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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Home Sweet Home

I'm not sure if anyone's around, so I thought I'd set up a new home.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 15:38, Reply)
And now
I'm going to send myself a reply so I don't feel lonely.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 15:38, Reply)
Hey clendrix!
*half hearted flex*

Party was ace! House didn't get trashed, drank loads and woke up ont he couch cos my brother shagged a lass I used to be fuck buddies with. All good!
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 15:40, Reply)
Hi BK!
*gives a gentle hug*
*administers asprin*

Glad you survived your soiree. Is it OK that your brother did that? And what time did things finish?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 15:43, Reply)
Hello darling C
I'm here. I was going to have a nap but as a spider just ran over me, I'm going to stay awake and on guard.

How was shopping?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 15:47, Reply)
I have no idea
I do vaguely recall being last man standing.
Folk left between 1 and 3. I managed to get through 2 bottles of wine and half a bottle of vodka. Been texting people to get their impressions of the evening.
Just needed to clear the empties and mop the kitchen cos made sure I only invited relatively sensible people.

I don't mind my bro doing that, he gets action once in a blue moon. Nice looking, really sweet guy, not a nasty bone in his body, but he's so shy around women.

Good morrow dear ancrenne. How is yourself?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 15:47, Reply)
You're very lovely! I'm glad the evening was a success.

ancrenne! Spiders? Eek!
Shopping was great but I am now the owner of a CrackBerry. Oh dear. And how grown-up am I - I didn't go for the pink one!
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 15:54, Reply)
Alighty BK
I'm fine thanks, struggling with the idea that I need to get up in twenty minutes to get to my massage appointment.I know it will be lovely, but I'm soooo comfortable where I am...

Glad to hear your partay was a success too.

EDIT - Clendrix - well done on the gadgety accumulation :) Re spiders, I called the cat to help, but by the time he arrived the spider had gone into hiding. I think my ex counsellor is owed more of a debt of gratitude than I realised as I did NOT scream, leaping six feet out of the bed, but just went, 'oh, a spider'...
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 15:55, Reply)
I do try to be lovely, but sometimes it hard. I was naughty last night,indulging in a few illicit substances I haven't went near in many years but I figured everything in moderation!


It was great thanks!
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 16:00, Reply)
Illicit substances?


So, when is 'Bash at BK's House' going on the calendar?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 16:05, Reply)
would be entirely welcome!

It would very much be a case of sleeping where you fall though.
Bashwise, are you around for the 23rd August as am definitely planning on making it down for that.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 16:12, Reply)
Yay BK!
That would be great!

We're going to need a whole pub the way this bash is growing..
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 16:13, Reply)
No I'm not
*huge sulk*

I'll be in Washington DC, having a stateside mini-bash with The Resident Loon though, so that's cheered me up.

I have, however, signed up for the York Bash in January. Does that one sound do-able for you?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 16:15, Reply)
I've got spears!
Long story, but some person who died had a bunch of spears and things, and now they're mine!
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 16:19, Reply)
@ clendrix
York is easy!

It's on the train line I take to work as I work in Harrogate. I can walk 5 minutes and take the York train so I shall definitely be at that one.


Do you really need any more sharp, pointy things?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 16:21, Reply)
Oh dear...I was rather hoping it was Britney, but it seems that instead an increased potential for maimery is at your fingertips.

BK - brilliant! Yay!
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 16:24, Reply)
right people
I'm off to get oiled up and rubbed all over up by my lovely friend.

Back in a bit

EDIT - alrighty K :)
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 16:27, Reply)
They're amazing!

One like that.

I'll have to take a picture, but there's also a giant cleaver, an axe, a giant axe, two leaf spears, a machete and a saw!
The Pointy Fairy has been in the night!
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 16:28, Reply)
Afternoon all
Your man didn't do too well in the GP, clendrix. He spun off 5 times.

However, his countryman Barrichello finished 3rd.

@Kaol - what are you going to do with spears? I'm worried!
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 16:28, Reply)
Er... K2k6
I dunno...
Clean them, for a start.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 16:29, Reply)
The world just got that little bit more dangerous.

Did you enjoy the bash on Friday?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 16:30, Reply)
I did enjoy it, yeah!
Was nice to be sober for this one, and chat to people.
Lovely people!
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 16:31, Reply)
I suppose
if you're going to kill people with spears, it's nice if they're clean.

"All the better to penetrate your flesh, my dear".
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 16:33, Reply)
Kill people?
I'm even more ready for the Zombies now.

I'm not a violent person, I promise!
Anyone who has met me at the bashes will attest to that.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 16:34, Reply)
Afternoon all
I've been very carefully reading the manual of my phone and it seems I can in fact adjust the volume of calls now as I had the shuttle jog thing on the side set up wrong. That coupled with the fact that the twats at BT didn't send me the start up disc for it so I don't have a lot of programmes that should be on there. Will call them tomorrow and ask how to do internet calls and are they free as I have no idea now.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 16:38, Reply)
You have a reputation to maintain now sir,
I shall be attempting to shake your hand from a distance at the August bash!
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 16:38, Reply)
Yes, he didn't do particularly well, did he?

Oh well, off we march to Germany.

(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 16:40, Reply)
Can't you download the software from BT? That's usually the way the world works these days.

@clendrix - Massa was awful today. Couldn't keep it on the track at all.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 16:43, Reply)
What can I say? Too much pocket-rumaging, probably.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 16:45, Reply)
If he spent less time in your pocket and more in his car, he might do better!

I'm off now. Busy tonight, so I'll see you all tomorrow for the usual merriment.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 16:55, Reply)
Byeee K2k6
People are in my B3ta home!


*hurriedly bakes cakes*
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 16:57, Reply)
I suppose so
but I need to call them tomorrow anyway to find out about a second battery they included in the box that I've just found that is too big, but would probably give my phone more life than the 6 hours with no calls, no touching or anything than it gets now.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 17:02, Reply)
I successfully purchased Crack today - it's charging up and I'm looking at it with a mixture of longing and dread.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 17:23, Reply)
*looks for pipe*
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 17:25, Reply)
Oooh yay for you Clendrix
I can do the internet on mine, but cant figure out if it's worth setting up outlook express as I don't use it on here as I have gmail instead. Would be one button to press instead of scrolling through a menu...
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 17:37, Reply)
yes, also trying to decide whether to set up Outlook and have my work e-mail pop up on it, or just access as-and-when. I've said no for now. I need to figure out how to do the simple stuff first, or I'll be in a right two-and-eight.
Fun though!
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 17:42, Reply)
Hello my lovely peoplefolk
How are we?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 17:48, Reply)
Re gadgets 'n that.
Most of my stuff is several years old, but I get by. On the plus side, my phone's battery lasts for ages.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 17:57, Reply)
Just stopped by
to say hello. However, I need to get my arse into the kitchen and help with the dinner, so I'll bid you all farewell and (probably) good night.

Hope everyone had a top weekend. We went to an engagement do on Saturday and as a result of an over-estimated buffet now have what seems like a whole pig (in slices) in our fridge... Pork sandwich anyone?

*Offers pork slices*
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 17:59, Reply)
Hello DG
* Accepts pork *

Just more cycling from me this weekend.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 18:02, Reply)

If you have a pig, I have a gigantic butchers cleaver...
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 18:10, Reply)

Hello Spak! (And hello and bye DG).

How are the potential interviews coming along?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 18:13, Reply)
Hello C
I got an e-mail on Friday saying that one company was intereted in my CV but hadn't decided on a date for an interview. I hope I hear something soon so I can put up a new London bash on the calendar.

@DG Re Pork: How did you end up with a sliced pig in your fridge?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 18:24, Reply)
Sounds promising!
Let's hope it can all be co-ordinated neatly.

An excess of sliced items brings to mind Kaol and his love of carving. And now spearing.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 18:34, Reply)
I've got three spears!
I need to polish them up.
Turns out they're about 60 years old.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 18:36, Reply)
Hello people
I'm back. Had a lovely cycle through the rain on the way back from my massage, so I'm oily, smelling delicious and the rain just slid off me. Hooray!
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 18:38, Reply)
they might have some monetary value (though I'm sure you already couldn't bear to part with them).

Welcome back, A! Glad it was lovely.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 18:38, Reply)
I reckon
That one of them is worth a few hundred pounds.
Pretty rare item.

Hello A!
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 18:44, Reply)
Yay for bike rides in the rain
after massagey goodness :)

I'm transferring music onto my MP3 player as I didn't realise I had so little on there until I checked it at work and found I'd been listening to the same 20 albums for about 3 months.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 18:46, Reply)
Welcome back A
Also went cycling but it didn't rain. Pity you can't send smells through teh intertubes.

@Kaol: You must be honoured to have had the spears passed down to you.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 18:54, Reply)
Hey becks
Yep, that bike ride was fantastic, many puddles to splash through. I might join you in getting some new tunes onto my phone too. I've loads of new stuff.

Alright K?
How will you ever thank the Pointy Fairy? Have you got to leave a small knife or a severed hand under a pillow or something?

EDIT - Spakka - if you know what neroli smells like, that's what I smell like. It's yummy.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 18:54, Reply)
I really am pleased with them!
They're not from a relative, but from a friend of a family friend.
I'm glad they didn't get thrown away, would have been a real shame :(

I dunno how to thank the Pointy Fairy.
I might have to swallow a handful of drawing pins.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 18:57, Reply)
can we see some pictures of said spears?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 19:17, Reply)
I'll sort it later.
I'm writing an application at the moment, but I need to upload some work photos later, so while I've got my camera out I'll grab a picture.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 19:18, Reply)
I'm looking for advice
I need to eat. I want to drink.

Do I eat first (sensible) or drink first (get pissed cheaper)

And will it make any difference if my dinner consists of peanut butter and chocolate spread on toast, or salted tomato sandwiches?

Or should I just pour the gin down my throat, then the tonic, and eat a lime?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 19:26, Reply)
Mix the gin with tomato, peanut butter and chocolate - then you have a cocktail which is both food and a drink.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 19:27, Reply)
That all depends...
What kind of gin is it?
If it's nice gin, then make a proper, nice G&T, drink one while making dinner, then have dinner and a make another one.
And another.

Mr. Z, that's horrible!
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 19:28, Reply)
I'd go for
the peanut butter option as it would line your stomach better than foul tomatoes. But not to the extent that you take ages to get drunk.

*Is having jacket potatoes with philadelphia AND proper cheese soon*

Oi Kaol, get your arse off b3ta and write your application
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 19:29, Reply)
I said this already today, but you proves me right.. you are one sick puppy.

Kaol.. It's Bombay Sapphire. I didn't drink it all yet.

Becks - I have potatoes! I went grocery shopping while still pissed/hungover on my way home yesterday morning and completely forgot I now have actual food!

I'm going to investigate the gin situation, and see what I bought in my messy state yesterday morning.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 19:32, Reply)
Now I have a reputation as a sick puppy... meh.

Is it a sick fluffeh puppy?

Having a go at writing pron that is more in keeping with Becky's Pron Guidelines... its hard. I keep on wanted to introduce a troop of performing midgets, or a Mexican Donkey Show....
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 19:37, Reply)
You've made that bottle last for over a week?
I'm impressed!
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 19:43, Reply)
Troop of performing midgets?

Surely there's something in the guidelines to allow this...
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 19:48, Reply)
Where are the Becky guidelines?
Do they have a thread of their own?

Kaol - I have mostly been drinking cider and vodka this week - not together; I have some standards. When I ran out of tonic, the gin stayed in the freezer..
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 19:50, Reply)
^really want a gin & tonic now^
But I have no tonic.

And it's raining too much to walk to the garage.

Damn Sunday, why do you make the shop next door close so early?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 19:51, Reply)
I drink cider and vodka!
Don't put yourself down like that though, I have rather high standards :p
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 19:51, Reply)
Not sure
what the becky guide lines are... but I think I've definately broken the 500 word limit as I'm on 1,042 so far... hmmm.

There may still be time to fit the performing midgets in somewhere...
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 19:57, Reply)
How can everybody be so prolific.
I got that one story out by the sweat of my brow. Each word was wrenched from my body. Yada, yada, yada.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:00, Reply)
If it helps, the story I wrote wasn't easy.
But it was 3 this morning.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:01, Reply)
just have an active imagination.

At the expense of more conventional social skills.

Retreating into the world in my head is so much better than dealing with the people I deal with on daily basis.

Meh. 1179 words... but tis finished. Hmm. I think this might qualify as 'Becky Nice Pron'
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:04, Reply)
I wish I could write more
but I tend to procrastinate too much and it takes forever to get anything done.

Hangovers don't seem to help either. Funny that.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:05, Reply)
As such
there are no current guidelines concerning Pr0n midget troupes, however I'd rather read the mexican donkey one and then rant about animal cruelty at it's a pet topic of mine (pun intended).

Mmmmm...baked potatoes slathered in Olive oil to make them crispy, with philadelphia and tons of grated cheese. *is full now*
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:06, Reply)
I think for the next qotw
We should do a poem. Might be fun.

Edit - I think it's wine o'clock.

Back soon.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:06, Reply)
I can write
or talk, pretty much non stop, about anything. It doesn't mean it's any good Miss Blouse.

Gunter - I'd offer tonic but I'm running out.

In other news, I decided on not really cheese but pretend cheese on toast and burnt the roof of my mouth off. The and sea salt are a painful combination.

EDIT - Kaol..pfft.. you and your standards...
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:07, Reply)
not to worry, but thanks anyway...

Decided to break into a particularly nice single malt instead.

*is grateful he works for an alcohol company*
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:11, Reply)
hmm... midget donkey pron?

Shetland pony pron....

Hmm... you've got me thinking now.

I'm probably not going to sleep too well tonight.

Damn you.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:15, Reply)
@zapiola re active immagination
I'm like that too. I used my immagination to fill in the gaps in my worldview that resulted from not having participated in enough conversations.

One advantage of being shy is that you nurture your individuality and give it a greater chance to blossom.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:18, Reply)
Well you can consider it
pay back for telling me about sharks that walk on land then :)
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:21, Reply)

You hide it well.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:21, Reply)
that was a posited next stage of evolution...

Making me think about Shetland Pony schlong is a different matter...

I won't be able to eat sausages for weeks.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:24, Reply)
Mr. Z
Just chew before you swallow.
You'll be fine :p
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:26, Reply)
lack of chewing... that would explain the chafing...
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:26, Reply)
It's a mantra to live by.
Chew first, then swallow.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:27, Reply)
but you could just smash to pulp, and then swallow.

It'd save on dentistry too.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:29, Reply)
Knife and fork?
Fuck that!
Mallet and pliers FTW!
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:30, Reply)
an industrial drop hammer would be more effective? It'd certainly open up hard boiled eggs easily.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:33, Reply)
@BGB's last comment
True! You don't seem so shy, Spakka!
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:34, Reply)
But you'd not be able to take it on a picnic with you.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:34, Reply)
Having just had a phone call
I come back to find 'chew first then swallow' and 'smash to pulp, and then swallow' being advocated.

I presume this doesn't apply to everything?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:35, Reply)
But if you're opening
a computer case for the first time and it's not budging, screwdriver and pliers FTW :) My IBM was never quite the same after that afternoon.

Has anyone else tried Starburst twisted yet? I just went out and got a pack and they're quite interesting. I thought they were the ones with a gooey centre, but they're two flavours together.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:36, Reply)
Perhaps it should!

Becky, I just saw an advert for those! Now I want some.

*salesman's dream*
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:36, Reply)
As with all my advice, it applies to food, not sex.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:37, Reply)
true... but you could pre-smash all the stuff... store it... and then swallow it on a picnic.

@ancrenne... I'm sure some things are meant to be unsmashed before being swallowed. I'm just not sure what.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:37, Reply)
I'm 43 Becky.
New sweets don't hold the excitement they once had many years ago.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:38, Reply)
I'm 31
And got ludicrously excited about a packet of fizzy strawberry laces last weekend...
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:40, Reply)
That's only
Because I got them for you :p
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:41, Reply)
@BGB & clendrix
It's true. In real life, I'm still a bit shy, but nowhere as near as shy as I was when I was a teenager (in fact, if this QOTW is chosen, I've got a good story to tell).

Here on b3ta, everyone's open-ness and love of a broad-range of topics encourages me to be more open and expose my naughty side. In other words, b3ta makes me feel myself. I'm still not sure what I'll be like at my first bash but I'm certain I'll enjoy it.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:43, Reply)
You know your old when...
You start to only like mints.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:43, Reply)
I know what you mean. I'm always feeling myself when I'm on B3ta. ; )
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:44, Reply)
in that case I've always been old... Mints have pretty much been the only sweet I've liked since I was 7 or 8. I even used to pour my mums peppermint food flavouring on a handkerchief and sniff it when I was in school.

I just love mint.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:45, Reply)
Miss Blouse
Pfffffffffttttttt :)

Kaol... Maybe ;) Maybe they were just exciting in themselves.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:46, Reply)
Mints are fantastic!
It's not just old people who like them.
EDIT: Maybe indeed, ancrenne :p
EDIT 2: 100! Take that, fuckers!
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:47, Reply)
I'm 34 and still enjoy them - especially those sugar-coated orange and red ones (can't remember anything about them as I've not had them for a while).

@BGB: I find Wednesday afternoons are the best time for that.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:49, Reply)
I know it's not just old people who like them.
But they're usually the only thing old people do like.

I could eat spearmint chews till I'm sick.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:49, Reply)
Just Wednesday afternoons?

Re sweets, now I know where to get friendly strawberry laces, I plan to stock up. I also found a great supply of little lollies for when I gave up smoking... They have silly paper sticks though so the last thing you taste is soggy paper not lovely lolly :(
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:53, Reply)
Not just Wednesdays
but then, we all know what we're doing.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:02, Reply)
Sherbet Lemons
are good... but a bit icky if you eat too many.

Theres a milkshake place down in town that does all sorts of flavours... including cucumer, weetabix and rhurbard and custard. Tis odd.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:05, Reply)
I had brown bread icecream once.
Twas lovely.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:06, Reply)
Is that shakeaway Zap?
I was looking at their website the other day and saw that they do all sorts of stuff for all manner of weird non dairy types like me. Most exciting.

EDIT - BGB - loads of people say that. I've never had it. What's so good about it?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:07, Reply)
Mr Z
You're not in Brighton by any chance are you?
I'm taking ancrenne to the one of those in Brighton on Thursday *grins*

EDIT: Yeah... As she said.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:07, Reply)
There's a shakeaway place here in Southampton
but I don't actually go into Southampton if I can help it.

I has teh fear of shopping centres.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:09, Reply)
Yeah I think
its shakeaway. I avoid town as there are so many tourists but a girl I know wanted to go there the other day.

@Kaol, nope not from brighton... not even sure I've ever been to brighton in fact. I'm originally from oop north (a loooooooong time ago) but am currently based in Oxford.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:10, Reply)
Can't remember ancrenne.
It was a very long time ago but I do remember thinking ew! brown bread icecream. But I gave it a go and I remember loving it.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:12, Reply)
You're going to be dancing on tables at your First Bash, I reckon.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:14, Reply)
Oooohhhh Zap
I was in Oxford a few weeks, er, maybe a few months, ago. Pretty place! I got all excited when I saw the Golden Compass again after that and recognised places.

I also got very very very very drunk there and was rude to posh people on the train on the way home.

EDIT - Clendrix... Have you a shiny clever camera for recording such table dancing?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:14, Reply)
Shakeaway is awesome
As is Brighton.

I had a Walnut Whip and maple syrup milkshake last time I was there!
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:17, Reply)
it is pretty beautiful is Oxford.

And yes, there is a large amount of posh people to be rude to. I have made something of a career out of it actually. Thank god I manage to avoid undergrads and tourists most of the time... aside from my housemates who are ridiculously posh.

They are having a dinner party right now for some of their hunting friends. I went downstairs earlier on to make lentil soup for dinner and they were polishing the special silver cutlery and decanting brandy into a decanter. I can here braying laughter now.

One week left with them... thank god.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:18, Reply)
Table dancing is a skill and not something to be tried willy nilly.
I should know : (
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:18, Reply)
You have to leave them a little parting gift.. We'll help you think of something.

BGB... photos? Details?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:20, Reply)
No photos, just a couple of bruises long gone. It's all a bit hazy to be honest and one of those things I've tried to block out of my memory.

Still, heed my warning. Leave it to the professionals.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:23, Reply)
As it happens, I today ordered myself a lovely new little camera, with a one-button video capture feature.

(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:24, Reply)
Mr. Z
I think you should mix up mackerel pate with epoxy resin, and paste to the undersides of tables, tops of cupboards, and backs of radiators.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:24, Reply)
Just started watching a film called Zombie Strippers........ why do I have the feeling its going to be bad.


@ancrenne... I've already been trying to poison his beans...
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:25, Reply)
That sounds far too much like a euphemism. Though I have no idea what for.

I like the mackerel suggestion. Pint of prawns under a floorboard?

Clendrix - hoofuckinray :)
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:27, Reply)
I did that on Friday but I hypnotised everyone.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:28, Reply)
I could really fuck them both up by implying they've been sleeping together... thus causing them both to be dumped. Its not too far fetched a notion to be honest.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:30, Reply)
That AND the fishy badness.

Go on...

Buy me a train ticket and I'll help?

realises at this point that I actually would. I hate the housemates of a person I've never met to the point that I really would go to a different city to pour rancid fish into their house.I worry myself
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:32, Reply)
I'm touched.

Squid could be a better option. Musty squid charged with squidy goodness. Squid that hasn't been laid for a long time and has spent too long in its room watching the squid version of Eurotrash. Till it honks.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:35, Reply)
I like your style.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:39, Reply)
Re digital cameras:
I was thinking of getting one of these but then I decided to wait until I'm employed again.

Re zap's parting gift:
At the moment, I'm feeling a bit uninspired. All I can say is that 'foxhunting' sounds like 'cocksucking'.

EDIT: @ancrenne: I can see where you're coming from. I might even join you.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:39, Reply)
Oxford house trashing bash?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:42, Reply)
you'll be employed soon, and then you can buy it for yourself as a celebratory treat!
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:43, Reply)
Yay! spakka
I bought one of those recently. It seems like a really good camera. It also has an idiot mode which sold it to me really.

I paid less than that for it though.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:43, Reply)
not so much the house... more housemates... and their possessions... and their hopes, dreams, etc...
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:43, Reply)
Even better
Have you some sort of holding pen and some pointy sticks?

If not, we know a man who has the latter at least...
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:47, Reply)
have a fountain pen, and a bolas.

Hmm... whoever could you be talking about.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:50, Reply)
@ancrenne re house-trashing bash:
I was thinking along those lines too! It's sort of an 'activity bash', and not just a 'stay in the pub' type bash. Pity I can't come. Perhaps someone should put it in the calendar.

Thanks for your encouragement. In fact, I'll replace all my gadgets (including my PC) as a treat if I get the job.

@BGB re cameras with idiot-modes:
Are you sure it wasn't this model instead?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:52, Reply)
Zombie strippers... not necessarily a film you'd watch with yr family... theres something highly disturbing about a woman with half a throat covered in blood and pole dancing...

We could trash his next house. Shes moving to London.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:55, Reply)
Definitely the model A590.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:56, Reply)
That film sounds, in a very wrong sense, very interesting...

Spakka.. Activity bashes sound like fun. I can be very active at drinking cider - I can even use my left hand.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:00, Reply)
one of the Zombie Strippers has just bitten the penis off a customer...

Very very odd. Kinda funny though... its so tongue in cheek is actually pretty funny.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:01, Reply)
If she's just bitten off a penis
Surely that's more than tongue in cheek?

Have you seen BloodRayne? Watched it with a mate when he was off work sick and wanted to watch bad stuff.

It wasn't just bad. It's all sorts of bad.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:06, Reply)
Use both hands. One drink in each.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:07, Reply)
seen bloodrayne... Zombie Strippers caught my eye... possibly because of the Stipper part in the title.

Its odd... actually quite funny though.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:08, Reply)
Unless I get very much into body modifications, I'll still only have one mouth though...
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:09, Reply)
Goodnight everyone.
I need to get my sleep and I'm slightly inebriated.

As I am neither a student or an insomniac, I shall bid you all goodnight.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:20, Reply)
Night BGB
I'm neither nor student nor insomniac, nor yet inebriated enough.

Practice, practice, practice.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:22, Reply)
How are we all?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:24, Reply)

Also, imagine what I was like when I was both a student and an insomniac...
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:25, Reply)
Hello MM!
How lovely to see you.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:25, Reply)
Hellos to all of you
Kaol- it's just a different sort of greeting. Nothing to get teh fear about.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:28, Reply)
I thought I'd missed something.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:28, Reply)
Allo MM
this film is damned weird.

Whose birthday is it?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:30, Reply)
No one. I just thought it would be exciting....
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:35, Reply)
Birthday snogs!



Hello MM!
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:36, Reply)




*is possibly over excited due to strongbow*
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:40, Reply)
Are there candles?
*gets a bit over excited at the prospect of fire*
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:41, Reply)
Goodnight leavers, hello comers
* snogs *

* cakes *

* eats *
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:42, Reply)
Fire and alcohol!


Alcohol and fire!

(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:42, Reply)
*bursts in*
I heard mention of FIRE. And ALCOHOL.
Surely we need a KNIFE to cut the cake...

*grins wildly*
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:43, Reply)
I was quite happy
to just grab handsfull of cake but if you insist Kaol.

No chopping with machetes though. This is good cake.



(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:44, Reply)
I now have a mighty
Urge to eat coffee sponge...
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:46, Reply)





*is possibly a little sick from childlike excitement*
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:47, Reply)
I'm far too excited by fire
It's a lovely, lovely thing.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:53, Reply)
mmmmm, fire....
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:56, Reply)
*pours petrol over b3ta servers*
*grins wickedly*
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 22:59, Reply)
this seems to be a fire based chat at the moment.

Fire is good. Fire is cool.

Fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:00, Reply)
*sparks lighter*
*pours petrol over Mr. Z for good measure*
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:01, Reply)



(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:03, Reply)
*says hello*


*asks how people are*

*appears to be speaking in the third person*

Ooo, fire, don't mind if I do...
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:06, Reply)
Yup fire is the topic.

Apparently I'm being burnt alive.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:10, Reply)
Hello PoD
We're having a fantastic not at all dangerous fiery party.

*watches Zap melting*

The attractions seem to be, in order, fire, alcohol, cake. Bring your own whichever, join the fun!

How's you?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:10, Reply)
I'm not melting!
I'm not the wicked witch of the East!

I'm browning nicely and running shrieking through the streets.

(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:12, Reply)
I'll bring a little of each
I am good. I was at a bbq at lunch time, and kept getting given more and more meat. And then some more meat. And then a bit more for good measure.

And then cheesecake.

And now I'm here.

How are you?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:13, Reply)
I'm wondering
Didn't someone ask the other day what person crackling would taste like?

Zap.. can you break a bit off and let us know? Or would that just be weird?

I'm fine and dandy PoD :) Had a loverly day.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:15, Reply)
*thinks about making joke about eating my hot fat... decides against it*

Hmm... I imagine it would taste like pork. Possibly.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:17, Reply)
I wonder what the ethics of
cannibalism ve vegetarianism/veganism are.

Specially if the person doesn't actually die, but just has a bit chopped off here and there.

How much do you reckon you could harvest from a person before their body gave up?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:21, Reply)
And I bring you...

more fire.

Evenin' POD. Did you find out why you were short of breath the other day?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:23, Reply)
Evenin' le spakk
Nope, can't say I did, but I'm not dead yet.

I did however get out of breath eating my lunch the next day, which was a bit strange. However, I was eating toasties, so just kept going.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:24, Reply)
Quite a lot.
Especially with regards to draining the blood.

I've written a song about it.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:24, Reply)
Re cannibalism ve vegetarianism/veganism:
If the person being eaten consented to it, would the ethics of a vegetarian permit this?

"How much do you reckon you could harvest from a person before their body gave up?"
As much as you want if you don't include the vital organs and stop the bleeding. But if you found artificial replacements for the vital organs, you could eat those as well, and that person will become a cyborg.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:26, Reply)
but would you be prosecuted for self cannibalism?

The other question is if you touched yourself to pictures of yourself as a child would you be a paedophile?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:27, Reply)
So is it theoretically possible for me to have ethical* and non death inducing meat?

This might take some investigation.

If that song has instructions, I'd be interested to read/hear it.

*well, define ethical
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:27, Reply)
I'm not thinking of eating myself. That would be silly.

I was wondering if there might be people out there, like that man in Germany, who want people to eat bits of them. And then I wondered, could you kind of cut bits off but keep them alive, and not particularly injured?

If so, I could eat, with a clear conscience, meat that wanted to be eaten.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:30, Reply)
Mr. Z
I don't think there's such a thing as autopaedophilia.
So no, you'd just be a twisted, strange narcissist.

Ancrenne, if I can get hold of a guitar I'll play it to you at some point.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:31, Reply)
I'm not sure but wouldn't that be classified as assault?

How would a person's diet affect the way they taste?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:32, Reply)
I'd be lying if I said I was disappointed.


(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:41, Reply)
I am now hungry and tired
so if someone would be good enough to give me a slice of their arse, I'll take it and be on my way.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:43, Reply)
Do we have anything stronger than tea?
Things look grim from this angle.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:43, Reply)
It may be assault but that's a point of law not of ethics.

Re diet - I expect they'd need to be relatively lean or you'd just get plates of lard off them. We could do a taste test - try the outdoor reared, organic fed Guardian reader as opposed to a ready mealed, indoor dwelling type.

EDIT - Hello Maladicta, Clendrix. I've got gin to offer but just about out of tonic.

And I need all my arse, sorry. Cycling without it would be tricky.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:43, Reply)
how would a high blood pressure Daily Mail reader taste? Stringy?

Slice of their arse?

(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:45, Reply)
@ ancrenne
Gin is good *swigs*
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:47, Reply)
I think that
You'd be best to stay away from smokers too.
Tainted meat.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:47, Reply)
Daily Wail readers would taste bitter. Very very bitter.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:50, Reply)
Oh, there you are!
I have returned from a wet Hyde Park. Counting Crows were amazing. Donovan Frankenreitter was cool. Bowling for soup were rubbish.

And I played guitar hero ON STAGE. I rock. :)
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:54, Reply)
What song?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:57, Reply)
Evenin' Maladicta
Am catching up on everyone else's stories so I'm only here sporadically.

Re arse: I cycle too so want to keep mine.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:57, Reply)
my gin-swigging, cannibalistic and essentially loveable friends, I'm off to bed, as the pumpkin hour is almost upon us.

I'll see you all tomorrow, raging fires allowing.
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:57, Reply)
Bull On Parade by RATM.
*throws horns*
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:58, Reply)
Night Clendrix
We'll keep the home fires burning and cooking the willing.

Catch you tomorrow :)

EDIT - Devil! Did you get drownded?
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:58, Reply)
Good work
Mr DiT!
(, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:59, Reply)

EDIT - woohooo!
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:00, Reply)
It wasn't too bad, really.

My legs are blue though from the dye in my jeans... I'm so retro.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:00, Reply)
Evening ditty boy could bowling for soup be rubbish when they are made of cool?
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:03, Reply)
If you tell me you
are down with the kids Devilman, I shall go off you a lot.

We QOTWers have our own brand of cool.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:03, Reply)
Hey MM!
It surprised me too. But they were very, very average. Perhaps their sound check was off, but they sounded awful.

EDIT: I am NOT down with the kids. I do NOT have an angular haircut, not do I wear skinny jeans.

I hope that clears everything up. I am NOT cool.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:04, Reply)
Hum, that's a bit disappointing..
And you are so cool. Don't go round trying to pretend cos it won't fool no one.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:06, Reply)
As well as cool, you're also Grove's evil twin.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:07, Reply)
There's cool
And there's us.

We are the coolest. Because we are all special. No-one can touch us for our coolness.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:08, Reply)
You have a point there...
Why am I the evil one though?

It's the Devil thing, isn't it? People are always so quick to judge me!

Right. I'm off to sleep off the weekend! *hugs all around*
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:10, Reply)
I dont feel very cool at the moment... but then I'm in a bad mood because I appear to have lost my ipod. Damn.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:10, Reply)
Night DiT
may you dream of crows and mediocre soup
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:11, Reply)
G'night clendrix & DIT
We think for ourselves. We don't let mass media define 'cool' for us.

EDIT: @Z: We still think you're cool. Hope you find the ipod.
PS: I've only read your 'nice' story so far, but me likes!
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:12, Reply)
Night DiT
Zap - maybe your ipod has run off with chickenlady's?
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:14, Reply)
And they're having sex
In a parked car!
There'll be Nanos everywhere before you know it!
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:16, Reply)
Kaol, I think we need a chat about how technology works.....
And talking of dogging, where is CHCB these days?
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:17, Reply)
When the USB jack is "plugged" into the port, "data" is transfered.

I dunno where she is.
T'is the weekend though.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:19, Reply)
Instead of b3ta dating
we should have dating for b3tans' ipods.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:19, Reply)
said she was flying somewhere soon. Belfast. Not sure when that is though, or if it's happened already. She's normally about during the day.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:19, Reply)
Fair enough
Second generation, looking for a bit of company. I've got four separate buttons and I'm looking for someone who can push them all. Have all my own ports and signal transmitter, but could do with my batteries being recharged
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:23, Reply)
I wish I could click that!
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:24, Reply)
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:31, Reply)
@ MM
1st gen petite model, pure as the driven snow, WLTM retailer for possible upgrade.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:35, Reply)
I'm not down with the kids
Walkman-Dating anyone?
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:35, Reply)
Oooh, Maladicta's ipod...
You sound lovely. I'm a bit battered round the edges, but we could still make sweet music together...

spak@ this was your idea...
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:37, Reply)
My ipod
is so broken, it would have to apply to *speciality dating* only I think.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:38, Reply)
Age should not matter if they're a well matched Walkman and ipod.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:40, Reply)
My iPod...
Larger-sized black model, fond of midnight walks. Into rubber, hardcore and videos. No time-wasters.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:43, Reply)
I fear the interfaces would never be compatible... I mean you're just so.....analogue.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:43, Reply)
Don't underestimate the power of Analogue to Digital converters and vice-versa.

The walkman can show the ipod tricks it didn't think possible, like how to rewind.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:50, Reply)
are you hitting on my hardware?
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:54, Reply)
*goes back to playing with an abacus*
*realises one hard drive does not an understanding of technology make*
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:57, Reply)
Fakkin 'ell you lot
I go away to make a phone call and come back to find you've started fires and are talking about Ipods like they're something special.

*Doles out fire extinguishers and Creative zen's*
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 1:00, Reply)
We're pairing them off. If you have a music playing device looking for love then here's the place to be.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 1:02, Reply)
I'm not pairing off my sexy
creative with an Ipod. That'd just be wrong
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 1:06, Reply)

(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 1:08, Reply)
But your ipod's earphones are so soft to the touch. Let me take my casette out my walkman so I can spin your earphones round in a knot. When they're all tied up, I'll take out the flash memory card and place it in the tape deck.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 1:08, Reply)
Well I'm off to bed anyway
sneers at Ipod lovers and their owners and hugs Creative Zen W (seriously google it, it's beautiful) close to chest.

Night all xx
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 1:11, Reply)
It was pretty...
You showed me it on the train when nobody was looking...

(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 1:12, Reply)
Night Becks
Talk tomorrow lady :)

EDIT - I so don't get gadget envy. I do get gadget confusion though.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 1:12, Reply)
Night beckx
Have fun with Creative Z.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 1:15, Reply)
Night bex
And I'm off too achleee.

spak.. I'll be thinking bout you your rewind function...
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 1:17, Reply)
'night MM
I'm saving the fast-forward for a special occasion.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 1:24, Reply)
Night MM
I keep thinking I ought to go to bed and them remembering I don't as I'm unemployed. Woohoo!
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 1:31, Reply)
I'm too busy reading these stories to go to bed.

(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 1:35, Reply)
Slow reader Spakka?

Read mine yet?
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 1:38, Reply)
Just read it
Very Kaolesque.

Was away most of the weekend so am working through two days worth of stories.

You read mine?
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 1:48, Reply)
I read yours Spakka
Wasn't quite sure what to say about it to be honest... It was a wee bit odd in places!
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 2:09, Reply)
Was the word you were looking for 'cringeworthy'?

I think the odd-ness may have distracted a bit too much from the eroticness.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 2:12, Reply)
Cringeworthy is perhaps a good word
I have to say there was very little erotic there for me as the odd sort of overwhelmed it.

But then I'm not claiming to have the first clue about how to write erotica, and nor do I really want to know. The saucy side of my mind stays well away from public view.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 2:20, Reply)
My saucy side also stays away from public view
but that's coz I'm shy.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 2:28, Reply)
My saucy side...
Yep, have to keep that private too.
Last time that was public...
*points at restraining order*
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 2:31, Reply)
You all are still here?
Mind if I join in?
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 2:33, Reply)
Go ahead
jump right in.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 2:34, Reply)
So we are discussing...
restraining orders and cringe-worthy erotica, then?

And here I thought restraining orders were just a way to show you care.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 2:36, Reply)
Hello FWB
This thread has covered all kinds of things today, notably pork twice, fire a bit, technology, and, as ever, teh sex.

How's your day been? Saucy? Badger filled?
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 2:40, Reply), technology and sex
Always to be found round these parts.

My day has been lovely and quiet for the most part. And I did pet a badger earlier, so that was nice.

How are you this evening?
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 2:43, Reply)
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 2:43, Reply)
Have been cycling and reading the stories here.
And I must say, I'm impressed that so many of us have such wonderful writing talent. I don't have an idea for a story for this week's theme, but I'm tempted to write some non-cringeworthy erotica with last-week's QOTW as the theme.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 2:46, Reply)
You pet a badger?
Like, um, stroked it? Woo! How did you manage that?

I'm fine and dandy thanks, probably going to head off to bed soonish. I've dishes to ignore and mess to leave on the floor before bed, though. It's a tough life :)
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 2:47, Reply)
Shouldn't that have been "256 woo!"?

Nice scissor thing in your story btw. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around attaching someone to a clothesline by their toes though.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 2:47, Reply)
A few people have mentioned that scissor thing

My story was a non erotic one, along the lines of Che's suggestion. I was glad to get it out of my head to be honest, it had been bothering me.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 2:50, Reply)
Ok, so 'pet a cat' would be more accurate.
But it's the thought that counts.

Oh yes, ignoring the dishes is always one of my favorite games. What I wouldn't give for a housekeeper! It's why I had kids in the first place...I was hoping for very short servants.

These stories are very good...I've quite enjoyed them.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 2:51, Reply)
Your story was fantastic, Ancrenne.
It reminded me of a party I went to a little over a year of those "what did I just do?" kinds of things.

Edit: Go for the non-cringeworthy mistaspak. We'd all like to read that.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 2:54, Reply)
*enjoyed* FWB?
Certain sorts of enjoyment are permitted on Wednesdays at 4pm UK time.

If you were to pet stroke my cat, you could almost say you had pet stroked a Badger 'cos that's his name.

EDIT - Thanks FWB! A few people said it was hard to read, and I was aiming for vague allusion rather than anything else. Glad you enjoyed it.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 2:54, Reply)
I've "petted" a Badger!

Your story was indeed good Ms. A.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 2:55, Reply)
"Shouldn't that have been "256 woo!"?"
I use hexadecimal - I'm geeky.

"I'm still trying to wrap my mind around attaching someone to a clothesline by their toes though."
It's so I don't have to hold their legs up when blow-drying them.

That was a dark story you wrote. Creative writing is a form of therapy.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 2:59, Reply)
4pm UK time is 10am for me
I'm always in my office at that time, which is very bad for wanking wednesdays.

And I didn't mean that kind of petting......but I have been known to do something along those lines.

Yes, the vague stories are great. They leave a lot to the imagination. As I read your story, I could easily visualize the room and the circumstances. Very well done.

@ Spakka: I'm not quite geeky enough...I don't even know what hexidecimal is.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 3:00, Reply)
4pm UK time is 5pm for me
When I visit England for the bash and any possible interviews, I can celebrate 4pm at 4pm for the first time ever.

Re hexadecimal: I'm starting to get tired so my inner-geek is switching off.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 3:08, Reply)
Aw, thanks everyone!
That's more of a success than I'd thought then.

Spakka, I don't need any more therapy though, and it wasn't a cathartic piece. I've had plenty and it worked. Sometimes creative writing is just creative writing.

FWB - 10 am wanking Wednesdays? There's a way to get a working day off to a good start!

And Kaol, yes, yes you have :) And a Mushroom.

EDIT - So Spakka, it's 4.10 am for you? I was just about to suggest you;d be challenging Kaol for his insomniac crown but then realised I'm not exactly asleep either...
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 3:09, Reply)
I'm cheating coz I don't have anything to get up for tomorrow. But even so, I'm managing to keep almost regular hours. Maybe Kaol's insomnia is rubbing off on me.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 3:15, Reply)
See, I've gotta be up in
Four hours for my first day at my new job.
But I'm not tired yet.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 3:16, Reply)
Oooo Spakka...getting to celebrate 4pm properly. Woo for you!
All of you insomniacs are making me sleepy!
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 3:23, Reply)
That's a bit unfortunate. Nice cup of cocoa?

I'm yawning now so will be heading off anytime soon. I've work to do from home in the morning tomorrow, so might be here for a bit, but really really have to do work.

Nice to meet you FWB - talk again another day.

Kaol, Spakka - night :)
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 3:26, Reply)
Celebrating 4pm properly
I suspect I may be on a train somewhere in the West of England then.

Edit: night ancrenne
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 3:27, Reply)
'Night Ms. A
Nice to meet you too. I'll have to start jumpping into these threads more often during the day.

But Spakka, can't you pop off into the loo for a quiet celebration?
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 3:30, Reply)
If you keep jumping in, you'll never leave.
If I do it in the train loo, would that make me join the two-foot high club?
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 3:32, Reply)
Not ever leaving is the scary part
But I already spend half of my work day either on QOTW or gaz as it is. Surprisingly though, my productivity has actually increased!

Yes, I think that would be a part of the two-foot high club.....and a very exclusive club it is.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 3:35, Reply)
3:38 am beta-server-time is 4:38 am for me
and the sky is starting to get light, so I'm going to bed now.

(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 3:38, Reply)
G'night all
Looks like I won again :p
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 3:38, Reply)
Yes, Kaol, you win for that side of the pond.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 3:41, Reply)
I win for both sides.
I hope.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 3:43, Reply)
It's only 9:45 here.
But I don't know how much longer I'm going to stick around. I'm trying to change the file format of a couple pics and not having much luck as I don't have the appropriate software for dealing with pics apparently.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 3:46, Reply)
Oh right...
Maybe you should give up and call it a night?
*raises eyebrow*
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 3:50, Reply)
Tell me how to fix these images so they will upload and I'll quit
I've changed the file format from .tiff to .jpg but still, b3tards won't recognize them!

And WTF is .tiff anyway?
I think the problem is that I cropped them in an old picture viewer program and that has screwed up the file format.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 3:52, Reply)
Is like a super-jpeg.
Is the file size small enough for b3tards?
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 3:54, Reply)
It should be small enough
How do you find out how big the file is?

Edit: one is 154.1 KB and the other is 259.6 KB

I'm still not very good at this computery stuff.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 3:55, Reply)
They're not too big.
How did you change the file-type?
I'm assuming you didn't just change the extention (eg, delete .tiff and write .jpeg in it's place)?
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 3:59, Reply)
On Macs you can do that and usually it works.
It didn't work for me this time, which is the first time it hasn't worked. I think I'm going to have to find a nice program to download to convert these in. Though, I could stand to have that kind of software to create and edit images in anyway.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 4:04, Reply)
.tiffs can be a bit funny, that's likely why.

Anyway, you've beaten me, I've gotta be up in three hours for work.
So... Good luck with getting that sorted.
If you're having real issure with the images, drop me a gaz and I'll talk you through it.

(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 4:07, Reply)
If I don't get it fixed by tomorrow, I'll gaz you.

Night! Enjoy your new job!
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 4:08, Reply)
Renaming tiff to jpg
On Macs, does that actually convert the file? Perhaps your image viewer software recognises the 'jpeg' file as a tiff. You can tell because the filesize for jpegs is usually smaller. If it's the same size, it means you've just renamed the file.

Load it into an image editor such as Photoshop and save it as whatever format you want. There are some lightweight image-viewers that do the trick.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 12:09, Reply)
Chat continues here.
(, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 12:41, Reply)

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