not enough clothes.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:32, Reply)
Me too
but sadly I'm at my desk at work doing tedious data entry again instead of outside getting sun-giddy.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:02, Reply)
but sadly I'm at my desk at work doing tedious data entry again instead of outside getting sun-giddy.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:02, Reply)
I'm inside with all the windows closed and the curtains drawn
LIKE A BOSS
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:07, Reply)
LIKE A BOSS
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:07, Reply)
You mean the way I buy expensive sunglasses and then hide from the sun?
Nah, I'm *quirky*
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:17, Reply)
Nah, I'm *quirky*
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:17, Reply)
We've got three people on maternity leave with a fourth due on the starting blocks pretty soon
As long as the resulting sprogs aren't sporting my patented 'suave monobrow'* when they're paraded around the office I should be in the clear.
*neither patented nor suave.
Alt: I've never had squid. So I'll default to 'some kind of gaylord' for now. Sound like something I'd like. Er, chilli squid I mean, not being a gaylord.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:32, Reply)
As long as the resulting sprogs aren't sporting my patented 'suave monobrow'* when they're paraded around the office I should be in the clear.
*neither patented nor suave.
Alt: I've never had squid. So I'll default to 'some kind of gaylord' for now. Sound like something I'd like. Er, chilli squid I mean, not being a gaylord.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:32, Reply)
here i am trying to educate you all, make this a better place
and nobody ever bloody listens
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:46, Reply)
and nobody ever bloody listens
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:46, Reply)
thanks sporto, you're the best
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1621775
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:58, Reply)
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1621775
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:58, Reply)
I fucking live chili squid, I do naughty things with a bit of calamari.
The trick to remember with squid is that you _could_ eat it roar, so just dust in flower and get a smoking hot pan, the moment that crust is formed, you're done.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:57, Reply)
The trick to remember with squid is that you _could_ eat it roar, so just dust in flower and get a smoking hot pan, the moment that crust is formed, you're done.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 9:57, Reply)
i saw a video of some japanese thing where they were eating octopus legs
but the legs were still alive and crawling out of the bowl
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:00, Reply)
but the legs were still alive and crawling out of the bowl
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:00, Reply)
apparently octopus legs don't need a brain to know they need to move around and find food
imagine that, intelligent legs
you could send them down the shops for your lambrini
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:02, Reply)
imagine that, intelligent legs
you could send them down the shops for your lambrini
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:02, Reply)
my legs do very well at getting champagne bought for me in bars, thank you very much
now THAT'S intelligent.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:10, Reply)
now THAT'S intelligent.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:10, Reply)
as i'm never ever sick, and insist on coming to work even when i am
i agree with monty. nuke the hypochondriacs and give me their salaries.
urrrgh, no. squid is fucking rank.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:02, Reply)
i agree with monty. nuke the hypochondriacs and give me their salaries.
urrrgh, no. squid is fucking rank.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:02, Reply)
Most of them work for the public sector 12 days V 10 in the private sector
although 10 is fucking high as well
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:05, Reply)
although 10 is fucking high as well
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:05, Reply)
10 days a year off sick?
are you fucking kidding me? I don't think I've had that cumulatively in ten years!
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:07, Reply)
are you fucking kidding me? I don't think I've had that cumulatively in ten years!
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:07, Reply)
same here, me and you are the only reliabel workers in broken britten
i had 2 days off last week, probably the first time i've been ill in 15 years
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:08, Reply)
i had 2 days off last week, probably the first time i've been ill in 15 years
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:08, Reply)
imagine eating live octopus legs, NA
imagine them all trying to escape your plate as you stuff them down your throat
apparently some people have died from the tentacle suckers sticking in their throat as they desperately try to cling to life
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:07, Reply)
imagine them all trying to escape your plate as you stuff them down your throat
apparently some people have died from the tentacle suckers sticking in their throat as they desperately try to cling to life
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:07, Reply)
I heard this true story yeah, about this woman who put a lobste tail first in her twaqt
then held a lighter under it to makle it squerm but it had little lice in it and they crawled out and lived in her fanny
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:11, Reply)
then held a lighter under it to makle it squerm but it had little lice in it and they crawled out and lived in her fanny
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:11, Reply)
in much the same way as detached octopus tentacles don't know they're dead
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:11, Reply)
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:11, Reply)
there probably is a similarity
flailing rather uselessly around complaining a lot about cushy conditions....
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:14, Reply)
flailing rather uselessly around complaining a lot about cushy conditions....
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:14, Reply)
i was thinking more of CQ
is he still around anyway? not seen him in a while.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:23, Reply)
is he still around anyway? not seen him in a while.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:23, Reply)
if i had a boyfriend it might zing
as it is, i'll just add it to the pile and bring it out next time i have a use for it?
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:22, Reply)
as it is, i'll just add it to the pile and bring it out next time i have a use for it?
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:22, Reply)
i don't know what you're geting at
are you saying you use gay men for sex?
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:23, Reply)
are you saying you use gay men for sex?
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:23, Reply)
no
i am saying i will reserve your zing and i will bring it out and burn myself with it when i start dating the next victim.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:28, Reply)
i am saying i will reserve your zing and i will bring it out and burn myself with it when i start dating the next victim.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:28, Reply)
so that we can mock you for dating another gay man?
why not jsut date a straight man so you don't get mocked?
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:29, Reply)
why not jsut date a straight man so you don't get mocked?
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:29, Reply)
I've been off for 3 days this year already, but that was unavoidable, and I used holidays for that
On average, I think I've only had 1 or two days off per year I've been here.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:13, Reply)
On average, I think I've only had 1 or two days off per year I've been here.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:13, Reply)
You try having a camera flashed on you from right up close in your face, see how you look.
Also, that was last year.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:17, Reply)
Also, that was last year.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:17, Reply)
It must have lost something between me throwing it in the bin and you picking it up to eat.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:24, Reply)
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:24, Reply)
they do throw those frisbees pretty fast
oh god i hope he hasn't been hurt
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:24, Reply)
oh god i hope he hasn't been hurt
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:24, Reply)
^ THIS kind of post is precisely why they wouldn't even take you off my hands for nothing.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:39, Reply)
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:39, Reply)
Don't worry everyone. I found some old-skool Pumas in my filing cabinet!
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:28, Reply)
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:28, Reply)
You wanna employ a octopus for that
their legs can get on with the work while they make tea
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:42, Reply)
their legs can get on with the work while they make tea
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:42, Reply)
Yes please
Strong, as little milk as humanly possible, no, even less than that, in what world is that strong? Ah FFS, just give me the fucking thing.
Useless bastard.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:39, Reply)
Strong, as little milk as humanly possible, no, even less than that, in what world is that strong? Ah FFS, just give me the fucking thing.
Useless bastard.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:39, Reply)
as black as the cupboard where they kept me for years and fed me pins, pins, PINS
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:45, Reply)
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:45, Reply)
This is the correct way to take your tea
But I'm afraid you're too late for this round.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:53, Reply)
But I'm afraid you're too late for this round.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 10:53, Reply)
have you seen that youtube video
"baby scared by his own fart"
is v funny.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 11:02, Reply)
"baby scared by his own fart"
is v funny.
( , Tue 22 May 2012, 11:02, Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »